I Still Feel Greek...

Hi everyone. This is my first and probably will be my only post. I've been looking on this site for the past year or so but never got an account. I've found wonderful recruitment, philanthropy, and sisterhood tips, as well as fun cheers and activities to revive the sorority spirit. I'm from the Midwest, although my campus isn't very big, and our Greek system isn't very large (maybe 4 or 5 chapters total). When I joined my sorority, I adored it. I bled our colors for a year and a half.

And then I quit.

I was one of five who quit the sorority this semester. Since I initiated, only 2 girls remain in the sorority from my initiating class... that's a 25% retention rate, which should key you in on some problems right there. I still love the idea of Greek life in general, and how sororities are in general, but this particular chapter that I joined... oof. This chapter should not even exist. Let me explain.

When I was going through rush, it was wonderful. It is for everyone, isn't it? You get absolutely doted over with attention, they bend over backwards to get you to come to events and get you to pledge. I thought they genuinely liked me. I considered myself a shy but nice person, and I didn't have many friends since I transferred from up north. I figured, why not? I felt close to everyone, the events were fun, and everyone just seemed so....nice!

But you know what? After initiation, as soon as they get you, it's a complete 180. Half of the sisters started ignoring me, now that I was just another member, another tool to use for recruitment. I was expected to help come up with ideas on how to deal with the other sorority on campus who the chapter viewed as a "threat" instead of an opportunity to make connections. Did I mention we only have two social sororities? Well, we do. And they're always snarky and at war, blaming each other for stealing girls so that mine would never hit max numbers and get another sorority on campus. Not only that, but I was expected to go to everything. And I did, because I loved the sorority and wanted to show I was dedicated. Tabling twice a week, a philanthropy event on Thursday, sisterhood after that, volunteering on Saturday, chapter meeting on Sunday, council meetings on Wednesdays, plus Panhellenic and poster-making and recruiting. It was a mad house, the Exec board expects way too much from everyone. The problem was, I showed up. To all of it. So when I was sick, or needed a mental health day, I was bitched at up and down the block as soon as I recovered for not being there. Never a thank you for hard work, praise for a job well done, or even acknowledgment that I did something well. I was like a robot, and it hurt to realize that they didn't really care anymore.

Things just got progressively worse. Sisters would start being snarky to each other on purpose. The expectations from the tyrannical women on the Executive board would stress everyone else out, and people felt judged, cranky, and loathed to go see each other. It was basically forcing people who started to hate each other to go pretend to act sisterly. It was miserable! There was never anything fun to go to. The chapter I was in, pardon the language, had a giant stick up its ass. We never went to parties because it would "damage our reputation as ladies", or could drink with each other at someone's house without getting written up. God forbid you hang out at a fraternity house, because then you were seen as easy and would get talked to because "girls in the chapter went to Exec, and they were concerned". When I turned 21, I went downtown once or twice a weekend, and I got talked to. Even though, you know, I had the highest GPA in the chapter.

Sooo... I stopped caring. I went inactive, but still heard about the drama girls would fling at each other. One of my littles (I had three) despised me for deleting her off my facebook, which I had trimmed to close friends under the advice of my counselor who I started seeing for social anxiety and depression. It's sad that she'd use something as precious as a sisterhood candlelight to talk shit about me... and it's a poor reflection of her character, not mine. Anyway, things like this just happened. I got sick of it. I got sick of paying the money to be treated like this, I got sick of putting in everything I had to not even receive a "thank you" or smile of appreciation (even though a common mantra was 'you get what you put into it), and I got sick of living like a sister when clearly the chapter did not think of themselves as sisters. It was fake, it was hurtful, it was snooty, and I am sick of being a scapegoat for when things go wrong and never a good person for when I do something right.

I still feel Greek. Because I bled the colors for a year and acted more like a sister than they ever did... I still feel Greek.