Considering quitting

[greekanon]

Hey all,

First off, I've been a long time lurker here. I do have another username that I occasionally post under, but I've created this one in order to disassociate myself from my house. I generally avoid saying anything negative about my house EVER, but I’ve been so distraught that I just need a place to anonymously vent.

As the title of this thread indicates, I've been considering dropping out of my chapter. It's something that's been on my mind for a long time, and I'm finally nearing a breaking point.

Greek life at my school is rather unglamorous to be honest, but I do really enjoy being a part of it regardless. My chapter, however, is what you could call "bottom tier" and maybe rightfully so. There is an overwhelming lack of drive and motivation within the chapter to excel. I see all the other houses on campus doing amazing, wonderful things academically, philanthropically, and socially. Then there's my house that gets by on the bare minimum. I feel that my chapter doesn't live up to our national organization's values, and it's very disheartening.

I’ve been doing my best to keep my head up and lead by example, and be the change I want to see in my chapter, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I've never felt loved or embraced by my chapter. I've never felt supported, understood, or cared for in the least. In fact, some days I feel downright hated. I graduate at the end of this school year and I've been trying to tough it out, but right now I'm not sure if I can even get through the rest of this semester.

The one thing that's kept me in the game this long is that I always remember that I made a lifelong commitment, and I take that seriously. I feel guilty for entertaining the thought of quitting for that reason.

If anyone can relate and has some advice to share, I'd be happy to listen.