Thoughts from Someone Who Went Through Formal Recruitment

[Anonymity]

Hello! I've noticed a good amount of questions about formal recruitment. I recently went through recruitment and I'd like to write about my thoughts and tips about it while they're still fresh in my mind. To keep some anonymity about my situation I prefer to not disclose how my recruitment ended. I will say that I have been a greekchat lurk for a while! This is just a compilation of thoughts and tips in different situations that happened during my recruitment!


Issues I ran into:

Not being invited back to a particular chapter:
As everyone knows, sorority recruitment is a mutual selection process. Although you may want a particular chapter at your school, it doesn’t mean that the chapter wants you which is NOT a bad thing! It really isn’t fun to not be asked back but there always is a reason. If you think about it, the members of a chapter have a better idea of the type of person that would fit in with their chapter. It wouldn’t make sense to be in a sorority when it’s not easy to fit in with the girls in the chapter.

Being invited to other chapters I didn't want:
Keep going! If you were invited back to meet other chapters then go! Not all chapters are the same and it’s worth your time to explore the different characteristics of the chapters. I was not invited back to the chapter I had wanted going into recruitment but it was the best thing that ever happened to me! The other chapters that I was left with were a much better fit for me and I found that I enjoyed talking to the other girls a lot more!


What to do when visiting the house of a chapter you don’t want:
Don’t sulk! There is no reason to sulk! There’s no reason to not try and enjoy yourself while you’re there! Smile! Laugh! If you’re there, you might as well have fun!

When talking to other girls:
Be yourself! I am sorry to admit how mistaken I was because I believed that there were such things as sororities for dorks. While I was visiting these sorority houses I really let my guard down because I didn’t feel the need to impress them. I just talked. When I look back on it, I felt like I had to impress the other chapters and I didn’t relax as much as I should have. The chapters that I thought that were so dorky probably saw the real me. Although you should be on your best behavior at rush it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t relax. There’s no need to try and impress anyone. What the chapters are looking for are real girls so be yourself!

When you don’t receive a bid or you receive a bid from a chapter you don’t want:
Think about what you want to do next. There are options! If you have the time, you can go through formal recruitment again. There is always informal recruitment as well! If you feel like there’s a void in your life from not being in a sorority try and find ways to fill it. Try volunteering through clubs! Just do something.


How My Recruitment Ended:
On Preference Night, I was invited back to two sororities that I felt like I had not connected with. Throughout recruitment, I had picked which chapters I wanted to visit again based on how much I enjoyed being at the house. I found it easy to talk to all the different chapters but I did have more fun at some more than others. I ended up withdrawing from recruitment after Pref. night because I didn't want both chapters to waste a bid on me. I had heard about girls staying in a chapter for a couple of weeks and then dropping but it didn't feel right to do that because even accepting a bid feels like a big and very meaningful comittment.



**2nd Edit!**

What I Am Doing After Formal Recruitment:
I definitely will go through formal recruitment a second time. I have a full year to do things that would help me look more appealing on paper. I have about a 3.3 GPA and I plan on raising it as much as I can this school year. One of the disappointments of not being in a sorority this year is that I don't get to participate in the philanthropies. Each chapter at my school does something amazing that benefits the community and their charities. To fill that void, I'm participating in a volunteer program through one of the school clubs that will visit shelters and hopefully more. I also plan on tutoring and volunteering at the local middle school and high schools. The volunteer program makes me feel better since I can still do something to benefit the local community.

I was thinking about doing informal recruitment but I decided to wait because I would like the chance to visit each chapter again. That's just a personal choice. Not being invited back to certain chapters for formal recruitment did some damage to my self-esteem and that doesn't seem like a normal reaction. I've had some depression over family problems in the past year and that baggage is not something I want to take with me to a sorority. I think I need to take this year to settle those issues.

If there's anything else I can add to this please let me know.

[Drolefille]

You registered "anonymously" for this?

[agzg]

I really feel like this "experience" has been posted about 5,000 times here by members who don't need to be anonymous to do it.

[Anonymity]

It seems like a lot of girls come on to the forum asking the same questions over again. All I wanted to do was try and help because I remember being so anxious and curious about recruitment because I didn't know anything.

[agzg]

The PNMs that post the same questions over and over again are guilty of the exact same thing that you did - rather than doing a search and bumping a relevant (older) thread if they need to, they "special snowflake" it right up and post a new thread.

[violetpretty]

It doesn't make you any less anonymous by saying how your recruitment ended. You don't have to give the name of the sorority if you joined one. It'd be helpful to anyone for whom this thread was intended to know if you are a new member somewhere or not, and if not, why.

[OPhiAGinger]

Just curious.... Now that you've had some time to reflect back over your recruitment experiences, what are your next steps? Are you investigating informal recruitment opportunities? Or are you getting busy with other campus organizations? Or what?

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

Just curious.... Now that you've had some time to reflect back over your recruitment experiences, what are your next steps? Are you investigating informal recruitment opportunities? Or are you getting busy with other campus organizations? Or what?

I think the answer to THAT question would be useful, because there are always PNMs who come here, drop or get dropped, but never seem to get to the next step. I think that hearing about how someone who consciously chose not to be Greek if it meant being in ABC or XYZ was able to carry on and be successful would be actually stickiable (yes, I used the word "stickiable" in a sentence).

[Anonymity]

I just edited my post and included some answers to your questions OPhiAGinger!

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by Anonymity

What I Am Doing After Formal Recruitment:
I definitely will go through formal recruitment a second time. I have a full year to do things that would help me look more appealing on paper. I have about a 3.3 GPA and I plan on raising it as much as I can this school year. One of the disappointments of not being in a sorority this year is that I don't get to participate in the philanthropies. Each chapter at my school does something amazing that benefits the community and their charities. To fill that void, I'm participating in a volunteer program through one of the school clubs that will visit shelters and hopefully more. I also plan on tutoring and volunteering at the local middle school and high schools. The volunteer program makes me feel better since I can still do something to benefit the local community.

I was thinking about doing informal recruitment but I decided to wait because I would like the chance to visit each chapter again. That's just a personal choice. Not being invited back to certain chapters for formal recruitment did some damage to my self-esteem and that doesn't seem like a normal reaction. I've had some depression over family problems in the past year and that baggage is not something I want to take with me to a sorority. I think I need to take this year to settle those issues.

If there's anything else I can add to this please let me know.

Thanks for adding this.

I would actually advise you to take a look at COB, especially if you really want to be Greek, for a few reasons. First, many chapters shine during informal in ways they simply can't during formal. It's not that they're "bad" chapters, but they may just have a different vibe that doesn't really work with formal recruitment and the format (let's all be honest here-formal is a difficult format for any kind of "getting to know you" activity). During informal, I actually felt like I got to know the people who rushed me. Second, informal can a lot more fun than formal recruitment because, usually, the chapters involved have a lot more freedom in planning their events. You probably won't actually think you're being rushed. Lastly, you say you have a 3.3 GPA-how far are you in college? At many schools, going through as a sophomore is tough and going through as a junior is nearly (if not completely) impossible.

Also, rejection can mess with your self-esteem; there's nothing abnormal about that-it's learning how to handle it that makes the difference between high and low self-esteem.

[Anonymity]

Originally Posted by melindawarren

Thanks for adding this.

I would actually advise you to take a look at COB, especially if you really want to be Greek, for a few reasons. First, many chapters shine during informal in ways they simply can't during formal. It's not that they're "bad" chapters, but they may just have a different vibe that doesn't really work with formal recruitment and the format (let's all be honest here-formal is a difficult format for any kind of "getting to know you" activity). During informal, I actually felt like I got to know the people who rushed me. Second, informal can a lot more fun than formal recruitment because, usually, the chapters involved have a lot more freedom in planning their events. You probably won't actually think you're being rushed. Lastly, you say you have a 3.3 GPA-how far are you in college? At many schools, going through as a sophomore is tough and going through as a junior is nearly (if not completely) impossible.

Also, rejection can mess with your self-esteem; there's nothing abnormal about that-it's learning how to handle it that makes the difference between high and low self-esteem.

I'm actually a junior this year and next year will be my senior year :/. Not the easiest time to rush but my school isn't too competitive. My rho chi even said she had seniors in her pledge class. But I will check out COB when the time comes.

I guess the saddest part about rush was that I really liked the girls I talk to and I don't know if they just didn't like me enough or something else. Either way, I'm lucky to have fun memories from recruitment!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by Anonymity

I guess the saddest part about rush was that I really liked the girls I talk to and I don't know if they just didn't like me enough or something else.

Honestly for me, the very saddest part of this that you didn't like the girls that liked you enough to invite you back to pref. They would likely have offered you a bid to join their organization. You actually had a successful rush, especially considering you are a junior.

Originally Posted by Anonymity

On Preference Night, I was invited back to two sororities that I felt like I had not connected with... I ended up withdrawing from recruitment after Pref. night because I didn't want both chapters to waste a bid on me.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Anonymity

My rho chi even said she had seniors in her pledge class.

I don't know what school you are at, but I would find this EXTREMELY surprising at virtually any recruitment. Trust me, you are not going to have more options as a senior than you did as a junior. Approach the chapters doing COB now, or accept that you probably won't be Greek.

[DubaiSis]

Yes, although it CAN happen, I would only expect any real chance at pledging as a senior to be in a colony and since you haven't mentioned one coming onto campus (and I wouldn't plan on it and trying to make that happen now for next year is unrealistic at best) you are really limiting yourself to the really small chapters who are going to be willing to give you a chance. You didn't mention it, but are the chapters who invited you back the ones that were smaller, more "awkward," the ones the other girls didn't rave about? THOSE are going to be your options. If one of those chapters is doing informal, I'd consider taking them up on it. Because of your age, you might want to look at what alumna life is like for those sororities. You may have one year in this smaller chapter where you might well find out they're great girls, and then a lifetime of fantastic sisterhood. But that "top" chapter that cut you this year is not going to take you next year unless something really big changes, like you've become best friends with half the chapter. And even then it's unlikely.

[Anonymity]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Yes, although it CAN happen, I would only expect any real chance at pledging as a senior to be in a colony and since you haven't mentioned one coming onto campus (and I wouldn't plan on it and trying to make that happen now for next year is unrealistic at best) you are really limiting yourself to the really small chapters who are going to be willing to give you a chance. You didn't mention it, but are the chapters who invited you back the ones that were smaller, more "awkward," the ones the other girls didn't rave about? THOSE are going to be your options. If one of those chapters is doing informal, I'd consider taking them up on it. Because of your age, you might want to look at what alumna life is like for those sororities. You may have one year in this smaller chapter where you might well find out they're great girls, and then a lifetime of fantastic sisterhood. But that "top" chapter that cut you this year is not going to take you next year unless something really big changes, like you've become best friends with half the chapter. And even then it's unlikely.

I wasn't looking for a top chapter. I was looking for a right fit and if that's where I end up next year I'll accept it.

The only reason I wanted certain chapters was because they seemed to be the prime example of what a sorority should be. It's silly but I thought they wanted me too. They had such strong bonds of sisterhood. They weren't just best friends they were like sisters. They called each other out on their BS and would get into silly arguments. I just didn't get that from the two sororities that invited me to Pref. Night. Even my rho chi told me she was surprised I wasn't invited to her chapter's pref. night (this was all said after I withdrew). I wasn't looking for a top chapter. I was looking for a right fit and if the more "awkward" chapters is where I end up next year I can decide what to do then.