The psychology of sorority recruitment

[TriDeltaSallie]

Reading the rush threads makes me want to go back to school and do research on the psychology of sorority recruitment. The possibilities are endless.

800 or 1000 or 1200 women who are all bright, attractive and well-rounded collide for a week. Many of them have never faced significant failure before. Many of them have rarely failed to achieve goals they want. Many of them have not experienced finding out they aren't more special or desirable than the other women around them. How does the entire process impact them, especially those who desire certain chapters and find out those chapters don't think they are a good match?

Related to this is the idea that has come up on GC that PNMs will desire certain chapters because they want to be like the women in that chapter rather than the fact that they would really fit in. The ability to honestly evaluate who you are and where you would fit in well is really a challenge for a lot of young women. Getting your invites back and realizing you aren't really a ABC or DEF can be a major blow to some women's egos. How do women respond? Does she see the truth in it or simply blame the women in the chapter for rejecting her?

Trust the process is something that PNMs hear all the time on GC. The PNMs echo with "every sorority at ABC University has so much to offer"... Until they are dropped from the groups they really want and realize that the sororities that are left that "have so much to offer because every group at ABC University is outstanding" aren't what they envisioned for themselves all summer and all week. It's easy to repeat the mantra when you are "sure" you will end up in one of the most desirable groups. It is completely different when you are faced with your only options being the groups you ranked last all week. Why do some women continue to trust the process and others reject the entire system?

It would be interesting to follow up with the women who drop out and see how much they blame the sorority members and/or the process and how many of them are able to honestly evaluate themselves and recognize that they didn't belong in particular groups they really wanted for whatever reason.

And on the opposite end of the spectrum... How many women receive a boost of confidence because of their recruitment experience and the fact that they make it through the entire process? It would be interesting to know the positive psychological impact of completing recruitment successfully and how that plays out in the rest of the life in college and beyond.

[dgdramadawg]

Anyone need a dissertation topic?

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by dgdramadawg

Anyone need a dissertation topic?

I know! That's what I mean. All the time I piddle away reading recruitment stories... I could be getting a degree for this!

[katydidKD]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8rrIYevONQ


I'm sure this has been discussed on here, but your post reminds me of parts of this (where the one woman talks about the psychology behind it)

[Lady Pi]

Wow

I hope "Anonymous" gets her membership cancelled, even though apparently it doesn't mean that much to her.

I feel really bad for Allie, being taken advantage of like that. I wonder if she got into trouble after this video debuted. If I were her I would be pretty angry with the director when the video kept mentioning the awful stereotypes of Sorority A and then she pledged Sorority A.

The psychology of Recruitment is pretty interesting. I feel like it takes a lot of guts to go through with it for some girls. Most things in life people tell you to not "take it personally". Well, Rush is personal. THEY DON'T LIKE YOU! THEY LOVE YOU! THEY MADE A POSTER OF YOUR FACE! It can be a huge ego boost or a huge blow.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I think much of getting over a disappointing recruitment is realizing that there is a certain type of girl who does well in rush, and not everyone is that type. Regardless of recs and legacies and pre-existing friendships, the most desired PNM's are generally those who make a great impression in five minutes.

If you listed what you wanted in a sister, you'd list things like "loyalty" or "good listener". If you took a chapter inventory, you may end up with things like "leadership potential" and "financially responsible", but none of those qualities are really ferreted out during recruitment. Many of the women who don't have full schedules could be bristling with all of these things.

[kchaptergphib]

Originally Posted by Lady Pi

Wow

I hope "Anonymous" gets her membership cancelled, even though apparently it doesn't mean that much to her.

If I remember correctly, the 'Anonymous' girl was the former Recruitment Chair for her chapter. She left the chapter (or was asked to leave, I don't know). So, no, she's no longer a member of the organization.

[ASUADPi]

Quite honestly I think the psychology makeup of today's PNM's is different than past ones. I say this because, impo, the PNM's going into recruitment today have the "entitlement" complex.

I see this in elementary school. The "everyone has to get an award" and "everyone has to be recognized". Personally I think it is a crock, because that isn't real life. It's like a football game, one team has to win and one team will lose. It's not a draw.

I think that is the problem with today's PNM's, they are so used to things just being handed to them, because god forbid we "damage" their psyche in school and not let everyone make the cheer team (who tried out).

It wasn't like this in the past. I graduated from high school in 1997 and I didn't make things that I tried out for. Yes it sucked and I was jealous of those who did make it, but that is life.

[lilybeth3]

this is spot-on. I think it is worth a study. I also say the same ideas for people who begin college and realize there are people smarter, cuter, taller, shorter, thinner, fatter, richer, poorer, etc than you. quite a culture shock!!!!

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

Quite honestly I think the psychology makeup of today's PNM's is different than past ones. I say this because, impo, the PNM's going into recruitment today have the "entitlement" complex.

I see this in elementary school. The "everyone has to get an award" and "everyone has to be recognized". Personally I think it is a crock, because that isn't real life. It's like a football game, one team has to win and one team will lose. It's not a draw.

I think that is the problem with today's PNM's, they are so used to things just being handed to them, because god forbid we "damage" their psyche in school and not let everyone make the cheer team (who tried out).

It wasn't like this in the past. I graduated from high school in 1997 and I didn't make things that I tried out for. Yes it sucked and I was jealous of those who did make it, but that is life.

+1

This is what I was alluding to in my first paragraph, but you summed it up very well. The shock of finding out that you aren't extraordinary like you've always thought and been told, but that you are simply "average" in the world of recruitment.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Related to this is the idea that has come up on GC that PNMs will desire certain chapters because they want to be like the women in that chapter rather than the fact that they would really fit in. The ability to honestly evaluate who you are and where you would fit in well is really a challenge for a lot of young women. Getting your invites back and realizing you aren't really a ABC or DEF can be a major blow to some women's egos. How do women respond? Does she see the truth in it or simply blame the women in the chapter for rejecting her?

Trust the process is something that PNMs hear all the time on GC. The PNMs echo with "every sorority at ABC University has so much to offer"... Until they are dropped from the groups they really want and realize that the sororities that are left that "have so much to offer because every group at ABC University is outstanding" aren't what they envisioned for themselves all summer and all week. It's easy to repeat the mantra when you are "sure" you will end up in one of the most desirable groups. It is completely different when you are faced with your only options being the groups you ranked last all week. Why do some women continue to trust the process and others reject the entire system?

All this is why I started that thread "You'll End Up Where You Were Meant to" many years ago. I don't believe that now any more than I did when I started the thread because I've seen too may inexplicable results.

[DubaiSis]

I live in the land of uber-entitlement and you see it rear its ugly head in all kinds of places, but most negatively on the roads, where young locals think (probably subconsciously) that they are entitled to more of the road than the rest of us. If your car literally won't fit in a lane even when you are perfectly centered, it's too big. And forget parking that behemoth in a parking garage.

By giving your child everything they want in life (says the woman with no kids, so I know more than the rest of you - HA!) you are not doing them any favors. This may be where the average girl - smart enough, cute enough but not super duper anything - can actually succeed in rush and in sorority life where that "best girl" can't. She's never had to except anything less than exactly what she wanted, and isn't prepared to start now. And she will have a diminished experience because of it. That's too bad.

I don't know if this is new or just more apparent in the communication-laden world we now live in, but it SEEMS worse to me than in the past.

I also think there's something to consider about too much attention paid to not hurting a child's self-esteem. Of course we don't want kids growing up depressed and feeling worthless, but isn't failure, disappointment, rejection, all that nasty stuff, part of the growing pains of life? And don't we come out the other end better people for having gone through it? I don't know, but you can add that to the thesis and I'll look forward to reading it.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I think much of getting over a disappointing recruitment is realizing that there is a certain type of girl who does well in rush, and not everyone is that type. Regardless of recs and legacies and pre-existing friendships, the most desired PNM's are generally those who make a great impression in five minutes.

If you listed what you wanted in a sister, you'd list things like "loyalty" or "good listener". If you took a chapter inventory, you may end up with things like "leadership potential" and "financially responsible", but none of those qualities are really ferreted out during recruitment. Many of the women who don't have full schedules could be bristling with all of these things.

+1

It is interesting that on the video link someone left a comment that half the women in her chapter were b******. I can honestly say that I cannot recall a single woman in my chapter of a hundred women that I would characterize that way. Yes, some were more high maintenance than others and there were some who might have been more prone to drama. But nothing like what this woman is talking about. But I can think of many I would call loyal, good listeners, leaders, trustworthy and a whole slew of other positive things.

Then again, we were one of those chapters deemed "less desirable" and did not necessarily shine as brightly during formal recruitment. But I would have put the overall quality of our general membership up against the overall quality of the general membership of all the other sororities any day.

[KDMafia]

If you listed what you wanted in a sister, you'd list things like "loyalty" or "good listener". If you took a chapter inventory, you may end up with things like "leadership potential" and "financially responsible", but none of those qualities are really ferreted out during recruitment. Many of the women who don't have full schedules could be bristling with all of these things.

See I am not to sure about this. I believe that a lot can be learned in recruitment if the sorority members ask the right questions. Learning about part time jobs in high school and college, learning about leadership in their EC. You can find out about loyalty talking about family or high school friends, empathy in their current and past friendships or even connection to past pets. It's learning how to take the time you have and ask the right questions. I think it also helps you identify the ones who are taking sorority membership seriously. Recruitment shouldn't be treated as the elephant in the room. If sororities take the selection process seriously it will help the PNMs as well.

I think this also helps chapters identify which PNMs are interested in them as well. Someone who rolls her eyes when you ask her about experience volunteering or gives one word answers shows they are not interested in impressing you, while if you focus just on small talk can make it easier for the uninterested PNM so seem more engaged just based on the amount of effort they need to put forth.

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I think much of getting over a disappointing recruitment is realizing that there is a certain type of girl who does well in rush, and not everyone is that type. Regardless of recs and legacies and pre-existing friendships, the most desired PNM's are generally those who make a great impression in five minutes.

If you listed what you wanted in a sister, you'd list things like "loyalty" or "good listener". If you took a chapter inventory, you may end up with things like "leadership potential" and "financially responsible", but none of those qualities are really ferreted out during recruitment. Many of the women who don't have full schedules could be bristling with all of these things.

You are absolutely spot on with the comment about first impressions. I think that is what is the biggest issue with RFM. A lot of those women your releasing today after round 1 you kept for another look under the old system. I would like to see some other way to release women after round 1 then go to RFM.