When you aren't "the best girl"

MTSUHopeful · #1 08-12-2011, 06:19 PM

Okay, so I don't remember the exact thread I read this on (and it could be a few years old, even) but someone mentioned that MTSU sororities are quite competitive in wanting the "Best Girls".

The comment-er went on to explain that the "Best" were those who were Pageant winners, very athletic, dance oriented, and those with super high GPAs.

Now, I am none of these things, unless you count my 3.5ish GPA (I say ish because it is around there, but I do not wish to specify) which doesn't seem super high to me. I've never been keen on athletics. I only dance for fun and like a dork might I add. And the only pageant I've ever been in was when I was a child for the small town I grew up in (it was for some holiday for a parade or something. As you can see, I remember it so well).

This is both a question and a comment.

Comment first.

I assume I will have to work very hard to stand out and make myself look like a good asset to the sorority. Be chatty (which thankfully, is one of my strong suits) and friendly. Avoid the no-no topics and make myself memorable.

But how? How does one who is just your "average" sweet girl make herself stand out in a crowd full of over achieving, dancing or athletic pageant winners? I know there is no "right" answer, and most will say, "Just be yourself!" but.. I'm sure there are others out there who are like me, "average", who are just as scared that we will be passed over for those who are "better".

I'm not looking for a definitive answer, but more along the lines of tips and tricks to get yourself noticed.

And obviously these tips don't have to be just for MTSU, but for any recruitment (though tips for slightly to very competitive recruitment might be best).

Thanks ladies. :]

AlphaFrog · #2 08-12-2011, 06:53 PM

A noticeable, but not obnoxiously so conversation piece.

Whatever it is, make it your signature piece. That way, the sisters can say, "Oh, yeah, that girl with the cool necklace/chunky bracelet/funky scarf.

#3 08-12-2011, 06:58 PM

In addition to a killer accessory, make sure you have some killer (but honest!) stories to share. Look for ways to bump up the conversation from "So, what did you do this summer?" to bonding topics. I always remember the girls that talk about loving to cook, baking, or food network (don't judge!), because those are things I'm interested in. Basically, try to branch out in your conversations and open yourself up a little more than normal.

Benzgirl · #4 08-12-2011, 07:20 PM

What she said.

Rehearse something for the "pregnant pauses". Often an active will get cold feet too and ask, "do you have any questions"? Ok, so that is something we train our girls not to say, but it happens. Ask about the philanthropy, why they selected the chapter, etc. If you really want to figure out with whom in the chapter you can better connect, ask if there is anyone from your hometown in the chapter or in your major.

MTSUHopeful · #5 08-12-2011, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

A noticeable, but not obnoxiously so conversation piece.

Whatever it is, make it your signature piece. That way, the sisters can say, "Oh, yeah, that girl with the cool necklace/chunky bracelet/funky scarf.

Oh, that is actually a fantastic idea.. And as I am in the process of re-doing my entire wardrobe with some louder pieces, so I will look into this. I assume stand out hair pieces (flowers and head bands) will work?

MTSUHopeful · #6 08-12-2011, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

What she said.

Rehearse something for the "pregnant pauses". Often an active will get cold feet too and ask, "do you have any questions"? Ok, so that is something we train our girls not to say, but it happens. Ask about the philanthropy, why they selected the chapter, etc. If you really want to figure out with whom in the chapter you can better connect, ask if there is anyone from your hometown in the chapter or in your major.

If I may, why are they called "pregnant pauses"? I mean, I have heard about awkward pauses, but.. pregnant?

But yes, I will remember to bring something interesting to ask or talk about to the table. Thank you. :]

DeltaBetaBaby · #7 08-13-2011, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTSUHopeful

If I may, why are they called "pregnant pauses"? I mean, I have heard about awkward pauses, but.. pregnant?

But yes, I will remember to bring something interesting to ask or talk about to the table. Thank you. :]

Specific anecdotes are good. So, if someone says "what did you do over the summer?", instead of "went on vacation with my family" you could be like "my family went to new york to see some shows and visit museums. I really loved The Book of Mormon, and the art at the Met really impressed me".

MTSUHopeful · #8 08-13-2011, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Specific anecdotes are good. So, if someone says "what did you do over the summer?", instead of "went on vacation with my family" you could be like "my family went to new york to see some shows and visit museums. I really loved The Book of Mormon, and the art at the Met really impressed me".

Now to actually do something that cool. Good example though, thank you.

Loyally Kappa · #9 08-13-2011, 01:47 AM

If you really feel you are not a "best girl" ... go to a small school. The really "huge" sororities don't colonize at the small schools so you can blow them off with no loss to our self-esteem. If you are a "good girl," you will likely be pledged to a totally rockin' strong national sorority and will benefit from strong Panhellenic connections for the rest of your life.

We can't all get our letters from our great-grandma ... but you can have a valued set to pass along!

victoriana · #10 08-13-2011, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loyally Kappa

If you really feel you are not a "best girl" ... go to a small school. The really "huge" sororities don't colonize at the small schools so you can blow them off with no loss to our self-esteem. If you are a "good girl," you will likely be pledged to a totally rockin' strong national sorority and will benefit from strong Panhellenic connections for the rest of your life.

We can't all get our letters from our great-grandma ... but you can have a valued set to pass along!

What?? This post completely baffles me. It seems like she has already decided she is going to MTSU and is looking for ways she can stand out, so your advice makes no sense. It actually seems like you are condescending to sororities who are not "huge." You say that if she's not a "good girl," she should go to a small school, where the "rockin' strong national sororities" don't colonize. It doesn't seem very Panhellenic of you to say something like that. Maybe I just took it the wrong way, but that's how you came across.

OP, just be yourself and be confident. Dress for success and look your best. Follow the tips the other posters have already brought up. Don't worry about tiers or reputations, join the sorority that's best for YOU and where you feel comfortable. After all, you wouldn't want to be in a chapter where you felt like you always had to be looking and acting perfect, right? Good luck

kaylaxlove · #11 08-13-2011, 03:20 AM

OP, talk about the things you DID do. What did you participate in while you were in high school--there are many things that can make you stand out--not just dancing & pageants.

& to Loyally Kappa--I beg to disagree, I go to a small school and all of our sororities are top national sororities, including two which are considered "top" at many SEC schools, so I don't think that's correct. Beyond that--PNMs shouldn't go into recruitment looking to join a "big" sorority, but rather attempting to find their true sisterhood.

DubaiSis · #12 08-13-2011, 04:35 AM

And you're not joining letters, you're making friends. We could spend hours on why you think you are not "best girl" but most of us are not literally beauty queens, but still have something great to offer. I for one have a charming way with humor and sarcasm (

) and a fantastic ability to organize. But was I Gamma Phi material (on my campus)? No. Am I sorry about that? NO. I would not have wanted to be on 24/7 and I have to think there was a certain pressure there to look great all the time.

I think as rush can be such a blow to your self-esteem, it would be very healthy for you to spend some time thinking about what makes you awesome. If you are REALLY short on self-esteem, maybe you can talk to a very trusted friend or your mother. Rush is no time to be self-depricating, but knowing which of your MANY attributes to cheer about might take some forethought. Put yourself together a play list of girl power music (I Am Woman by Helen Reddy comes to mind but there are plenty that are much more current), and write out, even if for your eyes only, what makes you great. Then burn it if you have to but try to keep the message in your heart. You undoubtedly have something a sorority wants - you just have to find the right marketing and packaging so they KNOW you are who they want.

If your concern is your physical appearance, what can you do about that in the couple weeks before recruitment starts? Maybe get a rockin new haircut, a full make over (and learning how to apply the makeup), a wardrobe overhaul overseen by someone you think has awesome taste. If you think you are not rockin it now, then obviously there's something you would like to change. So change it! That can feel like a leap into the deep end, but it might be the self-esteem boost you need right now.

Good luck!

summer_gphib · #13 08-13-2011, 07:17 AM

In the same way that some houses, I suppose, are only looking for "the best girls," there are some pnms that are only looking for "the top houses." Would you want to be in a house that was that superficial? I wouldn't. Go in being genuine and unique. Don't look for things that make you "best," but things that make you "different." A great jewelry piece is a wonderful idea. But look for things to talk about that make you stand out-- are you funny? Were you in any extracurriculars? Were you once ran over by Santa and his reindeer? There has to be something that makes YOU uniquely YOU.
Believe it or not the sorority members are nervous too. They aren't all looking for the "best girls" but the "best fit." Let the process work, and be confident in who you are. If you don't find a fit, that's okay too. There are lots of other ways and places to get involved on campus. It doesn't mean that you weren't "top" or "awesome," it just means you weren't the right fit! (Kind of like the awesome shoes that I saw this weekend-- but they were three sizes too small!)

Senusret I · #14 08-13-2011, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTSUHopeful

If I may, why are they called "pregnant pauses"? I mean, I have heard about awkward pauses, but.. pregnant?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comic_t...Pregnant_pause

FSUZeta · #15 08-13-2011, 09:31 AM

OP, there are going to be far more average girls going thru recruitment than there are beauty queens. be yourself, use some of the suggestions from the above posters and enjoy the process. your writing is insightful and witty-if you can translate that from the written to the spoken word, you should be fine.

loyally kappa-really? there are just no words.....