Need advice for legacy.

Tex2Indy · #1 03-11-2011, 05:24 PM

I've been a rushee, active, and a Rho Chi, but those things happened decades ago. I'm sending my daughter off to college and through rush this fall. What advice can you give a legacy? She is very excited about the prospect of Greek life, because she sees how much I loved it, and that I am still close to my sisters 25 years out of college. She will be attending the same campus I attended. While I would LOVE for her to pledge my house, I want her to keep an open mind and go where she feels at home.

When I went through rush it was all about looks, clothes, and how many high school activities you were involved in. Does the same thing hold true today? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being Greek, but I am just being honest about what it was like in the early 80's. What do I need to know to help her have the best experience she can have?

Thanks!

IndianaSigKap · #2 03-11-2011, 05:32 PM

It really depends on where she's going. Some campuses are much more competitive than others. But there are some tips that are pretty universal no matter where she will be attending. GPA does matter, the higher grades she has the better. High school activities are relative. Some campuses place more value on them than others. Also, certain activities are more relevant depending on the chapter, when recruitment is and who picks her up at the door. For example, at one chapter the girl who picked me up and I had similar majors and were in the same activities in school. We had great conversation and that is most likely the reason I was invited back as I had no recs and did not know anyone in the chapter. Getting involved on campus helps, if it's deferred rush.

KSUViolet06 · #3 03-11-2011, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tex2Indy

I've been a rushee, active, and a Rho Chi, but those things happened decades ago. I'm sending my daughter off to college and through rush this fall. What advice can you give a legacy? She is very excited about the prospect of Greek life, because she sees how much I loved it, and that I am still close to my sisters 25 years out of college. She will be attending the same campus I attended. While I would LOVE for her to pledge my house, I want her to keep an open mind and go where she feels at home.

When I went through rush it was all about looks, clothes, and how many high school activities you were involved in. Does the same thing hold true today? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being Greek, but I am just being honest about what it was like in the early 80's. What do I need to know to help her have the best experience she can have?

Thanks!

Specific advice really depends on the school.

Generally speaking, it's important to understand that she isn't guaranteed a bid.

See also: How moms should treat their legacy daughters.

FSUZeta · #4 03-11-2011, 06:34 PM

as the mother of a legacy myself(who is now an alum.),i would say reminding your daughter to find the sorority where she will feel the most comfortable and reminding her to keep an open mind are important. Also let her know that her legacy chapter does not have keep inviting her back, so if they do, it is because they really like her.

ComradesTrue · #5 03-11-2011, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Also let her know that her legacy chapter does not have keep inviting her back, so if they do, it is because they really like her.

This.

I would say that the biggest change in the past 25 years is the number of legacies participating in recruitment. Whereas in the past being a legacy could almost guarantee a bid, at many schools through the south (and some in the north) this is far from the case. It is not uncommon to have more legacies to a chapter participating in recruitment than what quota winds up being. It becomes a numbers game on the limited number of invites that a chapter can give to their legacies.

Therefore, if the legacy group does release your daughter, please understand that it may be simply due to the high number of other legacies particpating, and NOT because they didn't like her. Yes, it hurts both the mom and the daughter to be released. Recognizing that it could be a possiblity before recruitment even starts may help to reduce the sting and lessen the shock. Recognizing that it may be a possibility may also help the daughter look at ALL groups on campus from the beginning.

And, to reiterate what FSUZeta said, if they do offer a bid to your daughter then she can know it was because they liked her for HER and not because of you.

Best of luck!

DeltaBetaBaby · #6 03-11-2011, 06:58 PM

If the sign-up form asks for legacy affiliations, the other chapters may know she is a legacy elsewhere. She should emphasize to them that she is not set on her legacy chapter and that she is really looking for the best fit.

adpiucf · #7 03-13-2011, 10:26 PM

The most important thing to understand is that being a legacy doesn't guarantee anything. Some PNMs in the past have also run into being cut by other sororities who assume they will join their legacy chapter, so it may be something to think about that she shouldn't list her legacy status on her recruitment application-- just make sure the legacy chapter has a recommendation sent to them. If this is a school where recommendations are commonplace, make sure she gets them for every chapter. You should also check to see what recruitment attire looks like these days at the university and shop accordingly.