OMG BFF!!

DrPhil · #1 06-21-2010, 10:59 AM

The end of the best friend.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/fashion/17BFF.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/irene-..._b_616195.html

My response:
As if today's children and young adults aren't screwed up and overprotected enough, now the "experts" are discussing how having a best friend at a very young age could be a bad thing.

Grown adults of GC, raise your hand if having a best friend, regardless of the gender of the friend, ruined your ideals of friendship and screwed you up. *crickets*

Drolefille · #2 06-21-2010, 11:02 AM

I've seen these sort of articles recently and I think it's just silliness (and another example of parents overmanaging their children's lives).

Although odds are the 'experts' really didn't expect parents to change anything, but were doing their typical "hey how's that phenomenon work? We should study it!"

groovypq · #3 06-21-2010, 11:05 AM

w...t...f....

Kevin · #4 06-21-2010, 11:19 AM

Meh.. someone needed a unique topic for a thesis and this gem somehow slipped past the committee. That can be the only rational explanation for such a stupid idea even coming close to being mainstream.

ForeverRoses · #5 06-21-2010, 11:20 AM

That's just dumb. Having a best friend doesn't mean kids don't have other friends as well!

Then again, I also hate the term "playdate", so maybe I'm just out of touch with new parenting lingo.

Drolefille · #6 06-21-2010, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

Meh.. someone needed a unique topic for a thesis and this gem somehow slipped past the committee. That can be the only rational explanation for such a stupid idea even coming close to being mainstream.

It's more "parenting fad" than mainstream I think. This too shall pass.

agzg · #7 06-21-2010, 11:36 AM

I wouldn't trade my best friendships (all of them) for anything.

33girl · #8 06-21-2010, 11:46 AM

Before you try to keep best friends apart, parents, you should probably peep this movie and think twice.

I also hate the term "playdate" - um, I called my friend on the phone or just went down over the hill to her house. Like 10 minutes after I thought of it. Then again, I didn't have multiple dance/gym lessons and sports to think of. I wouldn't have minded having a little bit of that stuff, but kids nowadays are so scheduled it's ridiculous.

KSUViolet06 · #9 06-21-2010, 12:29 PM

No 2 kids can be best friends because it excludes others, so kids should hang out in groups?

This seems like a by-product of the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality and another area of kids' lives in which heli-moms think it's ok to insert themselves.

I had one best friend growing up, but I still had other friends I would hang out with.

When things went wrong with my best friend and we were mad at each other, my mom didn't immediately jump in and make sure I was hanging out with others. She just let it run its course because she knew we'd be friends again by next week.

ForeverRoses · #10 06-21-2010, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Before you try to keep best friends apart, parents, you should probably peep this movie and think twice.

I also hate the term "playdate" - um, I called my friend on the phone or just went down over the hill to her house. Like 10 minutes after I thought of it. Then again, I didn't have multiple dance/gym lessons and sports to think of. I wouldn't have minded having a little bit of that stuff, but kids nowadays are so scheduled it's ridiculous.

My biggest peeve about "playdates" is that 9 out of 10 times, it is the parent that calls to arrange it. Usually a day or two in advance.

I refuse to call my son's friends- he is almost 8, he can read, he can dial a phone. If he wants to play with his friends, then he can figure it out himself.

I also refuse to play the "status playdate" game- I am not arranging playdates with people just because they are at the top of the mommy clique at school. If my kids are friends with their kids, then great, if not, it's not a big loss and I'm not going to jockey my kid into a friendship so it makes me feel better about myself.

KSUViolet06 · #11 06-21-2010, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

My biggest peeve about "playdates" is that 9 out of 10 times, it is the parent that calls to arrange it. Usually a day or two in advance.

I refuse to call my son's friends- he is almost 8, he can read, he can dial a phone. If he wants to play with his friends, then he can figure it out himself.

I also refuse to play the "status playdate" game- I am not arranging playdates with people just because they are at the top of the mommy clique at school. If my kids are friends with their kids, then great, if not, it's not a big loss and I'm not going to jockey my kid into a friendship so it makes me feel better about myself.

This is funny because I was JUST talking to my friend about playdates and she was discussing how annoying they are.

Her husband actually told me that the whole "playdate" culture is very much based on who the PARENTS want to hang out with (moreso than the kids, who are not in the age range to be able to choose anyway).

Example: Friend became friends with another mom via planning an event for the preschool class. Since they were friends, she asked if maybe they could set up a playdate. Mom said they were busy. Two weeks later, Friend finds out that Mom had a playdate that same weekend with another couple (who happens to have a home movie theatre in their basement and two tennis courts). So often, parents plan playdates with the parents who THEY are more interested in hanging out with.

She also discussed how kids birthday party invites are the same way. Certain moms only invite certain kids to their kid's parties based on the ADULTS they want to be there. Example: Dad will invite Suzie to Katie's 1st birthday party because Suzie's Dad has that awesome timeshare in Martha's Vineyard and they want to be invited to their annual excursion this summer.

Drolefille · #12 06-21-2010, 12:51 PM

I grew up with "play dates" but it was only when it was like four of us from preschool getting together at someone's house. It was totally for the moms too, at least sometimes, but we were all friends and got along too and not all of the moms hung out at the same time.

Doing it that way makes sense to me because you're coordinating multiple people, but it wasn't about exclusivity either.

tld221 · #13 06-21-2010, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Before you try to keep best friends apart, parents, you should probably peep this movie and think twice.

I also hate the term "playdate" - um, I called my friend on the phone or just went down over the hill to her house. Like 10 minutes after I thought of it. Then again, I didn't have multiple dance/gym lessons and sports to think of. I wouldn't have minded having a little bit of that stuff, but kids nowadays are so scheduled it's ridiculous.

we're having some event called "playdate with a purpose" which is suppose to link parents up to reading to each other's kids, and in some way, raising awareness (read: money) for the organization. I think it sounds a little dumb, but then again, based on KSUViolet's breakdown, i totally get it - the parents theyre trying to target are definitely the "playdate" set. Let's get out kids together while we talk (social) business.

33girl · #14 06-21-2010, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I also refuse to play the "status playdate" game- I am not arranging playdates with people just because they are at the top of the mommy clique at school. If my kids are friends with their kids, then great, if not, it's not a big loss and I'm not going to jockey my kid into a friendship so it makes me feel better about myself.

This seriously happens??? I mean, I kind of thought maybe it might, but I was hoping I was wrong. Jeez, I'm getting happier and happier that I didn't procreate.

I've been in situations where my mom or dad was friends with a kid who I wasn't friends with's parents and the other kid and I, if we were forced to be in the same place, pretty much just sat and ignored each other the whole time. If anything, it made us MORE antagonistic toward each other.

KSUViolet06 · #15 06-21-2010, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

This seriously happens??? I mean, I kind of thought maybe it might, but I was hoping I was wrong. Jeez, I'm getting happier and happier that I didn't procreate.

Yepper. I am friends with some mom's of preschool aged kids (like 2 and 3 year olds) and they say it is totally ridiculous.

Example: Suzie's mom dresses fabulously, has a Saks private shopper, and a cool condo in Hilton Head that they visit for summer. Her older son Bobby also goes to the best private school in the area (where Hubby is a big deal donor). She is always first to volunteer for everything at Suzie's preschool and the teachers really like her. She also has a gathering over summer at said condo for all her BFF mom's and their kids.

Becky's mom is your average stay-at-home mom. Not alot of new clothes, dresses ok. She notices how all the other mom's ask Suzie's mom for parentng advice and think she's perfect. She also notices that she hosts these fab shopping trips and trips to the condo. She wants to be more like them. Oh, and her son goes to the same school that she would like her older son Timmy to go to--perhaps they could put in a good word with admissions next year.

So, Becky's mom might sign up to volunteer at a school event where Suzie's mom will be working. She's strategically place Becky near where little Suzie is playing, in an attempt to strike up a convo, hoping that it will eventally lead to "hey we have a playdate on this date with a few other girls, wanna come?"

Yes, it's very similar to sitting behind Regina George in HS in hopes that she will talk to you.