I Need Help!

[JuliaNJ]

Hi there. I just came across this website today. I think this might the right place for me to get some advice.

I am a junior at a small Catholic school in Philadelphia. There are about 4,000 undergrads, total. So, needless to day, you really do get to notice everyone else. Also, most of the students (including me) come from around the area, so chances are that you know at least a few kids you went to high school with you.

I wasn't popular at all at my high school. My mom didn't have a lot of money but she still managed to get me and my brother into a pretty expensive private school. Most of the kids were well off, though, and weren't afraid to show it. I only had a few friends and we were the school's freaks. We were really into indie and punk music, dyed our hair, etc. We were made fun of a lot for looking so out of place (on top of not having money) and for being weird.

In college, most of my friends are similar. We like going to indie rock shows, arthouse films, etc. We do our own thing. My school has a big Greek population. We never really go to any of the big parties. And if we do, a few people are destined to say something to us, calling us freaks or something like that. But, yeah, it's not like we're all innocent, though, we've said our share of nasty stuff.

But I've just gotten in such a rut. I'm sick of doing the same old things that I've done since I've been 14. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and realizing that I'm wearing a band t-shirt and thrift store jeans. I hate going to some dive bar where everyone has a tattoo. I'm sick of dating some skinny, scrawny emo nerds.

It's hard... but I think I want to join the "enemy." I never got along with most sorority types before... but I think I want to give it a shot. They look like they have so much fun all the time. They don't look like slobs, they wear nice clothes, they go to cool bars. And they also hang out with guys who are actually guys.

I'm starting to realize that... yeah... I guess I've been a tad bit jealous of the sorority types I've made fun of my whole life.

I just don't even know where to start. Like I said, my school is really small. If I actually do end up somehow in a sorority, I'm really going to lose a lot of friends over this. It does feel a bit like I'm going to betraying them to join the people I/we have never liked. But I think it's what I really want to do.

Any advice?