Ignored for a COB

[txstategirl]

I guess I'm mainly venting since I have no one to complain to at the moment.

I went through rush, and didn't get a bid. I was bummed, but I got over it. Shortly after bid day, some girls from my rho gamma group told me about COB and that they had submitted my name. I was sooooo excited. Later, I received an email formally inviting me to a COB event and was told that I would receive a phone call from one of the actives to let me know exactly when the COB event was. Since then, nothing.

Last night, I was talking to a girl from my rho gamma group who was in the sorority that had invited me. Apparently, the event happened two weeks ago and the chapter has now reached quota. I didn't get a call, email, anything. I was completely shocked and hurt. Why bother to invite me if you're just going to ignore me? That's kind of cruel.

Has this happened to anyone else? I know you can't tell me why because you don't know and weren't there, but still. Boo. At this point, I just have an awful opinion of the girls involved in planning the COB event because of the way this all went down, and I don't want to. Any insight? (Oh, and thanks for letting me vent)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by txstategirl

I guess I'm mainly venting since I have no one to complain to at the moment.

I went through rush, and didn't get a bid. I was bummed, but I got over it. Shortly after bid day, some girls from my rho gamma group told me about COB and that they had submitted my name. I was sooooo excited. Later, I received an email formally inviting me to a COB event and was told that I would receive a phone call from one of the actives to let me know exactly when the COB event was. Since then, nothing.

Last night, I was talking to a girl from my rho gamma group who was in the sorority that had invited me. Apparently, the event happened two weeks ago and the chapter has now reached quota. I didn't get a call, email, anything. I was completely shocked and hurt. Why bother to invite me if you're just going to ignore me? That's kind of cruel.

Has this happened to anyone else? I know you can't tell me why because you don't know and weren't there, but still. Boo. At this point, I just have an awful opinion of the girls involved in planning the COB event because of the way this all went down, and I don't want to. Any insight? (Oh, and thanks for letting me vent)

Something to think about: It may not have been intentional. Someone may have been responsible for getting your info to the person in charge of making the phone calls and forgot? Or the person could have forgotten to call you?

I honestly don't know what could have happened, but it's just a thought.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by txstategirl

I guess I'm mainly venting since I have no one to complain to at the moment.

I went through rush, and didn't get a bid. I was bummed, but I got over it. Shortly after bid day, some girls from my rho gamma group told me about COB and that they had submitted my name. I was sooooo excited. Later, I received an email formally inviting me to a COB event and was told that I would receive a phone call from one of the actives to let me know exactly when the COB event was. Since then, nothing.

Last night, I was talking to a girl from my rho gamma group who was in the sorority that had invited me. Apparently, the event happened two weeks ago and the chapter has now reached quota. I didn't get a call, email, anything. I was completely shocked and hurt. Why bother to invite me if you're just going to ignore me? That's kind of cruel.

Has this happened to anyone else? I know you can't tell me why because you don't know and weren't there, but still. Boo. At this point, I just have an awful opinion of the girls involved in planning the COB event because of the way this all went down, and I don't want to. Any insight? (Oh, and thanks for letting me vent)

OK, correct me if I'm wrong, but the girls from your rho gamma group - who are very new pledges - are the ones who submitted your name for possible open bidding to the sorority.

Once the sorority checked out your stats, it may have been that you fell under their grade cutoff or other criteria needed to receive a bid. The girls who submitted your name have no way of knowing this because they just received their bids themselves.

Do I have this right?

Or did your rho gamma reveal herself, and this was concerning her sorority? Again, since she was not involved in rating and voting, she may not have been aware you were ineligible.

It is a kind of half assed way to plan an event, but they probably bit off more than they could chew. Just move on and get involved in other activities.

[texas*princess]

I have to agree that a number of things happened that might have been unintentional... someone might have accidentally left your name off the list of people to call... or maybe you were on the list, but the person who wrote/typed the info transposed the numbers and when they tried to call you they ended up with the wrong phone number.... and on and on and on.

And like others have said, you might have fallen below one of their requirements which is why they didn't call you to attend the event. Wouldn't you have felt awful if you showed up, fell in love with them, and then were told they couldn't extend a bid to you?

Instead of wasting your energy being upset about it, you should channel that energy into more positive things like finding other ways to get involved on campus. Good luck to you!

[txstategirl]

Thank you for the insight ladies, it made me feel much better.
I know I was being a little stupid and immature, but sometimes you just need to vent. I can see that I clearly had tunnel vision on this issue.
I am getting involved on campus and I'm meeting some great people. No matter how my recruitment story went, I'm determined not to be bitter about it. Maybe that's just how it's meant to be for me and I can only make the best of it. So that's what I'm going to do.

[annabella]

I feel better about the world and my generation when people come return to threads they start with perspective. Good luck in college, txstategirl.

[txstategirl]

Originally Posted by annabella

I feel better about the world and my generation when people come return to threads they start with perspective. Good luck in college, txstategirl.

Thank you.

[AnchorAlumna]

They may have had only 1 or 2 spots and already knew who they wanted.

[angels&angles]

I think the real lesson to take away from this, is that you shouldn't tell prospective COB girls that you're considering them. If txstategirl's friends hadn't told her that they were considering her, her feelings never would have been hurt. I'm sure they meant well, and they probably genuinely wanted her to join and for whatever reason, it didn't work out. But they probably should have checked before they told her. NMs, something to think about. (txstategirl, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck with the rest of college!)

[33girl]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

I think the real lesson to take away from this, is that you shouldn't tell prospective COB girls that you're considering them. If txstategirl's friends hadn't told her that they were considering her, her feelings never would have been hurt. I'm sure they meant well, and they probably genuinely wanted her to join and for whatever reason, it didn't work out. But they probably should have checked before they told her. NMs, something to think about. (txstategirl, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck with the rest of college!)

I kind of blame this on the sorority not STRESSING to the new pledges to keep their traps shut, if that is indeed where they got the names from. IMO they shouldn't be going to the pledges anyway, as the pledges know nothing about rating and voting and the standards the group has set. The rush chair should go straight to the Greek office and see who wasn't bid.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I kind of blame this on the sorority not STRESSING to the new pledges to keep their traps shut, if that is indeed where they got the names from. IMO they shouldn't be going to the pledges anyway, as the pledges know nothing about rating and voting and the standards the group has set. The rush chair should go straight to the Greek office and see who wasn't bid.

Exactly. If a PNM was cut during Formal Recruitment there may have been a reason and that hasn't changed in the few weeks between Recruitment and COB events. It could have been anything from grades to standards issues to "she's dating my ex boyfriend". Obivously the new members who just pledged have no idea what that reason might be.

So while it is good to ask new members to provide names of girls they know to be considered for a COB event invite, they need to know they shouldn't even be implying it's a guaranteed invitation.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Exactly. If a PNM was cut during Formal Recruitment there may have been a reason and that hasn't changed in the few weeks between Recruitment and COB events. It could have been anything from grades to standards issues to "she's dating my ex boyfriend". Obivously the new members who just pledged have no idea what that reason might be.

So while it is good to ask new members to provide names of girls they know to be considered for a COB event invite, they need to know they shouldn't even be implying it's a guaranteed invitation.

Very true. As has has been said before, NMs don't even know what goes into getting a bid. They could have mistakenly thought something like "if we invite her, she'll get a bid" which isn't the case.

At any rate, good luck with school and getting involved on campus!

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

They may have had only 1 or 2 spots and already knew who they wanted.

Then they shouldn't have sent her an email invitation. That is the bigger mistake, imo, than the pledges telling her they submitted her name for consideration.