local sorority disaffiliation; PLZ HELP :/

[jennamarie91]

SORRY FOR THE NOVEL:

Hi. I am a member of a local sorority at my school. I pledged last semester, and i am a freshman. The problem is, im quite unhappy in this organization. I thought that after pledging ended that i would begin to get along with my sisters, but that didnt happen. Not only was it quite obvious to me that i was unhappy, but even those around me could tell....even after pledging *they treat* me like crap...and its kind of sad....but it seems to be just me that this happens to. Of all my sisters, i could probably say that i get along OK that is -- with two. everyone else ignores me at meetings, and i can honestly say that the only times they reach out to me is when dues or other things need to be paid....this is obviously not the sorority i always dreamed about.....to tell you the truth, the only reason why i went thru with the pledging, was because i didnt want to look like a quiter, but the consequences that have come, are far worse that looking like a quiter.

so my question is, can i disaffiliate with the sorority, since they are not national? [its kind of obvious, i made a wrong choice, and rushed into things] and its not like im leaving for stupid reasons, when i came into the organization, i came in with hopes of sisterhood, and having people that i can trust and be close to....i have received none of that...so i think its because of legitimate reasons. WHAT SHOULD I DO??

also, in the process, i have became close to many other girls from other organizations that have seen what ive been put thru...one in particular, is a multicultural sorority, all with girls that i can connect with....is it possible to join a multicultural sorority if i leave the other 1?

Originally Posted by jennamarie91

SORRY FOR THE NOVEL:

Hi. I am a member of a local sorority at my school. I pledged last semester, and i am a freshman. The problem is, im quite unhappy in this organization. I thought that after pledging ended that i would begin to get along with my sisters, but that didnt happen. Not only was it quite obvious to me that i was unhappy, but even those around me could tell....even after pledging *they treat* me like crap...and its kind of sad....but it seems to be just me that this happens to. Of all my sisters, i could probably say that i get along OK that is -- with two. everyone else ignores me at meetings, and i can honestly say that the only times they reach out to me is when dues or other things need to be paid....this is obviously not the sorority i always dreamed about.....to tell you the truth, the only reason why i went thru with the pledging, was because i didnt want to look like a quiter, but the consequences that have come, are far worse that looking like a quiter.

so my question is, can i disaffiliate with the sorority, since they are not national? [its kind of obvious, i made a wrong choice, and rushed into things] and its not like im leaving for stupid reasons, when i came into the organization, i came in with hopes of sisterhood, and having people that i can trust and be close to....i have received none of that...so i think its because of legitimate reasons. WHAT SHOULD I DO??

also, in the process, i have became close to many other girls from other organizations that have seen what ive been put thru...one in particular, is a multicultural sorority, all with girls that i can connect with....is it possible to join a multicultural sorority if i leave the other 1?

If you're not happy with your group, by all means...LEAVE. Why stick around if you're not happy?

And as for you joining the other group, we on GreekChat can't say for sure because we don't know their membership policy. Some groups accept members who've terminated their membership with other groups....and some don't. FYI: disaffiliate =/= terminate.

Please don't ask us what you should do. Only you can make that decision yourself.

[apres_moi]

I think you would have to check your sorority's by laws to find out what you need to do to deactivate. The sorority you are interested in might have their own rules about whether or not a women who has been initiated into local can then initiate into their sorority. Since you have friends who know the rules or would know where to get them they would be fairly easy.
It sounds like though that even if you couldn't join the other sorority you would still want to leave the one you are in now. You should leave that one and then ask about membership in the one you are interested in.

[jennamarie91]

Originally Posted by OTW

If you're not happy with your group, by all means...LEAVE. Why stick around if you're not happy?

And as for you joining the other group, we on GreekChat can't say for sure because we don't know their membership policy. Some groups accept members who've terminated their membership with other groups....and some don't. FYI: disaffiliate =/= terminate.

Please don't ask us what you should do. Only you can make that decision yourself.

yes, i feel like that is the right thing to do, i feel so left out and lonely in my organization, that sometimes i forget that i am even in one. many of the girls in my sorority are very clique-y, & it is very hard to find a place for me in an organization like that. I AM A VERY FRIENDLY PERSON, many people find it weird that i am still not close to them.

But not to say its just me....because there is ALOT OF DRAMAAAA in this sorority. two sisters were about to FIGHT at a rushing event! now tell me, there isnt something wrong with that!!! no surprise there, we had no pledges this semester.......

[KSUViolet06]

This is a decision that only you can make.

Ask yourself: Would I regret leaving? Will I regret not being in a sorority?

In terms of cliques and drama though, I have to tell you that ANY group of women has this on SOME level. So don't think it is exclusive to your local sorority. Joining a different one will not automatically = a drama free experience.

[southernbell196]

I was in a similar position last year so first I want to say I'm sorry you had to go through this I know it isn't fun. Local sororities are different on each campus and the rules surrounding them are also different. I would go talk or email a person in your greek life (if you have one) or student life office they will know the rules of the different organizations. Because we don't know what campus your on we can't really help you with the rules more than that but please don't tell us, protect your privacy.

And yes you can quit, I can not tell you about joining a new sorority but you are defiantly allowed to quit. Just realize this could create even more drama from the sorority you are currently a member of (it did for me) and be able to deal with it, but it will fade away I promise. Hope everything works out for you and you eventually find the sisterhood you are looking for.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by southernbell196

Local sororities are different on each campus and the rules surrounding them are also different. I would go talk or email a person in your greek life (if you have one) or student life office they will know the rules of the different organizations. Because we don't know what campus your on we can't really help you with the rules more than that but please don't tell us, protect your privacy.

And yes you can quit, I can not tell you about joining a new sorority but you are defiantly allowed to quit.

Like you said, we have no idea what rules her local sorority has. I wouldn't be so quick to assert, then, that she is "defiantly allowed to quit." It's possible that the rules of her sorority do not allow her to quit.