:/

Meow124 · #1 02-09-2012, 08:23 PM

I rushed a sorority last week with one of my best friends and she didn't get in with me.

i took the bid anyway thinking it was what i wanted, but i have noticed that im really not getting along with the girls and that my reasons for rushing were pretty dumb. I wanted to meet more people, and i knew it looked good on my resume, but i also like their "themes" and such. i don't have a big yet, but I feel like a week isn't enough time to decide, but idk what to do. both of my best friends are doing a diff sorority and i don't want us growing apart. im just not really sure about this sorority for me and sometimes i feel it in my gut that it's not right.

FSUZeta · #2 02-09-2012, 08:31 PM

you are right. one week is not enough time base a decision on. would you get married after only knowing a guy for one week? give it more time.

you will only grow apart from your friends if you don't make the effort to remain friends. one of my best friends at my college was in a different sorority and we remained friends. my daughters best friend was in a different sorority than her, and they have remained friends. just like learning to feel comfortable and content in your sorority takes work and time, so does maintaining an established friendship.

33girl · #3 02-09-2012, 11:11 PM

If your friend is making you feel guilty that you got in and she didn't, she really isn't being a very good friend. Make an effort to stay close with her - but if she doesn't respond and keeps making the sorority an issue between the two of you, that is HER problem, not yours.

aephi alum · #4 02-10-2012, 12:17 AM

You are your own person, and you must make your own decision. Take a step back. Are you unhappy because you are uncomfortable with the sisters and the chapter, or because your friend didn't get in?

The new member period is a time during which you learn about your new sorority - including your soon-to-be-sisters and your pledge sisters. If you are uncomfortable, you can depledge before initiation. You're just one week in, so you have some time.

Also, there's no rule that says you can't stay friends with women in other sororities. So what if you're not in the same sorority? "No matter the letter, we're all greek together."

Meow124 · #5 02-10-2012, 12:19 AM

its nothing like that, shes fine with me getting in and shes even doing a different one! and she's so excited about it! i feel like my heart isn't in it because i dont see myself partying with most of these girls, or even really being friends with them. SOMETIMES i get a good feeling like this is something i want to do, but even then it's just to be able to say i'm in one. and after awhile my gut feeling comes back and i feel terrible. How do you know if youre in the right sorority because i feel like i'm not

knight_shadow · #6 02-10-2012, 01:03 AM

It's been one week.

Think about your best friends. Were y'all super close immediately? Obviously, no. It took time. You don't become instant friends with everyone just because you're in the same group. Take time to get to know the other members.

ASTalumna06 · #7 02-10-2012, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meow124

i took the bid anyway thinking it was what i wanted, but i have noticed that im really not getting along with the girls and that my reasons for rushing were pretty dumb. I wanted to meet more people, and i knew it looked good on my resume, but i also like their "themes" and such.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meow124

i feel like my heart isn't in it because i dont see myself partying with most of these girls, or even really being friends with them. SOMETIMES i get a good feeling like this is something i want to do, but even then it's just to be able to say i'm in one.

Based on some of these comments, I'm not sure you really understand what you've just been invited to join. Being a part of a sorority is so much more than letters on a shirt, a few lines on a resume, or having a place to party on Friday night. For some people, it takes more than a week to see that, as well as to make true friends.

Forget about what your friends are doing. If they're truly your friends, they'll continue to consider you one, regardless of which sorority you're a member of. And if you, on your own, decide that this chapter - or Greek life in general - isn't for you, then you can drop before initiation. However, I would suggest giving it some more time. The members of this sorority saw something in you that made them want to give you a bid. Give them a chance, the same way they gave you one.

etadrisophila · #8 02-10-2012, 02:26 PM

I am confused about your dilemma - perhaps you are as well. There are at least a couple of ways to interpret your messages:

1. you rushed for the wrong reasons, thus should you drop out of greek life permanently?
OR
2. your friends are in different sororities, thus you should de-pledge the sorority from whom you accepted a bid - hoping to join one or more of your friends in her sorority?

Think about those... what are you really saying?

Meow124 · #9 02-10-2012, 04:44 PM

I am confused.. I think I rushed for the wrong reasons, and I'm in the wrong one.. I am planning on staying in it for another couple weeks, but I don't want to start putting money into something I'm not sure of. It's like, I want to make friends, get involved, and be a part of something. But I do t want it to change my weekends, loose my friends or anything like that.. Does that make sence?
You guys are really helping me, so thank you for that

IrishLake · #10 02-10-2012, 04:47 PM

Well you had to have known that your weekends would change when going through rush, no matter what group you joined and who you joined it with. You'll only lose your old friends if you let something like belonging to different groups come between you.

knight_shadow · #11 02-10-2012, 05:09 PM

...
...
...

I think she's back

Meow124 · #12 02-10-2012, 06:26 PM

I mean I guess, I just don't like the guys they party with really. And my boyfriend is already in a frat so I like to do my own thing with him on the weekends.like I said , I'm not going to drop yet. I'm just constantly debating it in my head. When I feel like peoPle give Thier heart and soul to a sorority..

AGDee · #13 02-11-2012, 01:42 PM

You sound like you're looking for reasons to not be in a sorority. Which fraternities a sorority plans mixers with varies greatly sometimes and is a relatively minor part of being in a sorority. I barely went to mixers at all or went and stayed for a very short time. Not to mention, the boyfriend you're with now may not be the man you're with for a lifetime. Both of my serious boyfriends in college were in fraternities and they went to their mixers, I went to mine and we'd meet up after if we wanted to, usually at White Castle, where the whole greek system went after parties...lol. It isn't a huge deal.

You have until the minute before you're Initiated to make a decision. Give it time and try looking at the positives. You accepted a bid there for a reason. They gave you a bid for a reason.

ETA: A common phrase used during my new member period was "You get out of it what you put into it." I believe that pretty strongly. If you don't make an effort to give it your all, you won't get anything back. That's the way life is in general.

Meow124 · #14 02-13-2012, 01:43 AM

Okay, so I had my pinning tonight and im still very uncomfortable.. I'm scared because I'm going to be billed this week and it's due in 2 weeks but I don't want to start paying if I'm not sure of this. I really don't know what to do, myth often tells me something isnt right but idk what. :/

Meow124 · #15 02-13-2012, 02:42 AM

*my gut tells me. Not myth*