Ettiquette questions "is" or "was"

[Army Wife'79]

It's Sunday, so I have nothing better to do than read all the engagement announcements in my local paper. About 50% of them say "Suzy Smith is a graduate of Tech University where she WAS a member of XYZ sorority" and the other 50% say "Suzy Smith is a graduate of Tech University and she IS a member of XYZ sorority". Arent you a member for life so therefore "IS" would be proper? Your thoughts?

[libramunoz]

It depends on what you pledge to be honest. If you are with a BLGO, it's for life, but I don't think that it works that way with all sororities/fraternities.

[DrPhil]

As far as Divine 9 organizations, definitely "IS."

When many of us read or hear "was," our eyebrow is raised. What the heck does "was" mean? ha.

[libramunoz]

It simply means that you "were" there apparently and now you're NOT.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by libramunoz

It depends on what you pledge to be honest. If you are with a BLGO, it's for life, but I don't think that it works that way with all sororities/fraternities.

BGLO--have you introduced yourself to your frat or sorors in their GC forum yet?

BGLOs aren't the only organizations that consider membership for life, hence this non-NPHC poster making the statement and asking the question.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by libramunoz

It simply means that you "were" there apparently and now you're NOT.

That would work if it is talking about the university or the chapter. Not when you're talking about being a member of the organization.

[libramunoz]

O.K. you have proved your point! Fine, You win!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by libramunoz

O.K. you have proved your point! Fine, You win!

We needed this closure. Thanks, troll or sock puppet.

[Benzgirl]

Is and Is, but don't double-is it.
"Suzy Smith is a graduate of Tech University and a member of XYZ sorority"

[libramunoz]

Doc, Hate to tell you, you can call me what you want, but I happen to be neither.

[SWTXBelle]

The proper form for NPC sororities would be "is". However, many women, Greek and non-Greek alike, so closely associate membership with being an active in college that they slip and say "was". At my alumnae panhellenic, some women say "I was a ZXY" - but we try to subtly correct them.

To further complicate things, it would be correct to say "She was a XYZ at the University of Hotness" because you would be referring to a specific period of time in the past - so I WAS a Gamma Phi Beta at Texas State University in the 80s. I AM a Gamma Phi who is now active with the Houston Alumnae Group and Katy Panhellenic. Katy Panhellenic has many members who WERE members at many different colleges and universities.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

The proper form for NPC sororities would be "is". However, many women, Greek and non-Greek alike, so closely associate membership with being an active in college that they slip and say "was". At my alumnae panhellenic, some women say "I was a ZXY" - but we try to subtly correct them.

To further complicate things, it would be correct to say "She was a XYZ at the University of Hotness" because you would be referring to a specific period of time in the past - so I WAS a Gamma Phi Beta at Texas State University in the 80s. I AM a Gamma Phi who is now active with the Houston Alumnae Group and Katy Panhellenic. Katy Panhellenic has many members who WERE members at many different colleges and universities.

Yep.

And I think some of us are hesitant to use present tense when speaking to non-greeks for fear it looks like we're trying to hang on to our college days a little too much.

If a higher percentage of NPCers were more active in alumnae groups or if we had active grad chapters of alumnae initiates, I think "is" would more consistently be used.

[KSUViolet06]

The proper term is *is*. So I always say "I am a Sigma."

Originally Posted by libramunoz

It depends on what you pledge to be honest. If you are with a BLGO, it's for life, but I don't think that it works that way with all sororities/fraternities.

I'm trying to be nice, but I can't take it. You need to not make assumptions like that and stay in your lane.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That would work if it is talking about the university or the chapter. Not when you're talking about being a member of the organization.

Agreed here. I'm not going to say that I'm a Phi Mu from XYZ. That looks like I'm a 28 year old active sorority member. But if it's different context, I say "I am a Phi Mu".

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm trying to be nice, but I can't take it. You need to not make assumptions like that and stay in your lane.

Thank you!

[AGDee]

I say to people "I am still active with the sorority that I joined in college"