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05-04-2008, 07:03 PM
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Question About Recruitment
First off, I'm not referring to anyone or any group. I hope you all know me well enough to know that I'm asking this 100% out of curiosity.
There are many PNM's who are told to take out piercings, cover tattoos, if their dress style is a little different to try to be more conservative for rush, etc. I know many of us do the same, take out our piercings, etc.
I'm hoping that most of us wouldn't say "O, she has a ________ piercing/tattoo/hair color etc, I can't be friends with her!" so why does it make it any different for rush?
Now, I am in school in the NE, so maybe it's because I have a different view on things, but I wouldn't want a girl to change who she was for rush if it wasn't who she really was.
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05-04-2008, 07:15 PM
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Agreed, nobody should have to change for the sake of recruitment.
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05-04-2008, 07:49 PM
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I don't think people should change who they are for recruitment, but they need to be aware that appearance IS a part of recruitment (I don't care where you go to school) and as such, if things like piercings are not common among PNMs, those things could negatively affect the outcome of their recruitment.
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05-04-2008, 08:00 PM
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I would want to know that, as my future sister, a PNM would be able to put her best foot forward at functions and meetings and be able to represent my organization well with alumnae and in the Panhellenic society. This includes the superficial as well as the deep - many people don't like it, but this is life, and you are often judged in life by superficial qualities.
/my $0.02
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05-04-2008, 08:02 PM
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In my experience at UGA, I never heard of a PNM being asked to take our piercings, cover tattoos, etc.
However, girls who were MEMBERS were asked to remove tongue rings, cover tats, etc. I think it's understandable to ask a member to do so when we know that many PNMs will judge a sister for having these. But then, I only have a single hole in each ear and no tattoos whatsoever, so maybe I only feel that way because the rule never affected me.
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05-04-2008, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buttonz
. . .
There are many PNM's who are told to take out piercings, cover tattoos, if their dress style is a little different to try to be more conservative for rush, etc. I know many of us do the same, take out our piercings, etc.
I'm hoping that most of us wouldn't say "O, she has a ________ piercing/tattoo/hair color etc, I can't be friends with her!" so why does it make it any different for rush?
Now, I am in school in the NE, so maybe it's because I have a different view on things, but I wouldn't want a girl to change who she was for rush if it wasn't who she really was.
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Maybe sometimes (perhaps more so at age 17, 18, 19 than later in life) people forget that "who you are" -- core personality, values, character, etc. -- is one thing, while the fluctuation of fashion and fads -- tats, piercings, hair color, etc. -- can be quite another: something fleeting, maybe .
I don't feel that suggesting taking out a piercing for a few days is like asking someone to give up their deepest values. Frankly, if someone is really wondering whether a piercing, tat, hair color, etc. might "hurt" her, I think it could be sensible to give it up / cover it up for a few days. Why add to the stress of recruitment by having a constant nagging thought, "is this okay?" Make it easier on yourself!
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05-05-2008, 08:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dgdramadawg
In my experience at UGA, I never heard of a PNM being asked to take our piercings, cover tattoos, etc.
However, girls who were MEMBERS were asked to remove tongue rings, cover tats, etc. I think it's understandable to ask a member to do so when we know that many PNMs will judge a sister for having these. But then, I only have a single hole in each ear and no tattoos whatsoever, so maybe I only feel that way because the rule never affected me.
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With the discussions lately about PNM's having tattooes and piercings, we can't forget that PNM's also judge the members on appearance. Often in the crazy 15 minute 1st round of a competitive recruitment, appearance is the only thing a PNM remembers and uses to differentiate the different chapters. Nobody wants a PNM's only written note in her Rush Book to be "Tongue pierced! Ewww!"
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05-05-2008, 09:22 AM
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Like I said in the other post....at some schools rush is just getting to know people in a friendly environment....at other schools it is definitely more like an interview for a job in a business environment (where you would definitely take your piercings etc out). You just need to know what your school is like.
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05-05-2008, 12:15 PM
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I don't think anybody should have to change their appearance for recruitment. If a pnm doesn't want to join group xyz because one of the girls had a tongue ring then that chapter really shouldn't want someone that shallow to join their chapter. Vice Versa if a chapter doesn't like a pnm because she has a piercing then she probably shouldn't join that chapter anyway. I really don't see how a piercing that someone has affects the chapter in anyway you should accept her for who she is not who you want her to be. Being that superficial is what gives sororities a bad name.
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05-05-2008, 12:26 PM
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Where is that "beating a dead horse" icon?
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05-05-2008, 02:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by violetpretty
Where is that "beating a dead horse" icon?
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05-05-2008, 03:00 PM
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We were interviewing people for a position recently. One applicant was wearing appropriate clothes for the type of position but failed to wear dark hose or even trouser socks under her slacks. Needless to say, I could see her gigantic multicolor dragon tattoo extending from the exposed top of her foot past the hem of her pants. I'm glad there were 4 others involved in the interview , because I then kept looking for dark shadows under her sleeves. Yes, it distracted me that much.
I also become discombobulated when some young sales clerk has outlandish jewelry such as something in her nose or tongue. The tongue-piercers always have speech impediments. I'm not sure if that's a result of the piercing or if the piercing had improved the speech. You don't want to stare but then you lose your train of thought when making a conscious effort to ignore the item.
This does not happen when I encounter other people who may not look conventional. I routinely deal with soldiers with amputations, wound scars, burn scars. Even though these differences are much more obvious than facial jewelry, I have a much easier time ignoring it and not being flustered.
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05-05-2008, 06:43 PM
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I guess maybe I didn't explain myself clear enough in my first post....
I understand everything that has been said and I agree with it. However...telling a sister or a PNM to take it out JUST for rush and put it back in after to me is pointless.
If Suzy PMN doesn't want chapter ABC because Sister Jane has a nose ring. Jane takes it out for rush and puts it back in after. If PNM Suzy she gets a bid and accepts to ABC and then sees Jane with a nose ring, what is to stop her from dropping? And if she doesn't, who says she would have not wanted ABC based on that?
Same thing on the other side. If DEF doesn't want PNM Patty because Patty has a nose ring lets say. PNM Debbie has one but took it out for rush and puts it back in after. Now, we all know what I'm about to say isn't supposed to happen but it does. What stops DEF from making Debbie so miserable that she drops?
The way I look at it, if it has to be taken out for rush, it should have to be taken out. Period.
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05-05-2008, 07:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buttonz
I guess maybe I didn't explain myself clear enough in my first post....
I understand everything that has been said and I agree with it. However...telling a sister or a PNM to take it out JUST for rush and put it back in after to me is pointless.
If Suzy PMN doesn't want chapter ABC because Sister Jane has a nose ring. Jane takes it out for rush and puts it back in after. If PNM Suzy she gets a bid and accepts to ABC and then sees Jane with a nose ring, what is to stop her from dropping? And if she doesn't, who says she would have not wanted ABC based on that?
Same thing on the other side. If DEF doesn't want PNM Patty because Patty has a nose ring lets say. PNM Debbie has one but took it out for rush and puts it back in after. Now, we all know what I'm about to say isn't supposed to happen but it does. What stops DEF from making Debbie so miserable that she drops?
The way I look at it, if it has to be taken out for rush, it should have to be taken out. Period.
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I actually disagree. When we interview, rush, have important meetings or appointments, we want to put our best foot forward. I know that when I audition, I get a manicure/pedi, get my eyebrows done, do a full makeup, and wear put-together outfits. That isn't to say that I am a slob all the other times, but when I want to make a good impression, I want people to see me at my best. It's also about wearing what is appropriate for an event.
In my opinion, things like peircings and tatoos MAY distract people when you first meet them. What is the saying, that a person only has a few minutes to make a first impression? What is the first thing you want people to notice when you meet them? A nice smile, a strong handshake, a warm "hello".
It is human to base one's first impression on what one sees the first time they meet someone. If your personal decorations are distracting, tame them down. Once you are a member, or get the job, and know what the environment is like, you can adjust yourself. Simply scale back and be a little more conservative. It won't kill you, and it isn't selling yourself out.
It's not that you are hiding yourself at rush; it's that you are wearing what is appropriate. Here is an example outside of jewelry - If everyone is wearing heels and you walk in with black converse sneakers, you are screaming that you don't care about conformity of any kind. Let's face it - we have to conform everyday in many situations. You don't have to be a follower, but there is a level of decorum and respect in every social situation.
There will be many events in which you (as a member) would need to dress up, and if you demonstrate that you aren't willing to dress conservatively at your very first event, then that tells people that you don't care. Which is different than "being yourself" or "being a non-conformist".
If you have 7 ear piercings, why not wear just one or two studs? If you have green hair, wear it in a low-key style. You can show people shades of you without screaming "I AM DIFFERENT".
That's my opinion and I am from the northeast.
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