Assigning Bigs/Littles

[surferman2121]

Hey Guys,

I am a newly elected president of a colony and am wondering how your chapters work assigning big/little brothers (sisters). We've tried a few systems most are haphazard. We're a decent sized colony (45ish) and have a point system in place, I know some houses use this to rank prefs.

Thanks in advance!

[ufdale]

Each new sister ranks her favorite older sisters 1-10
Each older sister ranks her favorite new members 1-5

The new member educator pairs the two lists together, trying to pair each with their #1 choice.

[Drolefille]

What she said is a good idea.

At our chapter the new girls rate their top 3-5 and the VPNME makes sure each big is ok with that choice. It's always worked out ok.

Points could give the actives (or pledges/associates/etc) some sort of preference in case they both rate a guy as number one.

It also depends on whose opinion counts more, active or pledge.

[KSUViolet06]

Each new member ranks her top 5 choices.

Each active member ranks her top 5.

The VP attempts to match the lists as best as possible.

[DreamfulSpirit]

with us, we don't rank people because we don't know everyone yet. active sisters first tell the membership director if they would like to have a little. the membership director collects info about the pledges and those interested in getting a little. the membership director then tries, with the information given, to put together who would be best suited as big's and little's. at the first pledge meeting, the membership director will design a way or play a game that will in the end reveal the bigs and littles to each other.

when i pledged...we played this game where the membership director placed an index card on your back, and you had no idea what it said. so you had to ask people around you yes or no questions to figure out what it was. your word went together with a word on an active's back, and that's how you discovered who was your big/little. it was super cute! the next semester our membership director did a thing with song lyrics.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Each new member ranks her top 5 choices.

Each active member ranks her top 5.

The VP attempts to match the lists as best as possible.

I think this is the most equitable way to split everyone up. When you do the tabulating, get another officer or two to help, but do it behind closed doors or you will have people coming up and trying to argue that they should get their number 1 choice, changed their mind, messing up your papers, etc.

[SoCalGirl]

When I was a NM I didn't realize we were supposed to rank the names. I thought we were just supposed to submit 5 names. So while I liked my big, she was not my first choice.

[adpiucf]

Also, we gave priority to the most recent pledge class in terms of preference when assigning littles over, say, a senior. This worked well, b/c it meant that you got to be a Big Sister at least once, and it was an expectation that the sophomores would comprise most of the Big Sisters.*

*I avoided ADPi-terminology (Diamond Sisters) so as not to confuse.

[Starofsorrow]

The way it was done with our chapter (I was a recent pledge) was that the Pledgemaster would assign our bigs to us, and we wouldn't find out for a few weeks. We would have a week where we randomly got little gifts from our bigs to hint what family we were being inducted into, so we could play detective and figure out who our big was. =) It was tons of fun, and we had a scavenger hunt to find our bigs, and then ate out, and we got to confirm our suspictions on who our bigs were!

I'm not sure how they assigned our bigs to us. The important thing was, our bigs could NOT be people we already knew, so we were getting to know a whole new brother, and I think that helped out a lot, in closeness. Some of the littles/bigs got a GREAT relationship going on together. I became very good friends with a pledge class member, and it turns out that my big was her best friend! =) I'm still developing a good relationship with my big, but I already love her tons, so yay!

[IsobelS]

My chapter tried a lot of different things. We tried assigning littles, we tried doing the ranking system, and we tried letting the Bigs decide. Now that I am an alum and can look back, I think that they all had their flaws. The assignment system was the WORST because no one got who they really wanted and there was a lot of bickering and favoritism. It was just a mess! The ranking system was ok, but it always got messed up and someone always had their feelings hurt. And letting the Bigs decide wasn't always a good way of doing it either.

I think that now that I am kind of removed from it, it would be best to have some sort of anonymous application system where people are matched based on their interests and what they have in common.

[skylark]

Originally Posted by IsobelS

The assignment system was the WORST because no one got who they really wanted and there was a lot of bickering and favoritism. It was just a mess!

I totally agree. I was assigned a little that I couldn't stand and would have said something about it if I had been given the chance before it was already announced to the whole chapter. I could see the potential for personality conflicts the first time I hung out with her for more than five minutes. I "made nice" and took a deep breath every time she drove me nuts during her first year... but eventually I couldn't stand it, she did something really irresponsible and I refused to help cover up her mistake, and so we had a falling out. I'm sure it was confusing to her, because in her mind we were totally wonderful friends and then one day I just stopped being nice to her. In reality, I just stopped faking it for the sake of the big/little relationship. We never really were able to mend things, and it bothers me today that I was robbed of having a real big-little relationship. I think whatever system you have, the big should have a chance to veto the assignment, even if the bigs aren't allowed to specifically pick a particular person.

[Benzgirl]

In our chapter you first needed to seek out who wanted a little. It was somewhat of a time and financial commitment.
As an active, I remember ranking my top 3 (I got my #1 choice). But, I don't remember as a pledge ranking or asking for anyone. In fact, I really didn't know my big. That is not to say I didn't like her, because I did. We just didn't know each other very well and were not real close.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

In our chapter you first needed to seek out who wanted a little. It was somewhat of a time and financial commitment.
As an active, I remember ranking my top 3 (I got my #1 choice). But, I don't remember as a pledge ranking or asking for anyone. In fact, I really didn't know my big. That is not to say I didn't like her, because I did. We just didn't know each other very well and were not real close.

That's how we did it too. Most of the time, seniors preferred not to take on a daughter because of the time and financial commitment. If they did take a daughter, it was because there were more NMs than collegians to go around.

My sister-mom was a very good friend of mine even before joining the sorority, so it was only natural that she was to be my sister-mom. Still, I don't recall the collegians ever asking us who we wanted as our sister-moms at the beginning of the pledge period.

[RaggedyAnn]

I remember as a pledge we made a list every week of who our top five choices were for a big for our pledge masters. I think it just was a way for us to start thinking about it. After four or five weeks the sisters made their list and the match was made. Honestly, the sisters who made the attempts to be around the most, got chosen as big sisters. My husband's fraternity assigned littles, starting with seniors who didn't have bigs. I don't think there is a right or wrong way. We both have similar relationships with our bigs/littles currently.

[atomicflowers]

Each new member writes down her top 5 choices and then the potential big does the same, then we match them in the best way possible according to those lists