How would you handling seeing people who don't like you while rushing

I plan on rushing in the fall and I do not know who is in greek life, but i have a feeling I will see people already members in the sororities who went to my high school. I didn't have many friends in high school and a lot of people picked on me and didn't seem to like me and I would just give them attitude in response which of course made me look worse. However I have grown since high school and I hope they have done the same.

I want to make sure that me getting a bid isn't influenced from high school years and if I do get a bid that there isn't so much judgment and dislike as I become a member in the sorority from girls that may have known me and misjudged me back in high school.

In case this does happen how should I handle it and not make me feel discouraged into not rushing or pledging?

[33girl]

Here's my question. If your HS years were such hell, why on earth are you attending a college where lots of your former HS classmates attend?

Because I cannot afford out of state colleges. I don't know if I will see every single one because it is a decently big university, however I do know quite a few people who go there that went to my high school.

[33girl]

Because I cannot afford out of state colleges. I don't know if I will see every single one because it is a decently big university, however I do know quite a few people who go there that went to my high school.

You don't have to go out of state, just not to the "favorite" college of your HS. Every school has one, you just have to figure them out and stay away. If there's a state school system in place, pretty much all of them cost the same.

That being said, if it's a flagship university (like Penn State, Indiana University etc) it'll be huge enough that you may never run into ANYONE from your HS unless you or they make it a point to. At a huge school like that, it's doubtful that one girl in a sorority is going to say "oh well when we were in 7th grade this girl did blah blah" because she knows it'll make her sound like an ass. The same goes for a small school, for that matter. I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it.

Originally Posted by 33girl

You don't have to go out of state, just not to the "favorite" college of your HS. Every school has one, you just have to figure them out and stay away. If there's a state school system in place, pretty much all of them cost the same.

That being said, if it's a flagship university (like Penn State, Indiana University etc) it'll be huge enough that you may never run into ANYONE from your HS unless you or they make it a point to. At a huge school like that, it's doubtful that one girl in a sorority is going to say "oh well when we were in 7th grade this girl did blah blah" because she knows it'll make her sound like an ass. The same goes for a small school, for that matter. I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it.

I am already in my last 2 years of college so i'd rather not transfer anymore, but thank you. I just needed advice on how to handle it being where I am now. Transferring over and over won't help me overcome it because I know I will see and meet people that don't like me or that I don't like no matter where I go. And okay thank you for your advice! Hopefully all goes well

[justgo_withit]

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

[FSUZeta]

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

Very, very true. But she cannot undo the past, so she has to put on her best attitude and face the music.

[justgo_withit]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

You're definitely right, I guess I didn't convey that in what I said. If someone did something bad enough (I was exaggerating with the throwing rocks bit, but I meant "something really awful or scandalous") then a small group can keep someone out of a group, absolutely. But if it was just stupid high school stuff like "she was lame and I don't like her" then it's not the kiss of death, I would think. Though I did not go through a competitive recruitment, so perhaps it could be that way at other schools? I could incorrectly be assuming that doesn't need recs = not that cutthroat. I could also be underestimating the degree of hate between the OP and the actives, or the positions of the actives. If a girl actively hates you and she's the recruitment chair, that's a whole 'nother thing.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

Thank you for explaining that, that is exactly what i was worried about. I'm not as worried now reading some of the others' comments.

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

I understand where you are coming from, but the person who made the rude comment could have messaged me about the username instead of saying that, hence why i responded with the same level of respect that was received. And sorry that's not how i meant to come off. Like i said i just made up something to quickly be let in the forum. And thanks for your advice.I am glad you made friends with her.

[MST62]

I second 33's sentiments. However, if it's something you cannot change (it's the city college and you have to live at home, whatever), then you go through recruitment and be a nice and polite person. If you see them, you smile and say hi and be just as polite as you are to the ladies who don't know you. It's not that hard, and chances are, if they hated you that much they won't WANT to rush you.

[AXOrushadvisor]

My own personal opinion is that it WILL affect your recruitment. You just need to make sure you are making the best first impression both in your appearance and in your conversation. I would also make sure that you secure recommendations for every chapter on campus because that will SOMETIMES get you an invite back to round 2 with SOME chapters. A second look and more people who have gotten to know you can only help you in this situation. Good Luck!

Thank you! And i was told by someone who is in a sorority there that graduated that we do not need recommendations but she said she would talk to the main people that run recruitment there for me and said i had nothing to worry about as far as getting in. I hope she is right.

[SWTXBelle]

At the risk of being Debby Downer I need to say:

No, she is not right. If she is an alumna then all she can do is write you a recommendation and talk to actives. It is the ACTIVES alone who will decide on whether or not you are invited to parties or given a bid.

On the upside - unless you were actively involved in a negative relationship with members they will probably barely remember you. There's nothing you can do about the past - work on what you can do to present yourself in the best possible light now.