(and/or their mothers.)
Hey there, I'm very sorry about the fact that your recruitment experience didn't work out the way you wanted. The truth is, no one here will be able to tell you why it happened or what to do next.
If you were dropped from recruitment entirely, you're probably feeling pretty upset right now, especially as bid day comes around. It really sucks, right? There are no magic words to making you feel better, but allow me to make a few recommendations:
- Make friends with the other women on your floor who didn't participate in recruitment.
- Go to the student activity fair and sign up for anything that sounds interesting to you.
- Spend one night home moping, but after that, cut yourself off.
- If you are still interested in joining a sorority, look into registering for COB. Don't even think about next year's recruitment right now.
Welcome to adulthood and disappointment. It also really sucks, right? While there's nothing wrong with going through recruitment next year if you want, depending on your school your odds will be significantly lower than as a freshman. And think about it this way, would you want to hang out with someone who spent a whole year moping about not getting to hang out with you? Me neither. You will still have a fun four years at college with or without letters if you let yourself. I promise.
To those who dropped out of recruitment early (and/or their mothers):
Hey there, so you didn't like the chapters who were still on your recruitment schedule, or maybe you were so disappointed that you didn't get your favorite or legacy chapter or weren't with your friends anymore that you dropped out altogether. You might get yelled at on this site for that and that might just be making you feel all the more upset. There are two ways to break this down for you:
1. If all you (or your mothers posting on this site) could think about was that a bid was the most important part then the people yelling at you are right. You did something kind of dumb by dropping and losing all your chances.
2. If you wanted a bid with the chapter that fit with you, then you can understand that dropping might have been the right thing for you. Maybe you really didn't feel like those chapters were 'right' or 'fit' no matter how much those sentiments will get snarked. That's ok, it
is mutual selection after all.
Whichever path you took, you have to take a big step now. You have to let it go. Maybe you made a bad decision, maybe not, but the decision was made and now you live with the consequences. Isn't adulthood fun? There's no reset button now, and this is just preparing you for the rest of life. Like the other group of PNMs above, you too can try again, but remember, would you want to hang out with someone who spent a whole year moping about how she couldn't hang out with you? No. So get out there and enjoy college. Party, drink (but not too much), learn new things and find out you're an amazing rock climber/modern dancer/student politician.
And moms: let your daughters pick themselves up. You can't 'fix it', we can't 'fix it', only she can fix it by moving forward.
/tl;dr
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