Sad recruitment story

karmelgirl · #1 02-01-2010, 06:39 PM

I don't see any recruitment stories about rush not working out. Are they verbotten? This is a mom feeling really really bad for her wonderful daughter.

I need to share.

KSUViolet06 · #2 02-01-2010, 06:42 PM

I'm sorry to hear that.

Believe me, there are plenty of stories of recruitment not working out.

It's just that unless they're a retro thread (someone posting after the fact), they're not labeled as "my rush that didn't work out" because no one posts a live rush thread with the expectation that they'll go bidless.

There are also plently of sad mom stories too.

ETA: this thread:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=pain

33girl · #3 02-01-2010, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

I don't see any recruitment stories about rush not working out. Are they verbotten? This is a mom feeling really really bad for her wonderful daughter.

I need to share.

Did she get into the theater program?

Not saying this to be mean, seriously, but make sure that you aren't projecting your unhappiness onto her. That's the last thing she needs right now.

karmelgirl · #4 02-01-2010, 07:19 PM

Thank you Violet. My daughter could be the girl referenced in the link above. The total package, but from the north and going to a "sort of" southern school. Straight A's, very well dressed, articulate, very well liked in her dorm, outgoing, and I know for a fact she had great recs. I was Greek, so she was also a legacy at a top house.
She spent her winter break getting her wardrobe together, writing thank you's to the alums that wrote her recs...etc...

Round 1 15 houses - had fun, liked most

Round 2 cut by 2 houses, so she went to 8 of her top 10 and 2 from the bottom of her list. Pretty good so far.

Now it gets bad...round three, 6 possible houses... and she gets cut from 5 of her top 7, including her legacy house. That leaves 2 houses she loves, and three from the bottom of her list for a total of 5 parties.

Now it is the day to see where you are going for prefs. That morning, she finds out that she didn't make the cast in a campus production she had her heart set on, was totally invested in. It was a really really sad morning. At noon she gets her list. From the 5, the top 3 cut her. She was left with her bottom 2, they had been her bottom 2 all week.

All of her friends did fine. She decided not to go to prefs that night....so she dropped. Between not making the cast and getting cut from all but her bottom 2 houses this confident, beautfiul girl was too sad to make herself go. Who can blame her?

As her mother who is hours away, I am at a loss for what to do....and at a bigger loss to understand how this could have happened. I so want an explanation...was there a mistake of some kind? Who would not want this child?

Senusret I · #5 02-01-2010, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

As her mother who is hours away, I am at a loss for what to do....and at a bigger loss to understand how this could have happened. I so want an explanation...was there a mistake of some kind? Who would not want this child?

They were not looking for your child -- they were looking for their sister. Unfortunately, because she didn't stick with it, two chapters lost out on somebody they wanted to see just one more time.

What you can do as a parent is send her loving care packages with lots of chocolate chip cookies. If she doesn't like chocolate cookies, I'll be glad to take them.

But no seriously.... yeah, this sucks, but all either of you can do now is be sad for a few more days, then move on and find something else to fill that free time with.

Wow, I sounded like so legitimate.

baci · #6 02-01-2010, 07:32 PM

It appears that both of these paths were not meant for her to take at this time. Please give her all of the support that she needs right now, but I am sure you realize she will grow from these experiences. She will mature and find her way this year. It does not mean there won't be sisterhood in her future because it still may hapen. It just won't be at this time.

Senusret I · #7 02-01-2010, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

They were not looking for your child -- they were looking for their sister.

Helllooooooo this was awesome! Need acknowledgment here! Ugh! lol

DrPhil · #8 02-01-2010, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Helllooooooo this was awesome! Need acknowledgment here! Ugh! lol

Hello.

You're right. When people apply for membership and employment, the members and bosses/employers aren't looking for someone's child. LOL. That is, unless we're talking about nepotism.

Barbie's_Rush · #9 02-01-2010, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

so she was also a legacy at a top house.

See, you had me feeling badly for her and her awful day until I read that. It's pretty rare for women to go completely bidless, but that wasn't the case for your daughter. She had options, but from your own words above, I think there was a little bit of "not good enough for perfect princess" happening. Two chapters still wanted her. She chose to reject them.

One other thing to keep in mind. Deferred recruitment allows chapters to get a much better look at PNMs throughout their first semester. I know you don't want to think about it since she's your daughter and perfect in your eyes, but there may be some specific reasons your daughter wasn't considered for those "top houses."

KSUViolet06 · #10 02-01-2010, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

They were not looking for your child -- they were looking for their sister. Unfortunately, because she didn't stick with it, two chapters lost out on somebody they wanted to see just one more time.

Quoted for truth.

The chapters who dropped her didn't see her as a sister.

Someone obviously saw her as a potential sister because they asked her back for Pref round, but she didn't see them in the same way.

That is her prerogative, but certainly not a chapter's fault or something for which you are owed an explanation.

Senusret I · #11 02-01-2010, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Hello.

You're right. When people apply for membership and employment, the members and bosses/employers aren't looking for someone's child. LOL. That is, unless we're talking about nepotism.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Quoted for truth.

The chapters who dropped her didn't see her as a sister.

Someone obviously saw her as a potential sister because they asked her back for Pref round, but she didn't see them in the same way.

That is her prerogative, but certainly not a chapter's fault or something for which you are owed an explanation.

Thanks.