Advice for a second-timer

[WhySoSerious]

I wish I had found this site before I rushed last fall. You all seem to be so friendly and helpful and I was wondering if I could get some advice.

I did formal rush at my school last fall (rush is only moderately competitive-I don't know how the rest of you managed with such intense rush experiences!). I went in with not the best attitude about the whole thing as I was so intimidated by the whole process and not sure I wanted to join a sorority yet at all. The rush site said the first day was casual so I wore a t-shirt, a ponytail, and little makeup. I think in some way I was testing the sororities to see how superficial they were (I dress dressier than that normally) but needless to say I was underdressed compared to other PNM's... Anyway I went in doing all of the things this site has basically taught me not to do, saying I felt tired, overwhelmed, and not sure I wanted to join any sorority- generally not excited. I got asked back to about half and realized that I had been going about the whole thing the wrong way. I tried to correct my attitude for the next houses but the damage was already done as the ones I could see myself in had cut me. I stuck it out and joined the one I thought fit me the best to try it out.

The sorority ended up being the completely wrong match for me. I probably should have gotten the hint when all of our pledge gifts were various drinking paraphernalia with the letters on them. At our new member retreat the pledge class above us did their song and dance, which was, to put it lightly, lewd. "We rock the frat guys' fill-in-the-blank..." and other rude comments about other sororities. I could not see myself proudly introducing the girls to other friends. They weren't all like that but it was not for me. I de-pledged before initiation and had a wonderful rest of freshman year.

The idea of joining a sorority has still stuck with me as I really love the idea of it and I'm considering rushing again this fall. Several of my friends are in other sororities and I've realized I probably joined the most extreme on the "stereotypical sorority" scale at my school. My question is whether or not I can have realistic expectations about joining a sorority that already cut me? I have friends in a few different ones now and there's only a couple that don't generally take sophomores. But should I be expecting that my having rushed and pledged previously is going to negatively affect my chances? I can't imagine that they would just forget about it/not talk to my old sorority or anything. It's not like I left on bad terms but I don't think they would go on about how wonderful I was... Anyway I hope you can give me general advice as I don't know much about the other side of rush and what factors in. Any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks!