What happened?

[Lala9825]

I was rushing this year as a fresheman, and had some interesting results. I was very prepared going into rush with recs for every house, appropiate outfits, and conversations dos and donts. I went to all the houses with a positive attitude, and was smily, outgoing, interested in what was being said to me, and kept the conversation flowing. I went to all of the houses the first day, and thought I had great conversations with all of the houses, but i had an idea which two I wanted to cut. The next day my schedule said I had been cut from three of my top houses, and had to go back to my bottom two. The next day of rush I had the best natural conversations at 3 houses, only to find out the next day i got cut from all of my top choices except for one, and yet again had to go back to my bottom 2. Im all for giving sororities a chance. Any advice about what may have gone wrong?

[pinkadpimom]

Oh my gosh that is exactly what happened to my daughters. They both dropped out today after only getting asked back to their bottom 2. I originally told them that they should go to the one that was supposedly "Good" but they didn't feel like that house really wanted them at this point either. Probably because each time they thought they had a great conversation they were dropped again. They are both pretty, sweet and great girls and don't understand this process. I'm sorry that you had to go through this and wish I could explain it to you, but I don't get it either.

[EE-BO]

You will never know "what went wrong" at your top choices- and so people here will be even more at a loss to figure it out. Membership selection is never discussed publicly- which is for the better of the process at large, even though it can be difficult for individual candidates who do not get what they were hoping for.

Were you rushing at a competitive campus? If so, you could be an ideal candidate but just rushing against a huge field of others who are also very highly qualified. Getting cut during the various rounds is not necessarily a strike against you personally. I know that does not change the outcome, but hopefully it gives some comfort.

I will say this- if you really and truly are not happy with those "bottom two" houses- then do yourself and those sororities a favor and just drop. I do not know your reasons for calling them "bottom" houses- but whatever they are, please don't go there and take the place of someone who wants to be there just in the interests of going Greek at all costs.

From your post I get the sense recruitment is still ongoing for you. Keep your chin up and aim for any options you have left that appeal to you. I hope this helps and good luck.

[AlphaXi_Husky]

Originally Posted by Lala9825

I was rushing this year as a fresheman, and had some interesting results. I was very prepared going into rush with recs for every house, appropiate outfits, and conversations dos and donts. I went to all the houses with a positive attitude, and was smily, outgoing, interested in what was being said to me, and kept the conversation flowing. I went to all of the houses the first day, and thought I had great conversations with all of the houses, but i had an idea which two I wanted to cut. The next day my schedule said I had been cut from three of my top houses, and had to go back to my bottom two. The next day of rush I had the best natural conversations at 3 houses, only to find out the next day i got cut from all of my top choices except for one, and yet again had to go back to my bottom 2. Im all for giving sororities a chance, but I could NEVER see myself in the bottom two and would never wear my letters in public although I was still polite and friendly. Any advice about what may have gone wrong?

Nothing went wrong - it just turned out that the houses you preferred to go to didn't see in you what they were looking for. No one on GC is going to be able to tell you why that is because, as has often been said here, that's membership selection and it's private.

And how nice that you felt two organizations were so beneath you that you would never want to wear their letters in public if you joined. I'm sure they're glad they dodged a bullet by not having you in their NM class.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by Lala9825

Im all for giving sororities a chance, but I could NEVER see myself in the bottom two and would never wear my letters in public although I was still polite and friendly. Any advice about what may have gone wrong?

Maybe your top choices felt the same about you as you felt about your bottom two. Maybe they were being polite and friendly, but they could never see you wearing their letters in public. That won't change. Don't think that re-rushing will solve your problems. They already have voted on you once.

Your attitude, whether you think so or not, was probably very evident to everyone. It sure sounds high and might where those two bottom groups were concerned. Sounds like you should have been flattered that you were even considered by your bottom two, as you obviously were not wanted by anyone else. Seriously.

You may not like this answer. But, that's the way it is kid. I'm just glad you didn't accept a bid to one of those two groups only to drop them when you felt too "good" to grace them with your presence.

[SWTXBelle]

Here's a big secret about those letters you would be ashamed to wear - those letters are as impressive as the person who wears them. There is not a NPC member org who doesn't have a wonderful heritage, a promising future, and a present that is shaped by the current members.

I concur with my panhellenic sisters - I think your best bet now is to drop out of recruitment.

[amanda6035]

I cant believe PNMs...er, ex-PNMs, or whatever, can come in here and ask such as question with a crappy attitude, and honestly not know the answer to it....

As previously stated, your attitude online sucks, so it probably sucked, whether you meant for it to or not, at the recruitment parties as well.

If you wouldn't be proud to be a member, don't even finish recruitment. Don't take a spot from someone else who wants it, when it's obvious that you don't.

[uk2011]

Originally Posted by Lala9825

I was rushing this year as a fresheman, and had some interesting results. I was very prepared going into rush with recs for every house, appropiate outfits, and conversations dos and donts. I went to all the houses with a positive attitude, and was smily, outgoing, interested in what was being said to me, and kept the conversation flowing. I went to all of the houses the first day, and thought I had great conversations with all of the houses, but i had an idea which two I wanted to cut. The next day my schedule said I had been cut from three of my top houses, and had to go back to my bottom two. The next day of rush I had the best natural conversations at 3 houses, only to find out the next day i got cut from all of my top choices except for one, and yet again had to go back to my bottom 2. Im all for giving sororities a chance, but I could NEVER see myself in the bottom two and would never wear my letters in public although I was still polite and friendly. Any advice about what may have gone wrong?

So I know that a lot of people are going to beat you up on this, but I completely understand. I got cut from two houses where I really felt at ease and the girls kept telling me how much they wanted to see me back the next day. When I got my schedule the next day, I saw that they had both cut me, and that I was going back to a house where I sat in awkward silence for 45 minutes. I didn't feel comfortable there at all, and the girls that I talked to acted like they were bored out of their mind.

I was completely shocked at the way it turned out, because it just seemed so random. I still don't know what happened, but on Pref night, I went back to another house I initially didn't really care for, and the girls were wonderful. I didn't end up joining that house, but I gained a newfound appreciation for them. I do love where I ended up but what was so hard for me was that the girls in the first two houses seemed so fake and I couldn't understand why they were telling me they loved me and hoped to see me back and then they cut me. I guess I'll never know.

So do what feels right to you, if you're still going through. I just accepted my Bid today, so I am completely new to all of this. But I did want to say that I understand, and I know what you mean.

[AlphaXi_Husky]

Yes, if you are still in Recruitment, please don't do these two "bottom" chapters a "favor" by returning to their parties. And while I would normally not advocate this, if those are your last choices, just drop out.

Sidenote - Tippiechick, can I please be in your location?

[AlphaXi_Husky]

Originally Posted by uk2011

I couldn't understand why they were telling me they loved me and hoped to see me back and then they cut me. I guess I'll never know.

It could be that the girls you were talking to really did want you, just not as bad as others in the chapter wanted different PNMs. It is tough because you're right, you will never know (and I don't mean that in a snarky way).

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by uk2011

So I know that a lot of people are going to beat you up on this, but I completely understand. I got cut from two houses where I really felt at ease and the girls kept telling me how much they wanted to see me back the next day. When I got my schedule the next day, I saw that they had both cut me, and that I was going back to a house where I sat in awkward silence for 45 minutes. I didn't feel comfortable there at all, and the girls that I talked to acted like they were bored out of their mind.

I was completely shocked at the way it turned out, because it just seemed so random. I still don't know what happened, but on Pref night, I went back to another house I initially didn't really care for, and the girls were wonderful. I didn't end up joining that house, but I gained a newfound appreciation for them. I do love where I ended up but what was so hard for me was that the girls in the first two houses seemed so fake and I couldn't understand why they were telling me they loved me and hoped to see me back and then they cut me. I guess I'll never know.

So do what feels right to you, if you're still going through. I just accepted my Bid today, so I am completely new to all of this. But I did want to say that I understand, and I know what you mean.

I think 99% of us understand, as we have all gone through rush. Most of us have had a similar experience. But, few of us thought we were too good to wear a group's letters... It's all in the attitude.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by AlphaXi_Husky

Yes, if you are still in Recruitment, please don't do these two "bottom" chapters a "favor" by returning to their parties. And while I would normally not advocate this, if those are your last choices, just drop out.

Sidenote - Tippiechick, can I please be in your location?

Ahh, someone finally recognized my location! No. He's all mine. You can have Long Duck Dong, Anthony Michael Hall, or John Cusack.

[AlphaXi_Husky]

Well, the Donger does need food...

[smiley21]

Originally Posted by uk2011

So I know that a lot of people are going to beat you up on this, but I completely understand. I got cut from two houses where I really felt at ease and the girls kept telling me how much they wanted to see me back the next day. When I got my schedule the next day, I saw that they had both cut me, and that I was going back to a house where I sat in awkward silence for 45 minutes. I didn't feel comfortable there at all, and the girls that I talked to acted like they were bored out of their mind.

I was completely shocked at the way it turned out, because it just seemed so random. I still don't know what happened, but on Pref night, I went back to another house I initially didn't really care for, and the girls were wonderful. I didn't end up joining that house, but I gained a newfound appreciation for them. I do love where I ended up but what was so hard for me was that the girls in the first two houses seemed so fake and I couldn't understand why they were telling me they loved me and hoped to see me back and then they cut me. I guess I'll never know.

Just because a sorority, who loved and wanted to see you come back, ended up cutting you does not mean they were fake. While I do not know their reason for doing so, I do know that sororities have many new girls they would love to see join them. Still, they cannot invite every single one of them. It is not possible for them to accept every girl that they want. Sororities can only take a certain number of girls.

To the original poster, don't expect things to change if you go through recruitment again with an attitude like that.

[uk2011]

Originally Posted by smiley21

Just because a sorority, who loved and wanted to see you come back, ended up cutting you does not mean they were fake. While I do not know their reason for doing so, I do know that sororities have many new girls they would love to see join them. Still, they cannot invite every single one of them. It is not possible for them to accept every girl that they want. Sororities can only take a certain number of girls.

I guess that's just a difference in opinion. If a girl tells me she loves me and wants to see me come back, and then cuts me, then of course I'm going to think thats fake. Emphasis on the telling me she wants me to come back. I'm sorry you think that's so wrong.

I think the original poster's attitude is pretty average. Did you not prefer some houses over others when you went through Recruitment? I can't imagine anyone NOT having a bottom two sororities on their list. If I fell in love with one sorority, it would be hard for me to wear another groups letters with pride. I agree that if you can't do that, then you're better off not joining.

I'm just saying that I understand what this girl feels like. Maybe because I'm fresh off an emotional recruitment week, too.