perplexing situation

pinklion10 · #1 02-15-2008, 03:53 PM

So, there's a girl who always shows up to our recruitment events and has been since last year (when we were both freshmen.) She went through formal rush with me last spring, was given a bid to a house, and denied it because she was not interested. As COB chair this past fall, I extended her an invitation to our chapter's formal desserts (as she had attended some rec. events this fall), and she denied the invitation because she wasn't interested. After not going through formal rush this past weekend, she has been coming to every one of the COB events we've had in the past week, but she said she's not interested in actually joining.

While the girls in the house (and I as well) love the girl, it's a little frustrating that she continually shows up for recruitment events but is still not interested. I would not feel right persuading the recruitment committee to block her from coming to things, but if you're not interested, why come to recruitment events?

Has this happened to any of your chapters/what would your chapter do?

skylark · #2 02-15-2008, 03:59 PM

Step One: Start making your COB events invite only.

It makes the real PNMs feel a more personal connection to the event, gives you a better way to assess the number of potential attendees in advance for food budgeting reasons, and it gets rid of your moocher problem.

AlethiaSi · #3 02-15-2008, 04:06 PM

Call me crazy, but I don't understand how someone could go to an event, openly admit that they don't want to join, and eat the food and hang out... if you want to hang out, do it in your own time, not during COB...

I just don't get it.

It takes all kinds....

pinklion10 · #4 02-15-2008, 04:09 PM

She apparently wants to 'spend time' with us, but it's gotten to the point where she is the only PNM at things. So in short, we do the work, buy the stuff, and do the PR so she will come... and not join.

Bizarre.

fantASTic · #5 02-15-2008, 04:20 PM

Stop telling her when events are. Problem solved.

pinklion10 · #6 02-15-2008, 04:23 PM

The campus is small, and in order to get people, we have to PR, so it's public knowledge. I doubt the recruitment committee will agree to invite-only events... we really can't afford to be so exclusive with our numbers, unfortunately.

33girl · #7 02-15-2008, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

She apparently wants to 'spend time' with us, but it's gotten to the point where she is the only PNM at things. So in short, we do the work, buy the stuff, and do the PR so she will come... and not join.

Bizarre.

I think your issue is more that you're only having 1 person show up to COB events.

She might really not be interested, or she might be slow to warm up to the idea of joining. It's hard to tell not knowing her personally. If you or someone else feel comfortable enough with her, I would sit her down and ask her what her intentions are.

33girl · #8 02-15-2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

The campus is small, and in order to get people, we have to PR, so it's public knowledge. I doubt the recruitment committee will agree to invite-only events... we really can't afford to be so exclusive with our numbers, unfortunately.

No. No. No. No. No.

Invite only events are the ONLY things you should be doing in your situation, unless you want Sleazy Sandra, B.O. Betty and Dumbass Debbie walking in your door.

skylark · #9 02-15-2008, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinklion10

The campus is small, and in order to get people, we have to PR, so it's public knowledge. I doubt the recruitment committee will agree to invite-only events... we really can't afford to be so exclusive with our numbers, unfortunately.

See, your thinking is totally backwards on this point. Ask yourselves (literally, ask the chapter) how/why you joined. How many came to an event because they saw a flyer (without already knowing a member who could have personally extended the invite)? That is how you get it past the recruitment committee too. Why would you keep doing something that obviously hasn't been working? Ask yourself if every time you blast campus-wide invites that helps your chapter's image that you yourself described as needing a little oomph.

It isn't about being exclusive with numbers. It makes the PNMs you do invite feel special (like they are NOT just a number to you) which will make them more likely to come than if they saw that every girl on campus could come (and PNMs impliedly think that this means every girl on campus could join, even if it isn't true).

I know that this probably sounds counterintuitive, but you said yourself that often Ms. Mooch is the only one at these events. It doesn't look like the status quo is working, so why not give it a try?

nittanyalum · #10 02-15-2008, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sleazy Sandra, B.O. Betty and Dumbass Debbie

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLL!!!!!

Zeta13Girl · #11 02-15-2008, 05:35 PM

First off your getting yourself into trouble calling her a pnm. She is not interested in joining a sorority so she is not a pnm. Second I know you are trying to be nice but sometimes being blunt is the only way people understand things. Next time she comes to an event pull her outside, so it doesnt create a scene with the pnms that really did show up for rush and tell her that you are sorry, but recruitment parties are for ladies interested in joining the sorority only. Tell her that your sisters would be more than glad to hang out with her this is just not the time or the place to do it.

skylark · #12 02-15-2008, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeta13Girl

First off your getting yourself into trouble calling her a pnm. She is not interested in joining a sorority so she is not a pnm. Second I know you are trying to be nice but sometimes being blunt is the only way people understand things. Next time she comes to an event pull her outside, so it doesnt create a scene with the pnms that really did show up for rush and tell her that you are sorry, but recruitment parties are for ladies interested in joining the sorority only. Tell her that your sisters would be more than glad to hang out with her this is just not the time or the place to do it.

I personally could see this approach backfiring on a small campus. Even if it doesn't end up being a scene at the COB party, this sort of thing has a high probability of becoming gossip by way of the moochy girl herself in retaliation. Once it gets around the campus gossip channels (ever played telephone?), it could easily become a source of even more negative PR for the sorority.

33girl · #13 02-15-2008, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skylark

I personally could see this approach backfiring on a small campus. Even if it doesn't end up being a scene at the COB party, this sort of thing has a high probability of becoming gossip by way of the moochy girl herself in retaliation. Once it gets around the campus gossip channels (ever played telephone?), it could easily become a source of even more negative PR for the sorority.

If she's as socially backward as she appears to be (i.e. not understanding the point of a COB party) I'm thinking her opinion might not carry a lot of weight on campus.

To the OP: have you ever actually given her a bid? If so, did she turn it down?

This is indeed a weird situation. I mean, I understand guys showing up to wet rush parties and having no interest in pledging. That makes sense because there is free beer. This on the other hand...I mean, rush parties are fun, but honestly, they're not THAT fun.

skylark · #14 02-15-2008, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

This on the other hand...I mean, rush parties are fun, but honestly, they're not THAT fun.

LOL. No kidding. Or maybe the OP's rush parties really ARE that fun?

bluefish81 · #15 02-16-2008, 03:30 PM

I agree that you need to go invite only. I realize that you have a small campus, (I used to advise a chapter there) but clearly your current method of publicizing the event isn't working. Perhaps invite only the PNMs that you actually want there would yield results. I belonged to a struggling chapter in college, our COB events were always invitation only events - whether it was phone call or actual invitiation.