Settling for acceptance or Striving for it

[Lucky SC]

this ones for the guys...



would you rather join the fraternity that you think you originally would fit in better with and would love to have you or would you rather join the fraternity where you would have to work hard for a reputation and not be accepted off the bat.

in essence, would you rather be a small fish in a big pond... or a big fish in a small pond

[BabyPiNK_FL]

sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name; and they're all so glad you came...problem solved. oops...well i'm a girl. sorry about that but i hoped that i helped. i can testify that when i went through recruitment i definitely went to a chapter that was glad to have me and vice versa. i didn't want to have to jump through hoops to please anyone, i wanted a place to be myself.

[Tom Earp]

I am not sure this will be an answer to your post but here goes.

I pledged a local as I was interested in building something young and new. They then affiliated with a big National and the whole attitude changed. I left the fraternity for various reasons.

The fallowing fall semester, I started a local. We built a strong local and the following semester, we affiliated with LXA. While it may not have been my first choice, it became the best.

So, I guess the simpilest answer was wanting to be in just something new and helping to build it into something bigger and stronger. Now 43 years later, I have many friendships that have lasted over the many years and that makes it all worth while!

[Lucky SC]

Originally Posted by SECdomination

After being very involved in high school, I joined a fraternity with an excellent campus reputation, which was full of very successful members. It's a truely great feeling to be associated with these gentlemen, but my first couple semesters were rough. I wanted to be as involved with the fraternity as I was with my high school. But so did every other brother.

My chapter picks a few guys from each pledge class to groom into campus and chapter leaders. I wasn't one of them, and now, as a second semester junior, I've passed my prime for most in-house positions. It can be very disheartening to think that a comittee chair position I want will probably go to someone younger who is being prepped for a higher office, but that's how it is. I've been playing second fiddle ever since I joined. Actually, maybe third or fourth fiddle.

HOWEVER, I've landed two big campus positions that I wanted very much because they are "legacies" to my chapter.

Overall, I'm having an EXCELLENT fraternity experience. I just wish that everything in my chapter didn't always revolve around politics. So, as Corey Smith would say, If I could do it again, I'd do it the same. I'm enjoying not having as much responsibility enough to outweigh my disappointment.

you a Georgia Bulldawg?

i'm thinking heavily about transferring there next year, born and raised in marietta

[knight_shadow]

In my case, I'm a big fish in a "medium" pond, and I've enjoyed it. Because we aren't TOO large, I was able to become involved with the chapter right off the bat. I worked my way up quickly and eventually became involved with several on campus organizations, and with my org's National and Regional boards. I've also initiated several changes to policies and procedures that are still in effect, so I'm happy to have had the opportunity to do that.

I've met people who are in "big pond" chapters who can't recall names of other people in their own chapter. That's crazy to me; I don't know if I could deal with not knowing my own brothers. The only thing that I would enjoy about "big pond" chapters would be having more manpower for big scale events.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

The only thing that I would enjoy about "big pond" chapters would be having more manpower for big scale events.

One would think, wouldn't one?

[carnation]

Wow. This topic is really something to think about.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

One would think, wouldn't one?

Purely based on observation, of course. Since I'm not in a "big pond" chapter, I don't know all of the associated benefits. This is just the only thing I could think of. I probably should have been more clear in that paragraph.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by carnation

Wow. This topic is really something to think about.

I agree. I am still not sure how I want to respond.

Focusing on size alone -- sometimes the bigger fraternities are viewed more favorably. Alpha, for example, is bigger and older than the rest of the black fraternities. Because we're older, we're bigger. Because we're older, we expanded to more places sooner. Even today, I will meet a "white" Greek and be pleasantly surprised that they've heard of Alpha Phi Alpha.

(I say "white" because that has been the race of the NPC and NIC members that I usually meet.)

Would I be happy in a fraternity with less prestige than Alpha? Sure! but I'd be lying if I said prestige had nothing to do with what interested me in the fraternity.


My personality is sorta....I dunno.... I jumped into leadership positions in my chapter rather quickly. Even though I went inactive for a few years, it took only a few months for the brothers to sorta "decide" I would take over the website (when I became active again). I'm one of those natural leaders, or better yet, a natural organizer.

Saying all that to say I probably joined the type of fraternity (chapter) where I had to work hard for a reputation rather than a chapter that was all gung ho rah rah brotherhood.

But it's an NPHC fraternity anyway, so that probably throws a monkey wrench in this whole conversation.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Purely based on observation, of course. Since I'm not in a "big pond" chapter, I don't know all of the associated benefits. This is just the only thing I could think of. I probably should have been more clear in that paragraph.

I wasn't picking on you, I was just saying how even big chapters have people who work and people who don't. Trust, the same five that are workers in your frat are the same five who work in mine, lol

Five PEOPLE, not five percent. lmao

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I wasn't picking on you, I was just saying how even big chapters have people who work and people who don't. Trust, the same five that are workers in your frat are the same five who work in mine, lol

Five PEOPLE, not five percent. lmao

Gotcha. Right after I posted my comment, I re-read yours and figured that's what you meant.

[Lucky SC]

Originally Posted by carnation

Wow. This topic is really something to think about.

lol glad i could spark some thought in the gc community.

i wonder because its something i am dealing with now and wondered how other people decided, i think both would work out in the end... just wondering how others preconcieved notions turned out to be on their actual experience.

its more of a thing on local chapter reputation when i compare "the size of each's pond"... because each fraternity is a top 5 in national size, but differ in local image, although the guys from my experience atleast surprisingly seem somewhat similar.

very interesting points though, but sensuriet (spelling? sorry) your situation def does not differ from this one, good contribution.