Adoption - is it for you?

SummerChild · #1 06-30-2007, 04:14 PM

Ok Ladies, at the risk of one of our Soror Moderators

combining this with the artificial fertilization thread, which may be seen as somewhat related, I'll ask another question.

Would you adopt?

Many talk about how single women are getting older without getting married in today's world. Is adoption an option to remedy the biological clock concern and/or the desire to have a family? Would you feel that you have the financial, mental and support resources (and whatever other resources are needed to raise a child) to adopt?

Does anyone know about the process for those who may be interested?

If anyone who is adopted would like to share their experiences with growing up with an adopted family, please do.

Do adoption agencies look down on women (or men) w/out marriage partners?

ladygreek · #2 06-30-2007, 04:23 PM

I'd like to add another question:
If you would adopt would you only look at babies or toddlers, or would you consider an older child?

pinkies up · #3 06-30-2007, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I'd like to add another question:
If you would adopt would you only look at babies or toddlers, or would you consider an older child?

You know, I have four children and because of medical reasons, I cannot have any more. I would consider adopting an older child. I have done the babies and while I enjoyed it, I don't think I'd like to go through the feedings and the toilet trainings again. I have prayed that if God saw fit that he would allow my husband and I a chance to adopt.

Marie · #4 06-30-2007, 05:22 PM

Hmmm, right now I think that I would only adopt if I was unable to have children of my own. Aside from the fact that I want to experience pregnancy as well as nuturing and developing a life that you have created with someone that you love, I am a little disuaded by some of the costs. I was doing a bit of research awhile back, and I believe that the adoption costs were similar to the costs of delivering a child in the hospital w/o the assistance of insurance. For me that makes it kind of a last resort option.

However, who knows what the future may hold. I definitely want to be a mom, so if I found myself single later in life, then I might go for it. Also, I can understand and appreciate the need for individuals willing to adopt, so I might be compelled at some point.

ETA: I haven't read the IVF thread, but I would adopt before going through some of the extreme processes associated with IVF. Thinking of someone like..Charlotte (i think) on Sex and the City...I would rather adopt than go through some of the pain and disappointment that she experienced trying to conceive.

dzdst796 · #5 06-30-2007, 06:05 PM

My husband and I just finalized the adoption of our precious son in June. The decision about adoption was not an easy one, but after exhausting all other possibilites this was our best choice. We had discussed adoption prior to getting married so this was always an option that we strongly considered.

We started our process in April of 2005. The paperwork process is grueling. It takes a great deal of time and if you are married you will definitely find out the kind of mate you have and if you are single you will have to do a great deal of soulsearching. The social worker came to the house three times, we had counseling sessions at the agency. We actually completed our paperwork in November of 2005. We received a phone call the day before my 40th birthday informing us that a birth mother had chosen us to adopt her newborn son. Troy came home with us on February 7th, 2006 at 5wks old.

The cost of this was minimal if you are considering invitro. One cycle of invitro can cost anywhere from 10-25K and with this you are not positive that you will get pregnant.

I will say this, you have to decide if you want to be pregnant or you want to be a parent. Fortunately for us we have had tremendous support from our family and friends, but in the end it is you who has to be ready to take on this responsibility.

If anyone wants to talk to me you are more than welcome to PM me and we can exchange numbers.

LikeASista · #6 06-30-2007, 08:15 PM

Hm. Interesting question(s). I've had to think long and hard about this one because, for starters, I always wanted to have a family once I got a certain age. I've even held off on experimenting with the ways of carnal desires for the sake of "doing it right." But the sacrifice has left me at alone at soon-to-be-35-years-old, and now, the prospect of ever getting married seems more farfetched than ever. So, adopting a child would not only fulfill a long-time desire of mine to have children, but it would also give a home to a child who does not have one. So, yes, I'd say adoption is certainly an option I would consider.

carnation · #7 06-30-2007, 10:59 PM

Five of our 13 children are adopted. I would certainly do it again if I could--as a matter of fact, we hope to!

mystikchick · #8 07-01-2007, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

Five of our 13 children are adopted. I would certainly do it again if I could--as a matter of fact, we hope to!

/hijack
So we can count on being supplied with yet more recruitment stories from the Carnation nation for years to come, right?

/end hijack

I'm not certain. I'm a long way off from thinking about kids, but I think I'd want to have my own first, and then maybe adopt. If there were problems though, I think I'd rather adopt a child, specifically a baby girl from India. Why? Because baby girls who are put up for adoption in India aren't wanted generally, and they're abandoned by their mothers. At this point in time, my mentality is "why invest the money in trying to have kids in a method that isn't a guaranteed success when there are so many children out there waiting for a loving home?" India because I'm Indian.

Many of my teachers in HS adopted girls while they were in India - my choir teacher, my biology teacher and his wife adopted two, the vice principal and his wife adopted one, and a Mormon family had one girl from India and two boys from Cambodia. Two of my cousins are adopted, and so is my godmother's son, so I've been exposed to it, which I think makes me more receptive to the idea.

SKEEphistAKAte · #9 07-01-2007, 02:25 PM

Adoption is definitely in my plans for the future. I would like to go against the grain, and skip the babies and adopt an older child. I plan to adopt a black child, at least 4 years or older. And if I were in the financial position to adopt multiple children at once (i.e. 3 sisters and brothers) in order to keep siblings together, I would love to do that as well.

Confucius · #10 07-01-2007, 02:31 PM

Great Thread

I would be more than willing to adopt.

I haven't thought about an age but either a new born or over two years old would be great as well.

dzdst....thanks for sharing your experience.

LikeASista.....I feel you, I will be 30 next year and I know that I will have problems plus I am not financially or "relationship" ready at the moment. So, I know it will be a while.