Depledging (HELP!!)

[nymbels]

I got a bid from a sorority that was at the absolute bottom of my list. It sort of has a bad reputation (that wasn't the reason why I didn't like it!) but I accepted my bid anyways to try it out. I stayed in it for two months and knew that I definitely didn't like it. It just didn't seem like a sorority to me (the girls were really shy and there was only one social a month!!). When I was depledging I had to sign a paper saying that I couldn't ever join a sorority again. Is this true? However, I have heard that I have to wait a year before I can rush again. Can anyone clear this up for me?

Originally Posted by nymbels

I got a bid from a sorority that was at the absolute bottom of my list. It sort of has a bad reputation (that wasn't the reason why I didn't like it!) but I accepted my bid anyways to try it out. I stayed in it for two months and knew that I definitely didn't like it. It just didn't seem like a sorority to me (the girls were really shy and there was only one social a month!!). When I was depledging I had to sign a paper saying that I couldn't ever join a sorority again. Is this true? However, I have heard that I have to wait a year before I can rush again. Can anyone clear this up for me?

I'm going to assume that you pledged an NPC sorority.

If you are initiated into an NPC sorority, then no, you may not ever join another NPC sorority again. It's a unanimous agreement all 26 NPCs follow.

However, if you did not initiate, you must wait another year before you can go through recruitment again. Whether or you receive a bid or not -- well, that's for the sororities on your campus to decide.

[KSUViolet06]

Were you initiated by the sorority? If you are intiated and you leave, then you cannot rush again.

If you depledged BEFORE initiation, you must wait ONE YEAR to rush again. The paper you signed was probably just to make sure that you understood that you had to wait a year.

[AlphaFrog]

If she was in for two months, that's more than most groups' standard nm period - so she's probably initiated. If so, you have options of joining a local, a professional or a service sorority, but not another NPC.

[nymbels]

Actually I wasn't initiated. The sorority I was in waits a little over 2 months because they never fill all of their open spots through formal rush. I was never initiated. I am glad to hear that I can rush again. Though I don't know what I will do when I have to go back to that sorority through formal rush. (My school forces you to go to all sororities) Thanks for the help!!

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by nymbels

Actually I wasn't initiated. The sorority I was in waits a little over 2 months because they never fill all of their open spots through formal rush. I was never initiated. I am glad to hear that I can rush again. Though I don't know what I will do when I have to go back to that sorority through formal rush. (My school forces you to go to all sororities) Thanks for the help!!

You will just have to be polite and bear it until they drop you, and they will be forced to be polite to you.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by nymbels

Actually I wasn't initiated. The sorority I was in waits a little over 2 months because they never fill all of their open spots through formal rush. I was never initiated. I am glad to hear that I can rush again. Though I don't know what I will do when I have to go back to that sorority through formal rush. (My school forces you to go to all sororities) Thanks for the help!!

As long as you are courteous, respectful, and polite when you leave the chapter, they should extend the same treatment to you when you go through recruitment again.

I had a pledge sister drop out, and then go through formal recruitment again the following fall. Of course, she had to attend a party at our house during round one as part of formal recruitment. It was mildly awkward, but not what I would call terrible. When she and I spoke at the recruitment party, I simply made small talk asking how her summer was, how school was going, etc. Then I wished her good luck with the rest of recruitment.

No one should be outwardly unpleasant to you while you're at the recruitment party, because they certainly wouldn't want other PNM's picking up on that negative vibe.

As I mentioned above, you should be courteous, polite, and respectful when you go through the de-pledging process. Not only will this make things less awkward when you have to attend that first round recruitment party, but it will also preserve your chances for joining other groups. Bear in mind that with some groups, having de-pledged another group may give you a bit of a stigma. (In my former pledge sister's case, I know she was cut hard in the first round. She did ultimately receive a bid through formal recruitment - she just wasn't invited back to a wide variety of chapters throughout the whole process. I think she ended up being happy in her new group, but I know it wasn't where she was expecting to end up when she left us either.) Many people have friends in other chapters and people do talk. It will certainly reflect better on you to be the person who left with dignity intact vs. being the person who left and caused a lot of trouble on her way out.

[fantASTic]

Susan: I agree with your closing statement, there. A good friend of mine from another school depledged her sorority [a local, so she can rush again whenever] and caused a huge scene about it, despite me warning her against it. She has now been completely blackballed from all the sororities on campus, and none of them will give her the time of day. Rough, considering she's living in a fraternity house and goes to all their parties.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Rough, considering she's living in a fraternity house and goes to all their parties.

I'm thinking her causing a scene wasn't the [only] reason most sororities wouldn't give her the time of day...

[fantASTic]

Eh, their school is very strongly party based. I'm very familiar with their Greek system, and it's one of the ones where a letters shirt means an open invite and free beer all night long. Most rush parties are nothing but an open barrel. She's moving into the fraternity house this week, because the LXA house wasnt full and her boyfriend's a member. They invited her. I'd be surprised if either reason was a big factor.

Originally Posted by nymbels

Actually I wasn't initiated. The sorority I was in waits a little over 2 months because they never fill all of their open spots through formal rush. I was never initiated. I am glad to hear that I can rush again. Though I don't know what I will do when I have to go back to that sorority through formal rush. (My school forces you to go to all sororities) Thanks for the help!!

Like others have mentioned, you'll be okay going back to that sorority. Just be mature and polite and nothing bad will happen. Stay positive.

Good luck!

[AXO86]

We had a similar situation during rush one year, where the girl thought she was transferring and signed papers before initiation. When she ended up staying as a sophomore, she rushed again. I actually took the girl during the first round when she had to go to all of the sororities, and she was really classy about it. Just smile and ask the girls how they are doing, what their year was like, and be gracious. I must warn you, however, that all the other NPCs on campus knew that she was rushing again after almost initiating with us. I don't believe she recieved a bid in the end from anyone.

[jennie3576]

I just want to commend nymbels for 1 - not mentioning which sorority it was and 2 - asking how she should handle herself. It illustrates that she is mature enough to handle going through the process again without a hitch. Good luck to you!

[SummerLvn]

wow im devastated.... i was initiated and dropped out of an npc sorority... i really can't pledge another? is this a rule at every school?

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by SummerLvn

wow im devastated.... i was initiated and dropped out of an npc sorority... i really can't pledge another? is this a rule at every school?

Yes, it's a unanimous NPC agreement.