Are You Too Good For These Men?

[delph998]

Essence sends me their monthly newsletters and this article seemed very interesting. I checked for a repeat and wanted to share with my GC family. Are we too judgemental as women when it comes to choosing Mr. Right? Let's discuss this.

Here is some information on all of these fellas.


John, 41


Occupation: Teacher

When he's not at work: "I really enjoy outdoor concerts or catching live shows at jazz and R&B clubs."

Nice-guy cred: "I'm the guy who'll surprise you with a picnic lunch or a carriage ride in Central Park."

He says: "I hear the same thing all the time from women: 'I thought you just wanted to be friends.' I'm a little shy when it comes to letting a woman know I'm interested in more. When I'm out on a date, I'd rather talk about what you're doing and what's going on in your life than blow myself up. And I don't rush into physical intimacy. But that doesn't mean I don't want to get to know you romantically. Don't sleep on the guy you think just wants to be friends. He could be the man you end up spending the rest of your life with."


Alex, 30


Occupation: Truck driver

When he's not at work: "I'm at the gym working out or trying to decorate the apartment I just purchased."

Nice-guy cred: "You can count on me. If I say I'm going to call, I call."

He says: "When I worked for a major music label, I had no problem getting dates. But now that I can be seen stocking grocery store shelves-I'm in food sales and deliver cookies to supermarkets, delis, drugstores-it's different. I once tried to holla at a woman in a store, and she took one look at me and said, 'I don't go out with guys who make less than I do.' Funny thing is, I doubt she was right about how much I make. I own a business franchise. You just can't tell that by looking at my uniform. Simply because someone drives a delivery truck, doesn't mean he's not the owner of that truck-and a lot more."



Daniel, 26


Occupation: Customer-service representative

When he's not at work: "I perform stand-up comedy and deejay at parties and clubs."

Nice-guy cred: "I'm the most loyal person you will ever meet. When I'm interested in a woman, I have eyes for no one else."

He says: "I recently tried online dating and was amazed by the number of women who specify exactly how tall they expect their future partners to be. Even when I've been lucky enough to connect with someone online, she doesn't stick around long enough to see what I have to offer. Once I hit it off with a young lady who didn't realize I was vertically challenged until we met for our first date. She told me flat out that she didn't date short guys. Despite all the things we had in common, that was the end of that. Ladies, if you would just look down, or even straight ahead, you might see what you've been missing."


Robert, 36


Occupation: Airline flight crew

When he's not at work: "I use the fact that I work for an airline to my advantage and travel for fun."

Nice-guy cred: "I'm an expert at the little things. I know how important details are to women. When I care about someone, I find out all of her favorite things and indulge her constantly."

He says: "When I tell a woman I work for an airline flying out of Atlanta, I can almost read her mind. She's thinking: Males in flight crews are notoriously gay, and he flies out of the down-low capital of the United States. Before I even have the chance to hit on her, she has already decided that I'm not interested in women. I'm definitely straight, though. And with all my airline perks, I might be the man of your dreams."

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Now let the dialogue begin.

For the entire article, visit http://www.essence.com/essence/bodya...9085-1,00.html

[Honeykiss1974]

I don't see nothing wrong with those brothas - except for Daniel (because I don't go to or hang out in clubs and don't care for people that do).

Sometimes when I'm posed with questions like this from guys (ex. why girls don't like regular looking nice guys) I ALWAYS have to ask them "well what kind of girl have you been pursuing?" I know too many nice single women out there for guys like them to have a problem dating so I'm always curious to know the kind of woman he's been pursuing.

[Ms_Audacity]

I agree. These men seem to be awesome and should definitely have a nice lady in their lives. I think I'm a great catch and would enjoy spending time with anyone of these fellas. I think that some women get to caught up in how much money he makes and the car he drives and his physical apprearance when they should be looking much deeper and these are probably the superficial women that they are pursuing which is why they are still single. We need to realize that the man we want might not necessarily be the man we need.

[1908Revelations]

I find nothing wrong with these guys initially, but to say there would be more would require me to know them. But I have a few reservations on Daniel b/c he is short as hell and I am 6 feet. Eventhough most of these particular guys are out of my age range, I actually fell head over heels for a teacher (not my own) who has a child. He was very smart, Verrrrry cute; but he eventually turned out to be an ass.

ETA
I read the article and Micheal 24, "I've got a son" (the guy on page 2) is really cute.....I'll holla! Ummmm.....somebody give him my #! J/K...I think

[UrbanizdSkillz]

I would date all of them except Daniel. Yes, I know I am prejudiced against short men. But I'm just trying to be real about it

ETA: I also have to question what type of women they are pursuing. Nine times out of ten, they are passing up equally nice women because of what they (unfortunately) look like.

[NiaX]

Originally Posted by delph998

Essence sends me their monthly newsletters and this article seemed very interesting. I checked for a repeat and wanted to share with my GC family. Are we too judgemental as women when it comes to choosing Mr. Right? Let's discuss this.

Here is some information on all of these fellas.

Alex, 30


Occupation: Truck driver

When he's not at work: "I'm at the gym working out or trying to decorate the apartment I just purchased."

Nice-guy cred: "You can count on me. If I say I'm going to call, I call."

He says: "When I worked for a major music label, I had no problem getting dates. But now that I can be seen stocking grocery store shelves-I'm in food sales and deliver cookies to supermarkets, delis, drugstores-it's different. I once tried to holla at a woman in a store, and she took one look at me and said, 'I don't go out with guys who make less than I do.' Funny thing is, I doubt she was right about how much I make. I own a business franchise. You just can't tell that by looking at my uniform. Simply because someone drives a delivery truck, doesn't mean he's not the owner of that truck-and a lot more."

I had a problem with the snippet on this one. this is a lie... his occupation is BUSINESS OWNER, PERIOD. they botched this one to make him look like a charity case... he is ok without this article, he needs to keep the faith.

[BlessedOne04]

Originally Posted by Honeykiss1974

Sometimes when I'm posed with questions like this from guys (ex. why girls don't like regular looking nice guys) I ALWAYS have to ask them "well what kind of girl have you been pursuing?"

Exactly! I find that alot of men with this wrap about women not wanting them is because they are judgemental in who they are choosing to date.

I would date them all except the first guy and thats because he is simply too old for me.

[DSTCHAOS]

Yes.

[RedefinedDiva]

Essence needs to DO BETTER.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Yes.

Damn.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by RedefinedDiva

Essence needs to DO BETTER.

yeah for real.

hmm, id date (ages aside) the 2nd and 4th guy. im not attracted to any of them really, but the first guy is a hell naw. the 3rd, i dont do party folks, including promoters, DJs, album droppers, etc. i wanna go to the party with you. i dont want you to be the party.

[Blessed2bDST]

The bottom line is that people like what they like. Men are just as picky for all kinds of reasons. And men don't qualify why they don't like a certain type. I think women are always made to feel like they have to "explain" or apologize for whatever their preferences might be.

The first one and the short one -- I think it's funny that they didn't mention weight. A lot of women might be turned off by the fact that they are overweight.

The truck driver (business owner) is the only one I really thought was kind of cute.

[ladygreek]

This is an interesting discussion. My best friend, my daughter and I were having a discussion about why none of us were married or in a serious relationship. All three of us are attractive, have good jobs and own our own homes.

My daughter, with her wise self said: we could have all been married if that is all we wanted. But we wanted more and we wouldn't settle. It is not all about looks, income, etc. with a man, it is about how they treat us and respect us.

She went on to tell me she is so glad I did not marry her father, who is an alcoholic, because she would not have had the loving life she has had with just a single parent. I had to sit down on that one.

We know too many women who marry for the sake of being married and end up divorced with children five years later. Why? Because deep down inside all they really wanted was the wedding and the status that goes along with being Mrs. so and so.

So should we be judgemental? IMO no, because that implies judging the book by its cover. Should we be discerning? Absolutely. If you start reading the book and it does not appeal to you, then put it on the shelf and find a new book to read.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by NiaX

I had a problem with the snippet on this one. this is a lie... his occupation is BUSINESS OWNER, PERIOD. they botched this one to make him look like a charity case... he is ok without this article, he needs to keep the faith.

No, I think it was deliberate. How many women kept reading after seeing truck driver. That was the point he wanted to make.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Yes.

I'm gonna tell!!!!