Long Distance Relationships

UGAmmaSig · #1 10-20-2007, 09:17 PM

I'm in a long distance relationship... we met at the end of high school and we went to different colleges, 6 hours away. Now were sophomores in college and still together!

I love him more than anyone in the world though. We see eachother once every like 2-3 weeks, but the longest we've ever gone apart is a month and a couple days and it was torturous!!!! We talk on the phone a lot but its not the same and I miss him soo much!!!

What do ya'll think about long-distance relationships? Any tips to keep the relationship going even if were 6 hours away? Any cute ideas for things to send him?

KSUViolet06 · #2 10-21-2007, 02:24 AM

I think they can work if the relationship has a good solid foundation and the couple makes time to see each other and stays in regular communication.

My Grand Big has been in a long distance relationship for 6 years (since HS). They went to school in 2 different states (we're in OH and he went to Clemson), but they'd spent 2 years together before going to college so they had the foundation to make it work. He got a cell phone plan that would let her talk to him for free. She made it a point to see him at least monthly. They had their rough times, but they stuck it out, and now she's getting married and I'm going to be in her wedding.

PrettyBoy · #3 10-21-2007, 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UGAmmaSig

I'm in a long distance relationship... we met at the end of high school and we went to different colleges, 6 hours away. Now were sophomores in college and still together!

I love him more than anyone in the world though. We see eachother once every like 2-3 weeks, but the longest we've ever gone apart is a month and a couple days and it was torturous!!!! We talk on the phone a lot but its not the same and I miss him soo much!!!

What do ya'll think about long-distance relationships? Any tips to keep the relationship going even if were 6 hours away? Any cute ideas for things to send him?

You two are only 6 hours away, so it should work. Just as long as know one does anything stupid you'll make it.

SigKapAngel767 · #4 10-21-2007, 09:21 AM

I did the long-distance thing....for 2 and a half years straight. (we're married now

) He's a pilot in the Navy, so he was very far away from me the whole time. Compatible cell phone plans are key. When we were engaged, he got me a phone on his plan, so we could call, text, etc. We also used AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) and e-mails to communicate when I was out of the country. During my senior year of college, I could see him on breaks, and Christmas was great b/c he had leave for 2 weeks. We got engaged the July after I finished school. Since I was now a working girl, I was able to fly down and see him once a month

(he couldn't leave).

I truly believe that as long as two people love each other, and want to work it out, they can make it happen!

PhoenixAzul · #5 10-21-2007, 05:04 PM

I feel like I need to write an informational pamphlet on the subject of long distance relationships. I've been in one for six years, five of those being long distance. I went to undergrad in OH while my BF was in PA. I took a study abroad thing to Northern Ireland. And now we're engaged and I live in Scotland (yeah, not ideal, but whatever).

The basic thing is to not get caught up in the "blame game". as in, "if you weren't doing x, than we could be together!". And if you're the jealous type, than it can really eat you up. We realize that our being away from each other gives us time to work on our selves as individuals, and we bring that enrichment and those experiences back to the relationship and make it stronger. Being engaged and away from each other pretty much sucks the big one, but it is for the benefit of our relationship in the long run (me getting a higher ed degree here means we can both immigrate here together, and i have better employment prospects in the UK/Europe). Do I miss him? Yes, desperately. But does it make the time we spend together better? Definitely. And it really taught us how to communicate better with each other and be honest with how we were feeling. And we learned to write really good love letters.

It can work, it just *takes* work.

AGDee · #6 10-22-2007, 06:15 AM

I think it's a lot easier today with cell phones, email, web cams and IM. "Back in the day" when my college boyfriend lived a couple hours away and we went home for the summer, I would have to go get a roll of quarters and find a comfy payphone to call him! We wrote each other snail mail letters, sometimes every day. It was tough but then, it was only for 3 months. Now, you can converse in some form every day.

Infamous12 · #7 10-22-2007, 10:42 AM

I'm currently in my second long-distance relationship. The first one ( of 5 years) would have been fine, had he not cheated and subsequently got the girl pregnant.

But while fidelity, determination and love were there - it was grand.

My current relationship has always been long-distance, but it's not too bad as since it's only 3 hours away AND I work in his city very often. We see each other every other weekend, if not every weekend, and talk several times a day.

It's the little things that really make the difference. Sending little notes and cards, or e-cards, remind you two of your love. Taking special time out of your day just a 'just called to say I love you' phone call. Even, planning to watch a certain show each week, so that it's like you two are watching tv together. My fave: whenever I visit, I leave post-it notes strategically hidden in his apartment so that after I'm gone, he opens up a random shoe box and finds quirky little notes from me! (I got a standing ovation from his boys for that one, lol.)

All this stuff is slightly corny, I know, but it keeps the relationship fun and keeps the love going even with miles in between. Its really all about the work you're willing to put in to making the relationship grow. Dont think of your distance as a bad thing, but moreso as the opportunity to build yourselves mentally, emotionally and spiritually as individuals so that when you come together as a unit - you'll be that much greater as a team.

RhoSigma2003 · #8 10-22-2007, 10:55 AM

Well, 8 weeks ago my long distance boyfriend and I moved in together!

I lived in Chicago and he lived in Boston. We met through friends and we have always been long distance. We have gone a max of 7 weeks without seeing each other and omg its really tough. He was working on his graduate thesis and I was working on a conference with about 4,500 attendees.

I made him a scrapbook of our first 3 visits together. Since then, I have been collecting more stuff to put in it, just haven't had the time. Here are some ideas:

-Order dinner for him from his favorite place and have it delivered.
-Send cards with personal messages in the inside.
-I've overnighted homemade white chocolate chip brownies to him before
-Send a care package, but have a theme to it.
-leave lip-stick/chap stick notes on his mirror.
-Leave a card on his pillow when you leave. Spray your perfume on his pillows. Men commit smell to memories more than females do.
-Monday nights we would always watch "How I met your mother" and we still are.
-Email or text throughout the day. Thats the biggest thing about being in a long distance relationship is always feeling included in the other person's life. And share stories of your own, even if you feel that he might not care about them, he will.
-Planning something to do during your next visit. He and I lived over 1,000 miles away(southwest LOVED us; 2 free round trips in 9 months). It something that will impact both of you during your visit.

Plus, surround yourself with supportive friends and family. This is HUGE. We wouldn't have made it this far if we didn't have wonderful friends and family that kept an open mind of our relationship.

If you need anything, let me know! I know exactly what you guys are going through.

Infamous12 · #9 10-22-2007, 11:20 AM

^^^ Oooh, I'm going to use that fave restaurant delivery one! GREAT idea!

I'm planning on sending him cards and treats everyday during his last week of grad this semester.

RhoSigma, I may be calling on you for help with this too, lol.

*goes off to find the number to 'No Thai' restaurant and the location of the ME research lab

*

DSTCHAOS · #10 10-22-2007, 11:52 AM

I'm not a LDR person because I require too much attention. After long days and long weeks of work, I don't want to be relegated to phone coversations or waiting for the person to come in town.

I tried one after I graduated from college but keeping in touch took too much effort and it took away from the relationship stuff. I certainly wouldn't have done an LDR in college because college was a time to meet new people and see new options.

My only suggestion is to keep the lines of communication open and plan as many get togethers as possible. Most importantly, stay focused on school and what you need to do. That will keep your mind and time occupied.

REE1993 · #11 10-22-2007, 01:05 PM

One pitfall of any long distance relationship is that when DO see each other, you are often getting both of you on your best behavior. As in "date" behavior. You aren't together every day, and it's often the day-to-day things that tend to cause riffs.

The most important thing is to be honest. Honesty about more than where you were last night. I mean about feelings. It's easy to hid that when you don't see each other every day. You know, sis, keeping it real.

Do either/both of you see the relationship as continuing after you graduate? Do you both see it as long-term? On the flip side, are you potentially putting off getting yourself out into the world, because you have a safety net x miles away? You are still young, and you may be tying yourself down during a time when people usually "find themselves", yada yada.

Good luck, and I hope that your relationship gives you more joys than tears! (hey, ya gotta have both!!)

SydneyK · #12 10-22-2007, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

I'm not a LDR person ... I don't want to be relegated to phone coversations or waiting for the person to come in town.

I'm with you, Chaos.

I tried the LD thing twice, and neither time did it end well. I always figured if it was meant to be, it would happen when we were both in the same place. If it wasn't meant to be, well... it was nice knowing you. It just never felt the way a relationship should feel; it was more like we were friends instead of gf/bf. There's only so much comfort a phone conversation can provide when you've had a bad day; hugs work much better. It's not much fun hugging a phone.

But, to those of you who can do it, my hat's off to you. I just never cared much for it.

Good luck, UGAmmaSig.

DSTCHAOS · #13 10-22-2007, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by REE1993

One pitfall of any long distance relationship is that when DO see each other, you are often getting both of you on your best behavior. As in "date" behavior. You aren't together every day, and it's often the day-to-day things that tend to cause riffs.

I call LDR's "honeymoons."

I laugh whenever people talk about how they never had drama with their exes. A lot of times, these were honeymoon relationships and you didn't get the real person.

RhoSigma2003 · #14 10-23-2007, 10:24 AM

No problem, just message away! I sent it when he took a "sick" day finishing his thesis. I had his favorite pizza and clam chowder soup sent to him. He almost didn't accept the food! I gave him a clue and told him not to get in the shower or leave the house until 1:00pm. He remembered that when the door bell rang and it was some yummy food.