The Second Phase of Recruiting

GatorDG · #1 09-20-2007, 11:35 PM

I am just so very sad. I have just talked to my daughter's friend that pledged a couple of weeks ago at ASU. She was so excited about being in a house, but as happens many times, feels like there is no connection. Her big sister has done nothing to try to help her really meet the actives or really get to know her, for that matter.

I am going to see her this weekend and have a heart to heart. I know it is a bit more difficult at ASU as they do not have houses and do not dine together on a nightly basis. This is very foreign to me and must make it very hard to build a sisterhood.

I know there are a certain percentage of girls that drop after pledging, I cannot help but think that if as much effort is put into their pledgeship (is that term still used) to "rush" the new members as was put into recruitment, then more would be retained and really get a feel for what sisterhood is all about.

KSUViolet06 · #2 09-21-2007, 01:44 AM

Here's two important perspectives on this issue:

I'm sorry she feels this way. Chapters sometimes forget that the new member period is a time for girls to decide whether or not to commit to the organization. They shouldn't just assume that because a girl accepts a bid to their sorority that their job is done and they don't need to promote the sorority anymore. You brought them in, but you need to engage them in activities and get them involved so that they'll initiate and stick around.

On the flipside of this, new members need to understand that like all relationships, sorority relationships aren't instant. They take time to develop. You aren't going to be instant bff's with your Big. Also ask her, is she making an effort herself to get to know girls? Yes, actives should try to hang out with the new girls and help them feel included, but friendship is a 2-way street. If all a girl does is sit back and wait for actives to ask her to hang out and takes no initiative,then of course she's going to feel left out.

I she's not already doing so, encourage her to get involved and take initiative to make friends within the sorority and see if things change.

Here's a recent thread with a kind of similar topic (girl who feels let down her sorority after recruitment):
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=90221

PeppyGPhiB · #3 09-21-2007, 01:59 AM

The sororities at my university were unhoused, too, but we managed to bond with our new members and make them feel welcome. We had a new member retreat shortly after bid day, actives took girls to coffee, breakfast or lunch, and we'd have bonfires on the beach at night. You don't need a house. Besides, at most schools the new members don't usually live in the first year, anyway.

It sounds like her chapter has dropped the ball a little, which is too bad. How 'bout she suggest to another new member that the two of them and their bigs go out for lunch or something?

33girl · #4 09-21-2007, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GatorDG

I am just so very sad. I have just talked to my daughter's friend that pledged a couple of weeks ago at ASU. She was so excited about being in a house, but as happens many times, feels like there is no connection. Her big sister has done nothing to try to help her really meet the actives or really get to know her, for that matter.

She's been involved with this sorority for less than a month. She's not going to be BFFs with everyone she meets the minute she meets them.

So she isn't close w/ her big so far - oh well, sometimes that happens. But it's not her big's job to introduce her to the actives or get involved. She has to do that for herself.

I know this is basically the same thing Jocelyn said, but there seems to be an epidemic this year of people thinking that the minute you get your bid your entire life changes and you have 30-200 instant best friends. I partly blame the fact that the pledge programs have been turned into touchy feely OMG you're the bestest time instead of a time to get to know your sisters, your sorority history and your campus Greek climate - and the fact that it was impressed on you that no one was going to hand this to you.

I'm not advocating hazing in any way but just because your NM manual says "from the beginning, we treat you like a sister" - that means as far as chapter operations. You can't legislate how people feel.

AGDee · #5 09-21-2007, 11:50 AM

One of the best pieces of advice that I was given before my Initiation was "You'll get out of it what you put into it" and it turned out to not just be true with the sorority, but in every aspect of my life.

SthrnZeta · #6 09-24-2007, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm not advocating hazing in any way but just because your NM manual says "from the beginning, we treat you like a sister" - that means as far as chapter operations. You can't legislate how people feel.

I agree with you there. It's nice to think that everyone clicks the minute you get your pledge pin, but it takes time for people in such a tight-knit group as a sisterhood to accept new sisters into their group, it's definitely not overnight. Of course, they should be welcoming and make a huge effort to invite you out to stuff, etc., but part of it's on the NM as well. You have to be open to invites and make yourself as available as possible - the old saying is so so true in this case: you get out of it what you put into it. Period. Everyone in the sorority is an adult and they're not going to force you to come to stuff or hold your hand through everything. With that being said, if you put a lot into it, you'll get a lot back and end up with a lifetime of rewarding sisterhood

FSUZeta · #7 09-27-2007, 09:34 AM

i advise an unhoused chapter and they do have to make an effort to connect with the new members. they have weekly "letters and lunch" day, where they all wear a zeta t-shirt and sit together in the cafeteria. the temporary big sisters are pretty good about getting together with their potential little sisters, meeting them for lunch, taking them for coffee or ice cream or to a movie or sporting event.

we had a sign that was always on the bulletin board on the 2nd floor landing of my house that simply said "K.R.O.P." new members had no idea what it meant, but initiated sisters new that it meant "Keep Rushing Our Pledges"-because we knew that they had to feel at home and just because they signed a bid card did not mean that it was a done deal!

SthrnZeta · #8 09-27-2007, 10:37 AM

FSU, we did the same thing (minus the KROP) thing, but we were continuously rushing ours as well in terms of constantly inviting NMs out to things and if you were a Strawberry Sis, etc, then it was your job to personally do that (along with goodies in their file in our Greek file room!) We did anything and everything we could think of to make sure NMs felt welcome and be proud to be one of us.