Situations Hallmark doesn't cover

[NinjaPoodle]

FYI I posted this in chit chat but I wanted to stick it in here also. Happy Friday!
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Situations Hallmark doesn't cover:

1. I always wanted to have
someone to hold, someone to love.
(inside card)
After meeting you .... I changed my mind.

2. I must admit,
You brought religion into my life ...
(inside card)
I never believed in Hell
Until I met you.

3. As the days go by,
I think how lucky I am ...
(inside card)
That you're not here
To ruin it for me.

4. Happy birthday!
You look great for your age ...
(inside card)
Almost life-like!

5. When we were together,
You said you'd die for me.. .
(inside card)
Now that we've broken up,
It's time to keep your promise.

6. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. .
Did you ever find out who the father is?

7. You are such a good friend that
If we were on a sinking ship
And there was only one life jacket ...
(inside card)
I'd miss you terribly
And think of you often.

8. Your friends and I want
to do something really special
for your birthday. . . .
(inside card)
So we're having you put to sleep.

9. Happy Birthday Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee,and West Virginia).

10. Looking back over the years
We've been together,
I can't help wondering ...
(inside card)
What was I thinking?

11. Congratulations on your wedding day!. . .
(inside card)
Too bad no one likes your wife.