Deltas I truly need ya'll help

[ColorfulCre8ion]

Greetings my fellow Sorors and SistuhGreeks!

I have a huge dilemma and I am seeking advice and/or encouragement. I recently crossed into Delta Land Spring of 2006. Due to the nature of this post I will keep my chapter and line name secretive (all those wanting to know can send me a PM.) Anyway, I was so excited that my dream was finally a reality but little did i know that things would drastically change.

About 4 months ago I came 'out' to my sands. And not like OWT with the Bruhs but 'out' about me being a lesbian. Instead of support that I expected my sands completely turned on me, ridicule me, told me I was going to hell and a host of other mean things. Lately they have been ignoring me, calling me names, excluding me from activities, having 'get togethers' without my acknowledgement, mean muggin my girlfriend when she walks on campus and a list of other cruel actions.

I went to our advisor and she told me "it takes time for people to adjust to that, give it time and things will be normal" Well it's been four months and things are worse! I went back to our advisor recently and she told me that my sands are doing mean things to me in order to uphold the image of Delta.

I tried explaining to my Sands that they are like family to me and that I already had to deal with this mistreatment from my biological family. I also told them that my check to Delta is just as good as there's. I deserve to be a Delta and I cannot choose my sexuality just as much as I can choose to be black.

So, I am wondering what is my next step? Should I contact HQ? I can't take this much longer. I am now known on my campus as 'THE GAY DELTA.' It has become the joke in pro-shows and all over the yard. Its 2007, dammit and I would assume that people would be more excepting of this by now.

I have cried many nights over this, stressed myself to the point where I throw up and don't even eat. Please somebody tell me what to do. PM if you need. Thanks!!

~Yours Truly~
'ColorfulCre8ions'

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

So, I am wondering what is my next step? Should I contact HQ? I can't take this much longer. I am now known on my campus as 'THE GAY DELTA.' It has become the joke in pro-shows and all over the yard. Its 2007, dammit and I would assume that people would be more excepting of this by now.

Such is life. Homosexuality still isn't accepted in all walks of life.

You just crossed into this chapter which probably means you don't know your chapter that well and you probably don't even know your line sisters that well (depending).

What do you think NHQ would be able to do besides make you "The Gay Delta Who Dropped Dime?"

My only advice would be make contacting a regional or national officer a last resort.

[Senusret I]

Any other time this would be spam or shameless self-promotion.....

Okay, so it is.

www.oldgoldsoul.com, go there, buy a book called LAZARUS about a gay dude who pledges a fraternity.

Yeah, I wrote it, so what? LOL

But on the real, that's a tough situation and I really don't have any advice other than to continue being yourself and continue striving toward a sisterly resolution.

OH YEAH, and I am going to PM you the address of an LGBT NPHC yahoo group that may be able to provide some support.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Any other time this would be spam or shameless self-promotion.....

Okay, so it is.

www.oldgoldsoul.com, go there, buy a book called LAZARUS about a gay dude who pledges a fraternity.

Yeah, I wrote it, so what? LOL

But on the real, that's a tough situation and I really don't have any advice other than to continue being yourself and continue striving toward a sisterly resolution.

OH YEAH, and I am going to PM you the address of an LGBT NPHC yahoo group that may be able to provide some support.

This is more of self-promotion tie in! And that is all right with me.

Soror, I wish you well as you handle this situation. Continue to love Delta and know that many women face adversity within the sorority, be it their line sisters, prophytes, etc. Also Delta is bigger than just the chapter you are currently a member. Stay true to yourself and don't let them make you act unsisterly towards them.

[ColorfulCre8ion]

Thanks to everyone that responded. But I just feel so helpless. I have two more years left at this campus and I would hate to have to transfer because of this mess. I feel like I am the one being inconvenienced for being who I am and they can get away with being mean and nasty.

[jojapeach]

Originally Posted by CrimsonTide4

Soror, I wish you well as you handle this situation. Continue to love Delta and know that many women face adversity within the sorority, be it their line sisters, prophytes, etc. Also Delta is bigger than just the chapter you are currently a member. Stay true to yourself and don't let them make you act unsisterly towards them.

Co-sign

I wish I could stand by you at your campus because I'm known for being "gay friendly". I know your relationships with your LS's and chapter are a great concern, but this situation sounds like a bigger campus-wide issue because other Greeks are making issue of it. If your student body is not accepting of homosexuality, maybe you'll be the catalyst that challenges others' views and treatment of gay students on your campus and homosexuality in general.
Just maybe....

This thread is so sad and enraging in 2007.

And seriously, buy Senusret's book. It's great literature.

[Infamous12]

Originally Posted by jojapeach

Co-sign

I wish I could stand by you at your campus because I'm known for being "gay friendly". I know your relationships with your LS's and chapter are a great concern, but this situation sounds like a bigger campus-wide issue because other Greeks are making issue of it. If your student body is not accepting of homosexuality, maybe you'll be the catalyst that challenges others' views and treatment of gay students on your campus and homosexuality in general.
Just maybe....

This thread is so sad and enraging in 2007.

And seriously, buy Senusret's book. It's great literature.

Triple-co-sign

It angers me that we as a people can be so caught up in the issue of homosexuality and totally neglect the more pertinent issues facing our society. Sometimes I look at my calendar and truly wonder what year it is..2007 or 1957?


Have you had any contact with any of the GLBT groups on your campus? Perhaps some sort of educational programming is in order. That and aLOT of prayer and meditation.

Check your PM.

[ColorfulCre8ion]

^^^thank you soror! And yes I've checked my PM's and replied to everyone. Thanks so much for the support, its rough and unfortunate but I am determined to get through. I just hate that it has to be like this

[DSTKellie]

Aww Soror it truly hurts my heart to hear this.

When I pledge, there happened to be a Soror who idenitfied herself as a lesbian on my line. She came out about a month after we all pledge. It was a big thing to her because we were the first people she told. After she told us, we hugged her, told her we loved her and continued on with Delta business. I love my Sands to death and thats what Delta is all about because we are family. I don't always agree with my Sorors but the bond that we share will never change. It almost makes me cry when I think about how close I am to them. It's been almost 9 years since we crossed and I still keep in touch with each and every one of them although I move around a lot. It pains me that you will not share the same experience as mine or most others. But do know that you have over 260,000 Sorors so don't let a few ruin what you worked so hard to achieve!

Be Blessed! (check your PM too )

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by DSTKellie

But do know that you have over 260,000 Sorors so don't let a few ruin what you worked so hard to achieve!

Well, she may never find a Delta setting that is completely accepting of her sexuality. She might find a few Sorors who she can be open and honest with and that's it. But I think that no one should play up their sexuality anyway because what makes us who we are, as far as others are concerned, isn't about who we are attracted to or love.

The main point that I tell Sorors who are dealing with finding acceptance is that they should stick with the Sorors that they bond with no matter how few. They might really have a "Sisterhood bond" with 2 and have a "Delta business" relationship with 200 and that's fine. Our bond and commitment supercedes individuals and whether we get warm fuzzies everytime we interact with one another.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

Greetings my fellow Sorors and SistuhGreeks!

I have a huge dilemma and I am seeking advice and/or encouragement. I recently crossed into Delta Land Spring of 2006. Due to the nature of this post I will keep my chapter and line name secretive (all those wanting to know can send me a PM.) Anyway, I was so excited that my dream was finally a reality but little did i know that things would drastically change.

About 4 months ago I came 'out' to my sands. And not like OWT with the Bruhs but 'out' about me being a lesbian. Instead of support that I expected my sands completely turned on me, ridicule me, told me I was going to hell and a host of other mean things. Lately they have been ignoring me, calling me names, excluding me from activities, having 'get togethers' without my acknowledgement, mean muggin my girlfriend when she walks on campus and a list of other cruel actions.

I went to our advisor and she told me "it takes time for people to adjust to that, give it time and things will be normal" Well it's been four months and things are worse! I went back to our advisor recently and she told me that my sands are doing mean things to me in order to uphold the image of Delta.

I tried explaining to my Sands that they are like family to me and that I already had to deal with this mistreatment from my biological family. I also told them that my check to Delta is just as good as there's. I deserve to be a Delta and I cannot choose my sexuality just as much as I can choose to be black.

So, I am wondering what is my next step? Should I contact HQ? I can't take this much longer. I am now known on my campus as 'THE GAY DELTA.' It has become the joke in pro-shows and all over the yard. Its 2007, dammit and I would assume that people would be more excepting of this by now.

I have cried many nights over this, stressed myself to the point where I throw up and don't even eat. Please somebody tell me what to do. PM if you need. Thanks!!

~Yours Truly~
'ColorfulCre8ions'

I am so sorry you are going through this. My honest opinion? I'll PM you that one . Basically, if someone can't accept you for who you are, you don't need them. There are those out there that will accept you for who you are. This is a trying time for you, but you will get through it. Oh and check your PM.

[DSTKellie]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well, she may never find a Delta setting that is completely accepting of her sexuality. She might find a few Sorors who she can be open and honest with and that's it. But I think that no one should play up their sexuality anyway because what makes us who we are, as far as others are concerned, isn't about who we are attracted to or love.

The main point that I tell Sorors who are dealing with finding acceptance is that they should stick with the Sorors that they bond with no matter how few. They might really have a "Sisterhood bond" with 2 and have a "Delta business" relationship with 200 and that's fine. Our bond and commitment supercedes individuals and whether we get warm fuzzies everytime we interact with one another.

I understand that she may never find a Delta setting that totally approves of her sexuality. I'm not saying that her sands have to agree with her lifestyle. However, there response is what's troubling me. We have disagreements but I still think their response was out of order. I made that comment that she can still actively serve and meet other Sorors who won't make such an issue about her sexuality.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by DSTKellie

I understand that she may never find a Delta setting that totally approves of her sexuality. I'm not saying that her sands have to agree with her lifestyle. However, there response is what's troubling me. We have disagreements but I still think their response was out of order. I made that comment that she can still actively serve and meet other Sorors who won't make such an issue about her sexuality.

My point that even if she doesn't find a setting that won't make such an issue, she still needs to keep it all in perspective. I don't think anyone should wear their sexual orientation on their sleeves. If people choose to do so, they need to understand they will get different reactions from different people. If she chooses to present herself as "the Delta who is a Lesbian" then she MIGHT have a difficult time finding Sorors who will interact with her the same as had she just presented herself "ColorfulCr8tion, the Delta."

Then again, she MIGHT not have a hard time when she branches outside of her chapter. She's a Neo so it all remains to be seen.

[Senusret I]

I think that wearing sexuality on your sleeve is subjective.

If I ask a Brother what he did last weekend, and he mentioned he went to the movies with his girlfriend, that's not wearing his sexuality on his sleeve.

But if a Brother asks me the same thing, and I mention my boyfriend*, then straight people perceive that as wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.


*Senusret I is single and is, in fact, taking applications.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I think that wearing sexuality on your sleeve is subjective.

If I ask a Brother what he did last weekend, and he mentioned he went to the movies with his girlfriend, that's not wearing his sexuality on his sleeve.

But if a Brother asks me the same thing, and I mention my boyfriend*, then straight people perceive that as wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.


*Senusret I is single and is, in fact, taking applications.

Hmmm. Good point. And lol @ your last statement.