Legacy disclosure

Auburnmom23 · #1 08-12-2015, 08:44 AM

Apologies if this has been discussed before, but my search didn't turn anything up. My first daughter didn't have my chapter at her school, she had a very nice recruitment and joined the house she loved. That resulted in my younger daughter being a legacy at two chapters at her SEC school. She disclosed her legacy status on the Pan form as requested, and I'm so relieved to say that she also had a good recruitment with full schedules and lots of happiness at the end of the day.

I hear from lots of Moms that their daughter's experience was so different, and they strongly believe that it is foolish to share your legacy status with anyone other than the legacy houses. I'm curious as to how prevalent the issue of being cut hard and early due to legacy status at another chapter on campus really is?

carnation · #2 08-12-2015, 08:56 AM

Times have changed. Sororities have to cut so many girls early on that I would not want my daughters' multiple legacy statuses on their recs. Over the past few years, I have known of many PNMs who were cut heavily after first parties (because of their outstanding records, almost certainly due to legacy status). Some of these were cut by their legacy groups after second parties, leaving them nowhere to go.

Bamamom16 · #3 08-12-2015, 09:06 AM

My understanding of this (from my daughter who is an active in a sorority) is that there is more danger of being cut when one is a legacy multiple times to one sorority (i.e., triple, quadruple legacy status), as in these cases it is assumed hat the loyalties lie to the one chapter and therefore it is a waste of time and energy to recruit someone when there are so many girls of high quality to also consider.

DallasMom · #4 08-12-2015, 09:36 PM

My daughter will go through recruitment next year. So, you guys suggest that her references should not mention her legacy, at all, except to her legacy chapter? Does the same go for other Greek affiliations?

Such as, she has three aunts (my sisters), two are ABC, one is DEF and I am HIJ. We all went to different schools.

I just leave all of that info out of her resume?

Sorta seems sad. . . . .

Thanks!

Titchou · #5 08-12-2015, 09:44 PM

Since my group has a place for on the rec form, I always include legacy info if I know, whether the pnm includes it or not. I feel like I am lying to my group if I don't.

DallasMom · #6 08-12-2015, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou

Since my group has a place for on the rec form, I always include legacy info if I know, whether the pnm includes it or not. I feel like I am lying to my group if I don't.

I do the same. It never occurred to me that legacy info was not being included until I read this thread.

clemsongirl · #7 08-12-2015, 10:04 PM

Especially if the PNM is a multi-generational legacy/has a sitting sister at that school I would guess it's better to list the information in the rec and emphasize her open-mindedness rather than leave it up to them to discover this information on their own and draw their own conclusions.

Sciencewoman · #8 08-12-2015, 10:06 PM

^^^ I agree with everything you said. I think almost everyone's form asks this, so it's not a good idea to hide it.

DallasMom · #9 08-12-2015, 10:07 PM

I like the idea of including her open-mindedness. That works for me. And my daughter. As much as I would love for her to pledge DDD, she and I are both very much aware she needs to be open and find her home.

Thanks!!! :-)

Loyally Kappa · #10 08-12-2015, 10:19 PM

My older daughter pledged in 2006 and my younger in 2009. When we wrote up their resumes, we included ALL of the "alphabet soup" in our family ... great-grandmother, grandmother, mother, aunts, cousins, even father and uncles.

Our thinking was that we wanted every sorority to understand that my girls came from a very strong Greek background. We thought it was important for every chapter they visited to know up front that the commitment about to be undertaken had a long tradition in our family.

Both of my girls had a full dance card each round. My advice is to not hide your stripes.

Auburnmom23 · #11 08-12-2015, 11:07 PM

We did the same...proud of being a strong Greek family. I know that many don't agree with this position, some say due to a painful experience. It's so competitive now and the PNM groups are so big, it does make some sense that legacy status in another house could become another factor in narrowing the field. I had two girls this year specifically request that I not include legacy info on my rec form for them (both SEC schools). I would assume the size and competitiveness of the recruitment in question plays a big role in whether or not this is a thing.

Bamamom16 · #12 08-13-2015, 08:24 AM

I wonder if some girls do not want it included because they do not view that particular chapter as being strong/'top tier' on their campus. Either way, I would say include it and emphasize the candidate's open mindedness. Since sororities are more successful when the actives stay involved, I would think a strong Greek background would be a plus and an indication of dedication and knowledge of what is expected.

KDCat · #13 08-13-2015, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DallasMom

My daughter will go through recruitment next year. So, you guys suggest that her references should not mention her legacy, at all, except to her legacy chapter? Does the same go for other Greek affiliations?

Such as, she has three aunts (my sisters), two are ABC, one is DEF and I am HIJ. We all went to different schools.

I just leave all of that info out of her resume?

Sorta seems sad. . . . .

Thanks!

Yes. Leave all of that out of her resume and any forms she has to fill out. You and your sisters should make sure that you turn in legacy forms or rec forms to your sororities. (Not all sororities recognize nieces as a legacy.) That way she gets the benefit of legacy status at her legacy sororites, without scaring off any other chapters that she might be intereted in.

KDCat · #14 08-13-2015, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen

Do groups not want to try and snag legacies from other groups lol?

Our legacy forms actually ask if there are legacies, other relatives that are Alpha Phis (that don't count directly as legacies) and if there are relatives in another fraternal organization (sorority or fraternity). So if I knew, I'd list it because the form asks.
.

If your PNM pool is so full of your own legacies that you have to cut some, you don't really care about other people's legacies.

As a parent or a PNM, I'd just leave that space on the form blank. If I am writing an alumna rec, I list all the legacies of a PNM, but state whether or not she is open minded.

FloMo Mom · #15 08-13-2015, 11:03 AM

My daughter is going through recruitment next week. We listed both legacy chapters on her resume. She is a legacy through grandmothers and great-grandmothers. We talked about leaving this information off the resume and decided to be honest and include it. I'll let you know later if it was a good or bad idea!