Understanding Spring Rush

[aryastark1234]

So, if anyone could answer this, then I would really appreciate it.

I know that sororities can't share why they chose to reject a girl, but if someone could give me some of the basic reasoning that is used, I would really appreciate it. I really just want an honest, no bs answer to why I was rejected.

So I just went through Spring Rush. At my school (I don't know if all schools are like this), the only houses that do Spring Rush are those who couldn't fulfill their quotas. There were two houses that needed girls. One of them, the one I worked really hard to get into, went to all of their events, really made an effort to talk to the girls - rejected me. They took most of the girls who came, but they didn't take me. The other one took me, but they literally only met me once before and I know they did it to improve their numbers. I'm choosing to see this as an opportunity for future possibilities rather than what some people might see it as. But I still have two questions.

First Question: Why would a house that I'm pretty sure took the majority of girls that rushed it because they needed numbers not want me? Was I so bad that they felt the need to reject me? I thought I made a good impression and I was really excited to be there. Now I'm really hurting.

Second Question: what should I do in my current sorority?

I don't know what exactly it is that I did that made the other sorority reject me and I'm honestly really afraid of making this house feel the same way. What should I do? I'm honestly just relieved any house took me and I'm really afraid of doing something that makes this house not want me, like the other one did.

I will be so thankful for any and all advice.

[Titchou]

Obviously we can't know why you were released. Please don't use "rejected" because you have no idea why they didn't give you a bid over someone else. Keep in mind they still have to adhere to Total and could only give so many bids. Maybe your grades were .05 below the last one they took. Maybe you didn't have a rec and the others did. Maybe you didn't have as many activities as the others. Maybe they just feel you weren't a "fit" with the rest of the new member class. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

As for your current sorority, you should be an active new member. Join in all activities. Make your grades. Get to know your sisters. But keep in mind - THEY WANTED YOU - for whatever reason. Not everyone can say that.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by aryastark1234

So, if anyone could answer this, then I would really appreciate it.

I know that sororities can't share why they chose to reject a girl, but if someone could give me some of the basic reasoning that is used, I would really appreciate it. I really just want an honest, no bs answer to why I was rejected.

You were not rejected by one, and that one is the ONLY one you need AND the one YOU accepted into your life.

So I just went through Spring Rush. At my school (I don't know if all schools are like this), the only houses that do Spring Rush are those who couldn't fulfill their quotas. There were two houses that needed girls. One of them, the one I worked really hard to get into, went to all of their events, really made an effort to talk to the girls - rejected me. They took most of the girls who came, but they didn't take me. The other one took me, but they literally only met me once before and I know they did it to improve their numbers. I'm choosing to see this as an opportunity for future possibilities rather than what some people might see it as. But I still have two questions.

Right. Your true and stellar qualities did not shine through, and the house you accepted into your life thought you were the reject that you think you are and bid you
because they consider themselves The Reject House.

First Question: Why would a house that I'm pretty sure took the majority of girls that rushed it because they needed numbers not want me? Was I so bad that they felt the need to reject me? I thought I made a good impression and I was really excited to be there. Now I'm really hurting.

As Titchou mentioned, we cannot know. Life is a little knowing, a lot NOT knowing.

Second Question: what should I do in my current sorority?

What exactly were you going to do in the OTHER sorority? Did you make a list of different things to accomplish based upon which group you accepted?

I don't know what exactly it is that I did that made the other sorority reject me and I'm honestly really afraid of making this house feel the same way. What should I do?

The home you joined has already accepted you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, so keep up your GOOD AND POSITIVE ATTITUDE and you'll do fine.

I'm honestly just relieved any house took me and I'm really afraid of doing something that makes this house not want me, like the other one did.

Nope, because YOU are NOT going to allow that to happen.

I will be so thankful for any and all advice.

.

[FSUZeta]

Think about your situation in terms of college acceptance. You applied to 2 colleges. One did not accept you-the one you really worked hard to get in. The other one, the one you just filled out the app for as a safety, did accept you. Will you not go to college because the one you really wanted did not offer you a spot? Or will you go to school #2, which did accept you, work hard to feel a part of the campus and learn to love it? It is up to you.

PS: Arya would make the latter choice.

[ChioLu]

I'm quoting Snoop Dogg here (about college FB recruitment) "go with the one that wants you"

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ChioLu

I'm quoting Snoop Dogg here (about college FB recruitment) "go with the one that wants you"

Well played.

OP, I'm sorry you are hurting, and I'm glad you are giving the sorority that DID choose you a chance. You can't drive yourself nuts trying to figure out what went wrong, because there may not be a quantifiable, or even a logical, answer.

A few years ago, I met a guy online who seemed cool, cute, etc. We exchanged a few emails, and he seemed like someone I really wanted to meet. Then I asked his real name, and it was the same as my abusive ex. At the time, that was a deal-breaker for me, and I cut off contact with some bullshit excuse. But of course, there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with the guy, except that he sorta reminded me of my ex for a reason he had no control over.

I think a lot of times, rejection is like that...arbitrary, or has more to do with the person doing the rejection than the person being rejected, or bad timing, or just some weird funny feeling that something isn't right. It's human nature to look for reasons or to seek "closure," but nothing really fixes it except time, and maybe good friends helping you along.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by aryastark1234

First Question: Why would a house that I'm pretty sure took the majority of girls that rushed it because they needed numbers not want me?

This is rather insulting to the chapter, and to the girls they took. You have no idea of the relationships the sisters had with those rushees or what they needed in their chapter. If you put across the thought of "well I know you need numbers so I'm in like Flynn!" in your actions or speech, it probably turned people off.

On the other side of the coin, stop thinking that the only reason you got a bid to your current chapter is because of numbers. That's self loathing and no chapter (especially one that is trying to grow) needs that.

[tinydancer]

This is some good advice from one of my fraternal organizations:
"Be an active member; don't just belong."
You will get so much more out of it.

[HQWest]

Also - your name does not suit this melancholy attitude. Didn't you read the book? Arya Stark is the misfit overlooked tomboy - She becomes a cuthroat assassin

[clemsongirl]

FWIW, you posted the same sob story at r/sororities on reddit (yep, we're there too!) and got the same advice. Move on. You got a bid, now make the best of it. Whatever advice you were looking for over there and didn't get, you won't get here either.