What advice to give to others who get that "no" multiple times...

[misscherrypie]

I was having a discussion with a potential rushee of Beta Sigma Phi earlier today. Among other topics, we discussed Beta Sigma Phi and why I personally love being part of this organization.

Among her reasons for being interested in membership: She didn't get a bid through informal last spring, and went through this fall and didn't get a bid through formal and really wants to go Greek. This young woman doesn't feel that Beta is right for her (she wants a Panhellenic experience.....we're a different kind of organization) which is fine. Different strokes for different folks. I encouraged her to check out other orgs, maybe go through recruitment one more time if she feels that its something that she is willing to do and to go ahead and get involved on campus in general.... but something has had me ruminating for the last couple of hours....she told me:

"I heard that you went Beta because the Greeks didn't want you and you wanted to be Greek. Maybe I should go Beta too because they don't want me."

I don't know what to say. I mean, she's somewhat correct. I originally went Beta because of some very selfish reasons. I'm not afraid to admit that in public, and I'm open about it to those who ask. Things change, and people change their perspective over time. I know that mine did.

Still, having been there: I don't know what to tell her. Sure, I ended up active and happy in several campus organizations in the end....but the whole experience has ended up with me not even thinking about the letters than I wear on my chest. It's become about the bonds that being involved in Beta and in other organizations has helped to forge and the memories that me and my sisters and friends create and share and the fun that we have together. I so want this person to find the same kind of joy and sense of purpose that I have found....but I don't know what advice to give her. She's the type that I have run into before: when it's "Greek or nothing".

The solution isn't an immediate: "Start a chapter" or "start a new organization" or "keep banging your head against the wall and keep rushing". I know that much. And I don't want to give advice that might not be helpful.

Still, this is the second time I've run into this situation during this past semester, and I'd love to be able to offer some solid advice that will benefit others when the need arises. I've read the "What to do if you're Released" thread and I'm still at a loss of what to say.

Any advice?