Being an In-House Legacy During Rush?

[SEC Legacy]

So to make a long story short, I rushed as a freshman at a large competitive southern school. My grades were high and I was quite involved in athletics and clubs. However, I was cut severely early on. The stress of the week got to me and I ended up not pledging. My older (blood) sister is an active in one of the houses here, and I am wondering whether or not this could have affected my chances with the others? And do ya'll think it's worth rushing again?

Thanks for any input, and sorry if this has been discussed before.

[AOII Angel]

Did your sister's chapter cut you?

[greekdee]

Honestly, your sister's membership probably did impact your results. I have done many recs for many women going through SEC recruitment. Those who were attending the same school where a bio sister was an active member did experience heavy cuts early on. These were outstanding young women, but going into pref, they only had their sister's chapter. Well, one of my rec girls had her sister's chapter and another one she was a legacy to.

I do know of one recent case where a PNM (attending the same SEC school as her bio sister) did pledge a different house during spring recruitment. From my years of observation as a rec-giver, this is unusual. Bio sisters at the same school do appear to usually end up in the same house. Is it because the younger sister didn't have other options? I think so in a lot of cases. A PNM I did a rec for two years ago has a younger sister who will be going through recruitment this fall. When younger sis was deciding on colleges, older sis said, "If you come to my school, just plan on being in XYZ Sorority with me." Maybe others here have seen different results and can give you more encouragement and advice.

I will say, all of the women I know facing this did pledge the same house as their bio sisters. Out of the six I know from 2011 and 2012 fall recruitment, four are completely thrilled, judging by what their mothers tell me and the pictures I see on FB! Only one was truly not happy and ended up dropping. The other one was okay with it, but once her sister graduated two semesters later, felt like she was no longer "in her sister's shadow" and could make her own place and not feel like everyone saw her as so-and-so's baby sister.

If you try again, I would caution you to expect similar results -- possibly even harsher cuts since you'll be (I assume) a sophomore. If your sister will still be an active, hopefully you will get an opportunity there and will be open to it. Again, maybe others can share different outcomes for someone in your situation. Best wishes to you!

[KSUViolet06]

It very well could have.

Chapters have to make a large number of cuts very early on, so sometimes, a chapter will look at a girl who is an in-house to another chapter and assume (sometimes, wrongfully) that she is going to join her sister's chapter and release her early. Like "well, we have to cut X number of women, and Suzie is probably going Sigma, so we can just cut her now."

In the case of in-house legacies being cut by their own sister's chapter, it happens. Many times it has to do with the fact that Sister is not super well liked among members, or other internal issues. Other times, the legacy is NOTHING like Sister and the chapter members aren't interested. Or there are tons of legacies and there are other in-houses that they were more interested in.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It very well could have.

Chapters have to make a large number of cuts very early on, so sometimes, a chapter will look at a girl who is an in-house to another chapter and assume (sometimes, wrongfully) that she is going to join her sister's chapter and release her early. Like "well, we have to cut X number of women, and Suzie is probably going Sigma, so we can just cut her now."

In the case of in-house legacies being cut by their own sister's chapter, it happens. Many times it has to do with the fact that Sister is not super well liked among members, or other internal issues. Other times, the legacy is NOTHING like Sister and the chapter members aren't interested. Or there are tons of legacies and there are other in-houses that they were more interested in.

Being cut when your sister is currently in the chapter would be highly unusual, IMHO, in the South. That would take a serious risk management issue since the resulting drama would tear the house apart.

[ChioLu]

The OP asked if it affected her chances with the other groups.

While it may not have anything to do with the fantastic PNM, it usually does make a difference. Chapters have taken outstanding PNM's to Pref, who were biological sisters to an active member at another house, only to have the PNM pledge the house of her bio sister. When another GLO takes 1 of our bio sister PNMs to Pref, I always think (to myself) "that chapter is delusional". And, there have been times that it's the SAME house the older sister went to for Pref!

In 15+ years of being an Advisor, I only know of ONE CASE where a PNM pledged somewhere other than her sister's chapter. She told each sorority on Open House Day, that while she loved her sister, they were so different and she didn't see herself in her sister's house.
Did that help? One can only guess.
(I asked her b/c I thought it was an unique situation. But, I doubt she told her sister's chapter that statement ...)

[carnation]

I think that *because of required cut numbers*, you see many more in-house legacies cut early on that you did 10 or more years ago. I've known several fantastic IHLs who were cut by almost every other group after first parties because the other groups figured they'd pledge their sister's house. Not fair but understandable--they decide to concentrate on girls they think they have a better chance of getting.

[AOII Angel]

To the OP, if you want to be in a sorority, I think your best chance is to join your sister's group. Honestly, you may have ruined your chances, however, by dropping out of recruitment. As a legacy who joined my sister's chapter a short year after she pledged, I understand what it is like to go through recruitment and not fall in love with your sibling's group. I was cut by every other group on campus and thankfully took my bid to AOII and never looked back. I thank my lucky stars every day that AOII took me in. What you see in recruitment is not what every day sorority life is all about, and honestly, if you can't find a group of women that you can bond with in the groups as large as they are in SEC chapters, there is something wrong with you. My best advice to you is to call your sister and see if it's not too late for you to join her as a sister. Does it suck that she got to go first and get her pick of chapters? Yeah, but who knows how things would have turned out if you'd done things differently, and as we tell women who are cut for other reasons...it's better to just move on and enjoy your life.

[AnchorAlumna]

I'm going to disagree here.
For Recruitment 1, yes - the active sister in the chapter would mean most other groups would cut you.
But for Recruitment 2 - I don't think it has to come down to 1 group. Obviously you were not happy with the prospect of pledging your sister's sorority, hence dropping out.
If you decide to go for it again, make sure your rec writers and the girls you meet at first round know that you are looking for a different experience than your sister's.
If that is, in fact, what you want.

[SEC Legacy]

Yes, I do believe had I not dropped from rush my sister's chapter would have taken me. However, I was in my sister's shadow throughout high school and we were always in the same activities. I wanted to make my own way despite us attending the same college but it just didn't work out.

At such a huge school, I don't think everyone would even have known we were sisters had I not stupidly revealed it on my rush application:/

[AnchorAlumna]

Many of your rec writers would have known and told their chapters. And word gets around incredibly fast.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by SEC Legacy

Yes, I do believe had I not dropped from rush my sister's chapter would have taken me. However, I was in my sister's shadow throughout high school and we were always in the same activities. I wanted to make my own way despite us attending the same college but it just didn't work out.

At such a huge school, I don't think everyone would even have known we were sisters had I not stupidly revealed it on my rush application:/

I wouldn't assume that. Even at giant schools with big Greek systems and huge sororities, word about in house legacies gets around especially if there are a lot of people from your school or town there.

[DubaiSis]

The ship has sailed for this semester but I'd have suggested you actively seeking any informal opportunities that were out there. As an alternative, I would probably start a whisper campaign among your friends who are in sororities now that you are VERY interested in pledging a sorority different from your sister's. Your in-chapter friends are going to make the difference in your sophomore rush outcome so you want to (secretly, subtly) to make sure they know what's what. But you don't want to blast it from the mountaintops.

And by the way I had two chapter sisters who had bio sisters in different chapters at the same time we were in school. So it can definitely happen!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by SEC Legacy

Yes, I do believe had I not dropped from rush my sister's chapter would have taken me. However, I was in my sister's shadow throughout high school and we were always in the same activities. I wanted to make my own way despite us attending the same college but it just didn't work out.

At such a huge school, I don't think everyone would even have known we were sisters had I not stupidly revealed it on my rush application:/

I know that feeling, as well. College is a time to spread you wings. Joining your sister's group doesn't mean you have to stay in her shadow. My sister and I actually roomed together throughout college, but I was easily able to make my mark in our chapter out from under my sister's thumb. Just a perspective from someone who went in completely not wanting to join the same group as her sister who had a great outcome. Open your heart to the idea that it may not be so terrible and you may end up right where you need to be. There may be a chance at another group, but with your legacy status AND upper classman status, you're going to have to work it.

[Titchou]

If it's actually is an SEC school, they would have known you are a legacy whether you put it down or not. They find out these things so it wouldn't have made a difference. And they know now anyway so you're just going to have to live with it.