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Old 08-02-2012, 12:08 PM
tcsparky tcsparky is offline
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telling her the truth

OK folks, I want to know if I am totally off-base with advice I am giving a guy friend. He is 42, she is 37. He has been dating her for 3 months. He wants to break up with her this weekend.

He does not want to break up with her because ever since their first date she has wanted to be glued to his hip 24/7. Not because after 5 weeks she started saying "I love you" several times during each date. Nor because after 6 weeks she gave him a key to her house and asked for a key to his. It's not because she's plain and quiet (as opposed to him- he's very outgoing and good looking). It's not because he is unfulllfilled in bed. It's not even because he has been unhappy in the relationship since they started seeing each other.

It is because his extremely hot ex-girlfriend agreed to get back together with him.

I have advocated telling his current gf the truth- I am breaking up with you because I want to get back together with my ex. I think this will prevent a lot of the doubt and unhappiness his gf will go through trying to figure out what she did wrong and what she needs to change to get him back. It might even prevent those tearful phone calls promising to "fix it", lose weight, do better, etc. In spite of her relationship inadequacies, this is not her fault. My friend would have continued dating her just to keep from having to break up with her and make her unhappy. I figure she can be mad at him instead of agonizing over it being her fault.

I also explained to him that the fact he continued to flirt with his ex girlfriend the entire time means he is a louse and his gf is well rid of him anyway. So I am advocated a clean, truthful break.

Am I giving the wrong advice?
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