how to make an impression?

hopeful2008 · #1 01-27-2009, 10:51 PM

hi guys,

im a freshman rushing at a university with not too many sororities but a lot of girls this year (think 1 sorority for roughly 40 rushees)

i went to both of meet and greet events, and i just went through one formal rush party yesterday...now that i think of it, even though i asked many open ended questions and tried my best in active listening, im still afraid that my conversation was quite conventional.

i don't think i said anything that impressed/made a lasting and individual impression at any of the parties, and i dont personally know any girls in any groups

im usually quite outgoing and open, but the fact that i was talking with all those other girls in the same room was just quite intimidating. i only have one more formal party left before pref, and i would really really appreciate any tips in how to make a lasting impression during those parties (we only have around 30 minutes in each sorority) how many people should i talk to? should i go for as many people as i can?

what kind of questions can i ask about? i searched the forum and read a few posts. i know open ended questions are the best, but is there any specific quesitons that really made an impression for you guys?

thank you so much!

ASTalumna06 · #2 01-27-2009, 11:15 PM

First of all, dress to stand out. But not so much so that you look weird. Wear an interesting piece of jewelry. Or add some cute accessories to a boring dress. Wear a bright color. Etc.

As long as you're asking open-ended questions, you should be fine. But look for fun things to talk about. But also understand that these fun questions usually come from the boring ones. A question about where the sister is from can turn into a discussion about where she's traveled and where she'd like to go in the future. A question about her major can lead to her telling you all about her dream job that you know nothing about.

Safe questions: ask about the sorority.

Don't ask things like, "What's your philanthropy? Do you like it?" ... Instead, ask things like, "Can you tell me a little about your new member program?" ... Or, "Are you girls close with other ABC chapters in the area?" Sound interested in more than just the "basics".

Also... ellaborate when giving answers. I'm not saying that you're not already doing this, but remember: the sisters are there to learn more about you, too. And some of them are just as desperate as you are to get the conversation flowing. The more information you give them, the more you'll both have to work with.

GammaPhi88 · #3 01-27-2009, 11:17 PM

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...s+conversation

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=54403

hopeful2008 · #4 01-27-2009, 11:21 PM

thanks so much!

the majority of the questions i asked at party #1 are kinda safe...do you think i still stand a chance if i ask more fun questions in the 2nd party?

hopeful2008 · #5 01-27-2009, 11:22 PM

thanks gamma phi 88!

KSUViolet06 · #6 01-27-2009, 11:38 PM

Don't get so wrapped up in, "OMG, what will I ask to make them seem interested? Do they like me? Am I asking fun enough questions?" that you make yourself nervous and come off as awkward. You also don't want to the event to become "21 million questions."

Just relax and let the conversation just flow naturally.

GammaPhi88 · #7 01-27-2009, 11:44 PM

Don't be so desperate to find fun, offbeat, or memorable questions that you overthink it and come off as creepy. I've seen it happen...let the normal, safe conversation take you somewhere fun; you don't have to make the initial question fun.

For me, a normal conversation about dining halls with my sister (then rusher) turned into a conversation about a love of ketchup...we still joke about that conversation. It's great if you get into fun offbeat tangents. Just don't ask, "OMG! Do you like ketchup?" You'll be forever known as ketchup girl.

ASTalumna06 · #8 01-28-2009, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

Just don't ask, "OMG! Do you like ketchup?" You'll be forever known as ketchup girl.

I would HOPE that no one would just randomly ask this question. lol

But like I, and others here have said, ask the normal questions and fun conversations will come out of them. A few years ago, one of the PNMs asked me what tv shows I like. I said that Seinfeld was my favorite. Turns out it was hers, too, and we spent about 20 minutes rattling off quotes from the show and laughing hysterically. She joined the sorority, eventually chose for me to be her big, and I nicknamed her 'Seven' (if you've seen the episode of Seinfeld I'm referring to, you'll understand).

Sometimes you'll find common ground, sometimes you won't. You can't please everyone, and you can't click with everyone, either. Just relax, and be as memorable as possible without seeming like you're trying too hard.

KSUViolet06 · #9 01-28-2009, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

Don't be so desperate to find fun, offbeat, or memorable questions that you overthink it and come off as creepy. I've seen it happen...let the normal, safe conversation take you somewhere fun; you don't have to make the initial question fun.

For me, a normal conversation about dining halls with my sister (then rusher) turned into a conversation about a love of ketchup...we still joke about that conversation. It's great if you get into fun offbeat tangents. Just don't ask, "OMG! Do you like ketchup?" You'll be forever known as ketchup girl.

YES. Be careful to not go overboard and try to be too "fun and spontaneous." It can come off as weird/awkward.

libramunoz · #10 01-28-2009, 12:04 PM

I'd offer that if you have a scarf (which is a underrated piece of clothing) wear it with a nice suit. It can change your outfit and help you to standout in many ways.
In talking with the sorority members, yes, it can seem quite intimidating, but you can easily find some common ground when you least expect it. In being safe, talk about things like going to the museum or wanting to see a certain exhibit or having seen one. You never know, one of the members, like me (who loves museums), may be overhearing you and want to talk to you about the exhibits.
Just remember, breathe, and be yourself, and remember, it's o.k. to feel nervous, even the members felt the same way as you are feeling right then.

vibluedreamz · #11 01-28-2009, 06:42 PM

Ladies,

Your advice was so helpful to me although it was not directed to me. But I have one question. I was invited to a Zeta function next month which will involve fellowship with their brother franternity. I am very excited to go. The invitation states to wear zeta/sigma paraphanelia. I know that I shouldn't wear these items because I am not a member, but would it be okay for me to wear the colors?

greeneyedZTA · #12 01-28-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vibluedreamz

Ladies,

Your advice was so helpful to me although it was not directed to me. But I have one question. I was invited to a Zeta function next month which will involve fellowship with their brother franternity. I am very excited to go. The invitation states to wear zeta/sigma paraphanelia. I know that I shouldn't wear these items because I am not a member, but would it be okay for me to wear the colors?

ZTA doesn't have a brother fraternity ... is this something unique to your campus?

VandalSquirrel · #13 01-28-2009, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greeneyedZTA

ZTA doesn't have a brother fraternity ... is this something unique to your campus?

I think she's talking about Zeta Phi Beta.

FSUZeta · #14 01-28-2009, 09:17 PM

i too think that she is referring to zeta phi beta, not zeta tau alpha.

from what i have read on greekchat, you are correct in thinking that you should refrain from wearing a sorority's para if you are not a member. maybe one of our nphc gcers will answer your question for you?

DrPhil · #15 01-28-2009, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vibluedreamz

Ladies,

Your advice was so helpful to me although it was not directed to me. But I have one question. I was invited to a Zeta function next month which will involve fellowship with their brother franternity. I am very excited to go. The invitation states to wear zeta/sigma paraphanelia. I know that I shouldn't wear these items because I am not a member, but would it be okay for me to wear the colors?

LOL--we can't answer that question for you. Maybe a Zeta will chime in...maybe not.