Important, Personal Question!!

AMK86 · #1 09-10-2008, 02:10 AM

Hi everyone!
So I'm a transfer student, and I am really interested in pledging a sorority. It has been something I have wanted to do for a really long time, and after our "Meet the Greeks" event it got me even more excited for the prospect of being in one.
My main concern/question is that I am fairly overweight. It is something I am working on changing, but it is just a fact of who I currently am. Aside from that I am very friendly, outgoing, I am the typical girly-girl, I love fashion and clothes, I take very good care of myself, I have good grades/GPA, and I love to smile and meet new people. All of these things are qualities I have been told, and have read from other threads on this site, are important for rush.
My question is, that I hope will be answered honestly, will my size hurt my chances to be part of a sorority?
I'm sure there are exceptions to all rules, and different schools/sororities look for different people, but I guess I'm trying to see that generally would this be detrimental to my making it?
Thank you very much for your help!

PANTHERTEKE · #2 09-10-2008, 03:15 AM

Will it hurt your chances of being part of a sorority? It might
Will it hurt your changes of being part of what "is considered" a top sorority? Yes.

Sad I guess, but true. No matter what campus, there are always sororities that pledge only the prettiest girl- everything else that matters (like GPA) is secondary.

If that or those sororities bid a girl who doesn't "fit in" with the external look of the chapter, then it raises eyebrows and for the wrong reason- people start to think "what happened to XYZ this year?" or "damn, XYZ is on the decline" and members of that sorority don't want people thinking that; even if it isn't true.

So more likely than not, you'll get a bid. Now to which sorority is the question.

Sorry if it was too honest. :]

ETA: I forgot to mention that this also depends on which school you're at and how competitive it is. If it's a big Greek school and many girls go through rush each year, then it'll hurt your chances even more. But if your school's Greek life isn't that big and there are obviously 1 or 2 chapters known for bidding the "big girls" then what I said above pretty much still applies.

loveinxi · #3 09-10-2008, 03:24 AM

What was said above is sort of true. A lot of it depends on how you present yourself during rush. Like how hard you try. If you spend two hours getting ready and have on a really cute dress/nice outfit with matching shoes and your hair and makeup are flawless then that will definitely stand out that you take care of yourself and are concerned with your appearance. Like was said above some sororities will only take the tall skinny blondes, but more often then not there is at least one or two overweight girls in every sorority. Its all about you and how you present yourself. Besides would you want to be in a sorority that didnt accept you as you?

probably not, at least I wouldnt.

breathesgelatin · #4 09-10-2008, 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PANTHERTEKE

Will it hurt your chances of being part of a sorority? It might
Will it hurt your changes of being part of what "is considered" a top sorority? Yes.

Sad I guess, but true. No matter what campus, there are always sororities that pledge only the prettiest girl- everything else that matters (like GPA) is secondary.

If that or those sororities bid a girl who doesn't "fit in" with the external look of the chapter, then it raises eyebrows and for the wrong reason- people start to think "what happened to XYZ this year?" or "damn, XYZ is on the decline" and members of that sorority don't want people thinking that; even if it isn't true.

So more likely than not, you'll get a bid. Now to which sorority is the question.

Sorry if it was too honest. :]

ETA: I forgot to mention that this also depends on which school you're at and how competitive it is. If it's a big Greek school and many girls go through rush each year, then it'll hurt your chances even more. But if your school's Greek life isn't that big and there are obviously 1 or 2 chapters known for bidding the "big girls" then what I said above pretty much still applies.

I agree with this. But let's say you're George Bush's daughter (or Bill Gates's, or something). You'd probably still get a bid to the top house.

Good luck to you! I am really hoping you find a great home.

PhoenixAzul · #5 09-10-2008, 05:42 AM

What I think is important, in light of the (harsh, but unfortunately true on some campuses) advice you're getting above, is that you realize that if a sorority is going to discriminate against you based on your size or appearance...then you probably don't want to be part of that so called "sisterhood". If a sorority extends you a bid, they extend you a bid based on who you are right now, who they believe you can grow into in the course of your membership, and what you will bring to the sorority.

So go out there, best foot forward, and see what happens. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Good luck!

sarahsmilehawk · #6 09-10-2008, 01:59 PM

To sort of echo the posts above: Appearances and first impressions matter. Nobody will cut you BECAUSE you're overweight, but some women just won't like you as much as they might like a thinner person. It's usually very abstract and subtle. Few houses have "No fat chicks" in their needs assessment.

And, in my experience, a very well groomed, well dressed overweight girl does better than a skinny girl who hasn't taken the time to do her hair and makeup or wear flattering clothing.

That said: You should still do recruitment! Sororities want fun, involved, motivated women with good grades and activities. If you fit those criteria, you'll do well.

texas*princess · #7 09-10-2008, 02:13 PM

I think the words above may be true on some campuses that are medium-to-ultra-competitive, but there ARE some campuses that are way more relaxed than that. Not all campuses have Barbie lookalikes.

I didn't get what campus you are at, so what the above posters have said might not even apply to your campus.

If you are going to school at like Texas or LSU or Auburn or FSU, then yea, I would def. think so.

KSUViolet06 · #8 09-10-2008, 03:52 PM

You really have nothing to lose by going through and seeing what happens.

baci · #9 09-10-2008, 03:56 PM

ITA^^

Remain positive and keep your chin up.

It can be cruel out there depeneding where you go through recruitment, but don't let them drag you down.

Please come back and let us know how you did! Best of Luck to you.

LPIDelta · #10 09-10-2008, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PANTHERTEKE

Will it hurt your chances of being part of a sorority? It might
Will it hurt your changes of being part of what "is considered" a top sorority? Yes.

Yeah, as others have intimated--this won't be true at all campuses. At my alma mater, it clearly wasn't, as there were women of all sizes in all chapters. I've also seen it on the campus I advise. More and more chapters are looking for well-rounded women who can present themselves well. I like to call it looking "put together". Is your hair done? Are your nails and toes painted? Are you wearing a sharp looking outfit? Are you wearing makeup and accessorizing appropriately? Are you well spoken? Is your resume full of interesting activities and good grades? Your size doesn't matter for those things.

I encourage you to give it a try. Of course weight may be an issue--but then you have to ask yourself whether you really wanted to be friends with such people anyway, right?

ASTalumna06 · #11 09-10-2008, 05:07 PM

I can tell you that my chapter, and all of the chapters on my campus, are very diverse. We have some girls who are super-skinny and some who are a little overweight. We had one girl who is now modeling, and we have one girl who, while she might be the heaviest girl in the sorority, also does more for the chapter than most of the other sisters.

I guess it depends on what the chapters are looking for and who they choose to accept.

If I were to tell you that there aren't any chapters out there that will turn you down for being overweight, I'd be lying. Just look at websites of some chapters and you can tell that they only choose the prettiest girls on campus. Hell, I'm really thin, and even I find the thought of having to go through recruitment at those chapters to be intimidating. Is there something wrong them having these girls that fit a specific mold? No, if that's what they're looking for, then that's their prerogative.

But all of the girls that we've accepted into our chapter have looked presentable and clearly take care of themselves. Does everyone have their bad days? Yes. But during recruitment, you're trying to put your best foot forward. So take the advice of the other people here, make yourself all pretty (hair, make-up, etc.), and participate in recruitment. Because if it's really something you want to do, you'll always regret it if you don't.

And if you feel comfortable enough doing this, laugh about it. Sometimes, the funniest people I have met are the ones who can laugh at themselves and joke around about things that they see to be a flaw. Or.. if you'd like, talk about how you plan to fix the problem. Don't delve into anything or give details, but let's say someone asks you about your hobbies or things you like to do. You could something like, "I just started swimming twice a week and I love it." If you want people to know that you're improving yourself, then do it without making it too obvious.

And remember that everyone's freaking out, and everyone is going to see an imperfection or shortcoming in themselves, or think that they may have done something wrong while going through recruitment. Just keep a positive attitude and realize that if a chapter doesn't want you, then you shouldn't be upset. It just means that you weren't a good match.

And keep us updated on what happens!

DGTess · #12 09-10-2008, 05:48 PM

Ditto the "it depends where you're going to school". Look at the number of threads on this board that have the phrase "cute girls" in it. And look at how many girls get cut after 20 minutes talking to 2-3 sisters in big, competitive systems.

I won't get on to my soapbox about how this system discriminates against personalities in favor of looks and resumes, that's another rant entirely. But it explains why the advice you've been given reflects reality.

(Yeah, I've had the same issue most of my life. Except for the working on it part; I'm happy with who/what I am.)

Now, at systems where you can get to know the sisters, probably less of an issue.

FSUZeta · #13 09-10-2008, 06:02 PM

so, to maximize your chances, whether your campus traditionally expects the pnms to secure their own recommendations, try to have them lined up for yourself.these would allow the chapters to get to know you on paper, and see how your talents could enhance their chapter. hopefully you were involved in some organizations at your former campus, and have become involved in some activities on your present campus. good luck to you.

ohMycron · #14 09-10-2008, 10:09 PM

You might as well give it a shot! Everyone who said you have nothing to lose is correct!

Javalover · #15 09-10-2008, 11:01 PM

Self confidence will be one of your best assets. If YOU like yourself, others will, too. That comes across through eye contact, smiles, and poise. Spend a little extra time perfecting your small-talk skills, anticipate some of the topics and decide how to present yourself in the best possible way. Be the best you you can be! That's all you can ask of yourself. My most sincere best wishes!! Keep us posted.