Need some advice

TB411 · #1 03-01-2007, 04:52 PM

Hey everyone,

Im pledging for a fraternity this Sunday and Im pretty nervous about it. The reason why Im nervous is because Im a pretty shy guy only when it comes to meeting people. Once I know them, Im quite outgoing. Ive been going to some of the parties and stuff and I met a bunch of the brothers but I havnt talked to them enough to feel as if Im really become friends with them. They know Im pledging and they always seem excited to get a new pledgie. The sisters are also excited as well. However, I still feel like I wont fit in. Does anyone have any advice to give me or if it gets easier after you pledge?

AChiOhSnap · #2 03-01-2007, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TB411

Hey everyone,

Im pledging for a fraternity this Sunday and Im pretty nervous about it. The reason why Im nervous is because Im a pretty shy guy only when it comes to meeting people. Once I know them, Im quite outgoing. Ive been going to some of the parties and stuff and I met a bunch of the brothers but I havnt talked to them enough to feel as if Im really become friends with them. They know Im pledging and they always seem excited to get a new pledgie. The sisters are also excited as well. However, I still feel like I wont fit in. Does anyone have any advice to give me or if it gets easier after you pledge?

Generally, yes, once you pledge you'll probably feel more comfortable with the guys in the chapter as you develop relationships with them.

But I'm confused by your terminology. What fraternity is this? Have you already been extended a bid or are you still rushing? Is this a co-ed fraternity or are the "sisters" you speak of a "little sister" group? I'm sorry, I'm just really confused.

TB411 · #3 03-01-2007, 05:05 PM

The sisters I was talking about is the sorority associated with the fraternity. What I intended about the sorority was Im kind of nervous meeting the girls as well. Im pledging for the theta gamma fraternity. Pledging starts this Sunday and Im not sure how it works. We havnt had to go to a rush party yet and I have not recieved a bid but Ive been going to the frat parties and they know I want to pledge. Maybe that helps...

TB411 · #4 03-01-2007, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chick2007

Hi,
I am a member of a sorority and I can tell you that your pledge period is meant to be a learning experience, not just learning about the fraternity and its ideals but also getting to know the other pledges and your brothers. Also, going through rush can be overwhelming, I don't know if you are rushing for a National Fraternity or a Local but the main thing to remember is to be yourself. Don't act different just to impress the brother's of a certain fraternity you want to be accepted into. At times it is very normal to feel like you don't fit in but also try and put yourself in your fraternity's brothers shoes, they may be shy as well even if they have been in the fraternity for a long time and know everyone. Chances are you are not the only one feeling this way. Usually your pledge class is the group that bonds the most at first because you see each other frequently and you know them the best. You are doing good by getting to know the actives but as you get to know them more, you will feel more comfortable opening up and you should feel better about things as time passes by. If you are given a bid into the fraternity, next semester your fraternity will take a new pledge class and you'll know what's it's like to be in the new pledges shoes per se as well as what it feels like to be on the other side as an active brother. But I encourage you to not let things let you down, hopefully you will wind up in the fraternity of your choice. I hope this helps.

Hayley

Thank you very much... that makes me feel a lot better

AChiOhSnap · #5 03-01-2007, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TB411

The sisters I was talking about is the sorority associated with the fraternity. What I intended about the sorority was Im kind of nervous meeting the girls as well. Im pledging for the theta gamma fraternity. Pledging starts this Sunday and Im not sure how it works. We havnt had to go to a rush party yet and I have not recieved a bid but Ive been going to the frat parties and they know I want to pledge. Maybe that helps...

Be careful with your terminology! You are not "pledging" until you have been extended and accepted a bid. If you go to the fraternity's rush parties and misuse the terminology, the brothers could get the mistaken idea that you think you're "owed" a bid or you think you're "automatically" in the chapter. You are RUSHING, not PLEDGING at this point.

TB411 · #6 03-01-2007, 05:16 PM

ohhh ok... thanks for the heads up

TB411 · #7 03-01-2007, 05:17 PM

Whats the difference between a rush and pledging

TB411 · #8 03-01-2007, 05:21 PM

Thank you!

MysticCat · #9 03-01-2007, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TB411

Whats the difference between a rush and pledging

Quote:

Originally Posted by chick2007

Rush is what you are about to start going to now, where you are visiting the fraternities and trying to decide which one you fit best in. You are participating in rush to hopefully get a bid which is an invitation to join a certain fraternity. You may or may not receive a bid at the culmination of rush week. Hopefully you will and we wish you the best of luck!

And when you accept that bid, then you will pledge the fraternity -- the first step in becoming a member.

Good luck!

Denise_DPhiE · #10 03-01-2007, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TB411

They know Im pledging and they always seem excited to get a new pledgie.

This is a train wreck. Pledgie???

AChiOhSnap · #11 03-01-2007, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denise_DPhiE

This is a train wreck. Pledgie???

I would strongly advise TB411 to browse through old GC threads to get an idea of what Greek Life is like. He seems like he really needs to research the fraternity experience before rushing, as he's apparently unaware of basic fraternity procedure and vocabulary.