Two Weddings on the Same Date!!

[kansas13]

Ok, so here’s the problem (actually it’s Mr. kansas13 problem, but it has to be solved)…..

Back in Oct. 2004 when we got married a friend of mine from college and Mr. kansas13 best friend/best man hooked up at our wedding. The only problem was my friend lived out of state. Before that my friend was contemplating on moving up here because she found a couple jobs at a good company. One of my best friends and bridesmaid worked at the company that my friend was looking to get a job at, so basically she put in a good word for her, she got the job, and BAM my friend moved up here.

Flash forward two years later to today. Both of these friends, the friend from college who was dating Mr. kansas13 best friend and my best friend that stood up in our wedding, got engaged at the beginning of this year. The problem was they were both looking at same day…7/7/07.

My best friend was hesitant on doing so, so she took my husband with her and her fiancée to the tasting at the place she wanted to have the wedding at. It was there that her and her fiancée asked my husband to be a groomsman in their wedding, which my husband of course accepted.

My best friend was also afraid that Mr. kansas13 best friend would ask him to be his best man (which he had not yet) and they would have the wedding on the same day. That is why she was hesitant about booking the place on the same day, but it was under the impression between both girls that whoever booked that day first would get it (and my friend from college would have done the exact same thing), so my husband told my best friend to go ahead and book it. The first thing that my best friend did, which she did not have to, was call Mr. kansas13 best friend and my friend from college and tell them that she booked 7/7/07. Of course they were not happy at all and have not called or spoken to her since, even after my best friend has tried many times to reach out to them.

Not even two hours later Mr. kansas13 best friend called him and told him, “You know you are the best man in my wedding,” trying to cover up that three months after his engagment he still hadn't asked him while his soon to be wife asked all her girls before they were even enganged. My husband did not assume he was the best man because A) he has a brother and B) he told of us of another friend he was thinking of asking.

To make a long story short…to late…my college friend and Mr. kansas13 best friend booked their wedding the same day as my best friend knowing that my husband would have to make a choice. I am the matron of honor in my best friends wedding.

So what should Mr. kansas13 do? Stand up in my best friends wedding, which she did technically asked him first and had the date first, or his best friends wedding? This situation really does suck!!

[BobbyTheDon]

Not a good situation to be in. I have no idea what you should do. Perhaps hire a contract killer?

[AlphaFrog]

Well, since she asked first, had the date first, and that's the wedding you are going to...my first inkling is to have him go to your best friend's wedding.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

You go to your bf's wedding, and your husband goes to his bf's wedding. It would have been so much easier if your bfs married each other.

[kansas13]

Originally Posted by BobbyTheDon

Not a good situation to be in. I have no idea what you should do. Perhaps hire a contract killer?

Haha!! Thanks for the laugh Bobby!!

Originally Posted by Peaches-n-Cream

You go to your bf's wedding, and your husband goes to his bf's wedding. It would have been so much easier if your bfs married each other.

Funny you should say this, they did date a couple of years ago...my husband's best friend has dated two of my best friends.

I am not pushing any choice on Mr. kansas13...I actually gave him the option of going to neither wedding, but I believe if he picks I think he should go with the person that not only asked him first, but actually asked him. We joke around that his best friend didn't actually asked him, he just told him.

My mother-in-law is actually pushing him to go to my bf wedding cause she doesn't appreciate what his bf and my college friend are doing to him (well, either do I), but I also think she wants to go to the wedding that I am standing up in, but knows she has to go to the one her son is in. So if he is in my bf's then she can go to the one she wants to.

[AOIIBrandi]

What your husband's bf is doing is crappy. I think since your husband already accepted the invitation to stand up in your bf's wedding then that's the one he should go to.

[kansas13]

Originally Posted by AXiD670

Personally I think both couples are being extremely selfish. Why is it consideration for others goes out the window when it comes to weddings?

My bf did take my husband feelings into consideration when she talked to him about being hesitant on having the wedding that day. It was the other couple that I believe didn't take his feelings to heart!!

Originally Posted by AOIIBrandi

What your husband's bf is doing is crappy. I think since your husband already accepted the invitation to stand up in your bf's wedding then that's the one he should go to.

I totally agree with you and I have told Mr. kansas13 that, but I told him that he had to make the decision. I don't want to be responsible for ending his 14 year friendship with his bf.

[amanda6035]

I agree with the whole "she asked first" thing...but to put the shoe on the other foot, if my best friend was getting married, but I had already been asked to be a bridesmaid in my fiances best friends wedding...I think I would have to choose MY best friend (though I would try to get her to change it). And my husbands best friend and his fiance, though they would be a little upset, "should" understand. I could NEVER turn down MY best friends wedding for someone

but I most agree with AxiD670 - the second couple should either change the date or do it with enough hours to spare that they can make it to both. It's really selfish of his best friend to expect him to back out of a previous agreement with someone else when the best friend sat on his ass and didnt do the asking sooner. Besides, like you said - What about the brother?