Bad Alumna Involvement

[sir_fidel_rocks]

How do you handle alumnae who are putting their negative $.02 in or who are telling new members the gossip of the chapter?

Originally Posted by sir_fidel_rocks

How do you handle alumnae who are putting their negative $.02 in or who are telling new members the gossip of the chapter?

It depends. Are you a collegian or an alumna?

Are these alums recent alums? I'm assuming they are because I've seen it happen firsthand.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by sir_fidel_rocks

How do you handle alumnae who are putting their negative $.02 in or who are telling new members the gossip of the chapter?

Well, once the NMs are initiated and become more integrated with the chapter, they're going to find out the gossip, anyway.

Are they trying to get them to stop pledging or what? If it's a personal grudge - i.e. an alum saying "Sandy is a backstabbing ho with no fashion sense" - then that should be stopped. But if they're telling them something that is the truth - i.e. "the reason we don't have mixers w/ XYZ is because they trashed our president's apartment last year" then quite frankly I don't see the harm in NMs knowing that. They shouldn't be sheltered like children.

BTW OTW, I am referring to the Sandy I know IRL, not you.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Well, once the NMs are initiated and become more integrated with the chapter, they're going to find out the gossip, anyway.

Are they trying to get them to stop pledging or what? If it's a personal grudge - i.e. an alum saying "Sandy is a backstabbing ho with no fashion sense" - then that should be stopped. But if they're telling them something that is the truth - i.e. "the reason we don't have mixers w/ XYZ is because they trashed our president's apartment last year" then quite frankly I don't see the harm in NMs knowing that. They shouldn't be sheltered like children.

BTW OTW, I am referring to the Sandy I know IRL, not you.

Hahaha...somehow I had a feeling you weren't talking about me.

Where are these alums gossiping to NMs anyway? At official functions?

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by OTW

Hahaha...somehow I had a feeling you weren't talking about me.

Where are these alums gossiping to NMs anyway? At official functions?

Was going to post, but oh never mind!

[ChildoftheHorn]

I have a friend whose GLO is trying to get rid of their current adviser. She is really nothing but a pain to say the least. They asked if she could change some of her attitudes to be more positive, but no such luck. Right now, they are trying to work above her and get a new adviser.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by ChildoftheHorn

I have a friend whose GLO is trying to get rid of their current adviser. She is really nothing but a pain to say the least. They asked if she could change some of her attitudes to be more positive, but no such luck. Right now, they are trying to work above her and get a new adviser.

Unfortunately, it's not always as easy as just "getting a new advisor". You have to have someone willing to do the job. For us, it's a HUGE job that needs someone with a lot of free time. But yes, a negative attitude should not be allowed.

OP, are there other alums who can deal with the situation? I would suggest using them if possible. Alumnae are involved with a chapter to be supportive and if they aren't being that then they need to just stay away. And that will go over better for the chapter if it comes from another alumnae.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

Unfortunately, it's not always as easy as just "getting a new advisor". You have to have someone willing to do the job. For us, it's a HUGE job that needs someone with a lot of free time. But yes, a negative attitude should not be allowed.

OP, are there other alums who can deal with the situation? I would suggest using them if possible. Alumnae are involved with a chapter to be supportive and if they aren't being that then they need to just stay away. And that will go over better for the chapter if it comes from another alumnae.

Correct, they are Advisors and do not run the Chapter.

They can be fired and then try to find another advisor. It may be hard, but it can be done!

It sounds like a change is needed!

But, the chapter is the deciding factor! The Chapter runs the operation, not so let them know it!

[ChildoftheHorn]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

But, the chapter is the deciding factor! The Chapter runs the operation, not so let them know it!

Unfortunately for these girls, this woman gas the executive power to reject any projects/events/etc. without notice (part of her ability through the sorority). This especially applies to rush, where she gets to approve everything right before - from decorations to plans. So, if you spent time making 500 snowflakes (she knew it was being done beforehand) and then put them up - she could tell you to take them down (and has done things like this).You can see where a negative attitude really gets troublesome.

She may be a regional prez, I have no idea. Personally, I don't want to. Then again, I know more than one org. that is going through this right now. It is sad how this happens...

[SWTXBelle]

I know from bitter experience that there are a lot of politics involved. My mother and I were co-chapter advisors to a struggling chapter - we made a 5 hour round trip every Monday night to attend meetings, and moved in with the chapter at rush. No one in the area was interested. We helped the chapter improve numbers, grades, involvement - you name it! I had to drop out upon the birth of my first child. My mother continued - until a local alumna pulled some strings, and my mother, after 3 years of dedicated service, was essentially fired. Oh - and the local alum? Quit in the middle of her first formal rush. The chapter quickly spirialed downhill and closed- and it was so unnecessary.

[ForeverRoses]

IF these people are just regular Alumnae, then see what your GLOs rules are about the alums attending events. Some GLOs have rules that alums can only come to chapter events if specifically invited by the chapter.

If they are advisors, then it is much harder. Unfortunately, it seems that that powers that be seem to listen to the advisors over the chapter members.

[LXAAlum]

Seems to me there is an obvious difference between what a fraternity adviser and sorority advisor, especially in this discussion.

From my own experience, an advisor needs to remember that is all they are, an "advisor," not a quasi-president, who makes decisions on what they "want" to see happen - that is NOT their job. An advisor should only ever override a chapters decision when either a decision the chapter makes is obviously illegal or unconstitutional. Otherwise, it is the members of the chapter that make decision on what events to plan, what decorations are used, how rush is conducted, etc....

I remember seeing lots of what I considered to be "wrong" decisions made, but, that is what the chapter decided was best for them, and none of the decisions were illegal, just a difference of opinion of what I liked and what they liked.

Besides, there is a learning opportunity for a chapter when the advisor posits their opinion, yet the chapter decides otherwise, and the decision turns out to be a bad one.

The basic, first, and most important piece of advice I always used as an advisor was this: "Allow mistakes to be made" - that is where the best learning and leadership development will come from.

Just my .02 - and no, I don't need change back....

[ChildoftheHorn]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I know from bitter experience that there are a lot of politics involved. My mother and I were co-chapter advisors to a struggling chapter - we made a 5 hour round trip every Monday night to attend meetings, and moved in with the chapter at rush. No one in the area was interested. We helped the chapter improve numbers, grades, involvement - you name it! I had to drop out upon the birth of my first child. My mother continued - until a local alumna pulled some strings, and my mother, after 3 years of dedicated service, was essentially fired. Oh - and the local alum? Quit in the middle of her first formal rush. The chapter quickly spirialed downhill and closed- and it was so unnecessary.

Wow, That is sad..... From what I have been told by their members, it is nothing like that. She kind-of just comes when she pleases and really messes things up. Their house mom is AMAZING though. Seriously, a great person. I would really like things to work out. Apparently, this has happened in the past for many other chapters on my campus. All the chapters currently at my school are very strong (good pan-hel management and university relations with sororities).

[Tom Earp]

Depending on the term of Adviser or Advising, I am surprised that ZTA would let this happen. ZTA is more open to Alumnea working with the local Chapter Associations and as you said a 5 hour drive is above the call of giving of time.

But, since none of us have been there, we do not know the full situation.

I get so upset at times as have being doing it for 42 years now, it gets frustrating to say the least!

So, you can only do what you can do and that is all.

[SWTXBelle]

Ooooo . . .she actually sounds more like the local alumna who messed everything up for our advising chapter. Hmmm . . . I suppose drugging her and sticking her in a closet next time she comes in and starts doing what she pleases would not be allowed. Tazering? My brother has always said we need "Toddler Tazer"!! - maybe "annoying alumna Tazer!"