Please RSVP

[DrPhil]

We know what RSVP technically means.

People have different ideas of what an RSVP really means, especially an RSVP "yes".

Please vote for what it means to you.

[DrPhil]

For me, an RSVP of "yes" means I will be there barring unforeseen circumstances.

Many years ago, for certain types of events, I used to RSVP "yes" and not show up if I changed my mind. I stopped doing that once I started hosting my own events and being annoyed when I prepared a venue, food, and drinks for a certain amount of people and a lot of items, food, and drinks were leftover because of no-shows. That taught me my lesson.

[AOIILisa]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

We know what RSVP technically means.

People have different ideas of what an RSVP really means, especially an RSVP "yes".

Please vote for what it means to you.

Yes, definitely... and LMAO at the last choice!

[WhiteRose1912]

Yes--as long as you don't wear white after Labor Day!!!!

[ComradesTrue]

I voted for definitely. I completely understand the logistics, time, money and effort put into hosting an event. It is downright rude to respond yes and not show.

I debated marking "unforeseen circumstances" but I feel that people will interpret that how they want and there may be a very broad definition for some. In other words, significant illness, death in family, etc are universal reasons and I how personally define unforeseen circumstances. However, I know people who would define it as "I don't have a baby-sitter" because they forgot to call one or "it's been a long week and I am tired."

What your poll doesn't include is if you are not able to go to a function do you respond "no" or just not respond? I always try to respond "no" just to let the host know that I received the invitation and to thank them for including me/us. It also doesn't leave the host wondering how many random people may show up who didn't RSVP. (because those exist too....)

[33girl]

Respond So Very Promptly, of course.

[DrPhil]

Who invited 33girl?

Originally Posted by ComradesTrue

I debated marking "unforeseen circumstances" but I feel that people will interpret that how they want and there may be a very broad definition for some. In other words, significant illness, death in family, etc are universal reasons and I how personally define unforeseen circumstances. However, I know people who would define it as "I don't have a baby-sitter" because they forgot to call one or "it's been a long week and I am tired."

Very good point. For me it means "emergency" or "unexpected unpreventable unavoidable unpredictable change of plans due to no fault of my own".

Originally Posted by ComradesTrue

What your poll doesn't include is if you are not able to go to a function do you respond "no" or just not respond? I always try to respond "no" just to let the host know that I received the invitation and to thank them for including me/us. It also doesn't leave the host wondering how many random people may show up who didn't RSVP. (because those exist too....)

Yeah, for family and friends' events I try to rsvp regardless of my response. I try to avoid just calling the person and telling them until after I have rsvp'd "no"--we want an official record of rsvp. I know people who will call or text their rsvp and I have to practically beg them to do the official rsvp. LOL. I also know people who submit errors on the number of guests and don't correct it. Blah!!

I think the difference is many hosts don't plan events based on "no", "maybe", and "not responds." Those people either show up or don't show up and get whatever's left or if there were a couple of extras just in case.

[TonyB06]

A yes RSVP means you are attending. If plans change after having sent the response, call and inform.

The rest is drama.

[AZTheta]

Unforeseen circumstances: death, illness, accident.

It doesn't mean "I got a better offer." "I just don't feel like showing up."

[FSUZeta]

I agree, RSVP "Yes" means that unless something unforeseen happens, I will be there. If something unforeseen happens, I will call to let you know and apologize that I had to change my plans.

[SoCalGirl]

RSVP related article I found: http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle...wqO/story.html

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Unforeseen circumstances: death, illness, accident.

It doesn't mean "I got a better offer." "I just don't feel like showing up."

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

I agree, RSVP "Yes" means that unless something unforeseen happens, I will be there. If something unforeseen happens, I will call to let you know and apologize that I had to change my plans.

Those things above. A lot of people assume RSVP is regrets only, which is dangerous.

[DrPhil]

Interesting article, SoCalGirl.

Originally Posted by AGDee

...which is dangerous.

LOL.

[aephi alum]

I went with "yes, barring unforeseen circumstances". The "unforeseen circumstances" would have to be pretty heavy - my own hospitalization or death (obviously I would not be attending in that case!), a death or imminent death in the family, the premature birth of an immediate relative's child (e.g. my sister is due to have a baby in May, the event is in April, and the baby is born a few weeks early and my sister needs my help), etc. In any case, I would make every attempt to contact the host or to have someone contact her/him on my behalf.

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we were advised to take the number of "yes" RSVPs and give the caterer a firm headcount of 90% of that number. It turned out to be spot on. I had X yeses, I gave a firm headcount of Y = X * 0.9, and exactly Y people turned up.

[DrPhil]

Interesting. Let's say I get 40 "yes" RSVPs.

Y = 40 *.9

Y = 36

That sounds reasonable and realistic.