Should I give it a second shot?

[Jnorts]

I have been planning on doing formal recruitment for a LONG time. I am a freshman, it was this week, and I got cut HARD. We had two open house days and on the third day, I was only invited to 1 house instead of 5. Not only that, but it was the house that I didn't like AT ALL. I could tell that those aren't the type of girls I would bond with, so even though my RG tried to get me to still go to the party, I didn't. I was heartbroken and completely dropped recruitment and I can't believe I won't be a part of a sorority like I hoped. I'm thinking I was just too nervous and therefore didn't talk enough, and I was so focused on impressing them that I just smiled a lot and didn't act like myself. Hopefully that's the reason I got cut, not because all the girls that I thought I bonded with hated me.

Obviously I don't need to decide now, but should I do informal recruitment in the fall? I feel so defeated and hurt, but still feel like I belong in a sorority. At my school, as far as I know, all sororities participate in informal because I remember them all advertising at the beginning of the year. Or will the fact that all the houses cut me haunt me again and end up with me being rejected for the second time?

[Titchou]

It's difficult to speak to your specific situation. However, GENERALLY SPEAKING, first day releases are for grades and reputation. Add no recommendations if you are at school which requires them. So, first of all, I would look at myself from those standpoints. If all is fine on those fronts, then it could have been your demeanor/dress,etc. You might talk with the Sorority Adviser in the Greek Life office for more input.

[Jnorts]

Originally Posted by Titchou

It's difficult to speak to your specific situation. However, GENERALLY SPEAKING, first day releases are for grades and reputation. Add no recommendations if you are at school which requires them. So, first of all, I would look at myself from those standpoints. If all is fine on those fronts, then it could have been your demeanor/dress,etc. You might talk with the Sorority Adviser in the Greek Life office for more input.

I have a 3.6 GPA, no violations/write-ups, and haven't done anything around the sororities. Letters of rec are rare.

[WhiteRose1912]

1.) You are identifiable, so be careful what you say (be respectful).
2.) It is highly, highly unlikely that anyone other than the organization you decided you didn't like will be having recruitment in the fall. There are a lot of seniors graduating, so there's a chance, but it's slim. You can try formal again in the spring, but that will likely be your last chance. Juniors don't rush on your campus.

[ConfettiCupcake]

I'm so sorry for you - that sounds awful! Try not to beat yourself up about this. Recruitment is hard to understand sometimes. It might help to spend the rest of this semester meeting LOTS of girls in class and activities and stuff on campus. Get the very best grades that you can and make some sorority girl connections and then see how you feel in the fall.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

You're going to get beaten up around here for not giving group #5 a shot. You know how you made a snap judgement about them? That's what the other chapters did to you.

[ConfettiCupcake]

Actually, Deltabetababy is right, you really should have given them all a chance, but I know how easy it is to get upset with the whole thing and make a dumb decision especially if you don't have a mom or someone else to give you good advice to hang in there. Really, just try to meet lots of girls - even (and maybe especially) girls from #5. Who knows how it will work out in the fall but try to shake it off right now and be yourself and get good grades.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Jnorts

I have been planning on doing formal recruitment for a LONG time. I am a freshman, it was this week, and I got cut HARD. We had two open house days and on the third day, I was only invited to 1 house instead of 5. Not only that, but it was the house that I didn't like AT ALL. I could tell that those aren't the type of girls I would bond with, so even though my RG tried to get me to still go to the party, I didn't. I was heartbroken and completely dropped recruitment and I can't believe I won't be a part of a sorority like I hoped. I'm thinking I was just too nervous and therefore didn't talk enough, and I was so focused on impressing them that I just smiled a lot and didn't act like myself. Hopefully that's the reason I got cut, not because all the girls that I thought I bonded with hated me.

Obviously I don't need to decide now, but should I do informal recruitment in the fall? I feel so defeated and hurt, but still feel like I belong in a sorority. At my school, as far as I know, all sororities participate in informal because I remember them all advertising at the beginning of the year. Or will the fact that all the houses cut me haunt me again and end up with me being rejected for the second time?

My biggest thing with a second shot at recruitment is if you feel you will regret NOT doing it, by all means, do it.

Keep in mind a few things:

1. During informal recruitment, chapters are working with a certain number of spots based on spring graduates and such. It's a little different than formal, so not every chapter will participate and there are few, while they will participate, will not have many spots.

2. Bear in mind that a second try doesn't always yield a more favorable result. Ex: The chapter you had left could be the only chapter to extend you a bid or invite. Really think about whether you'd be ok with that.

3. Legitimately sit down and ask yourself "What will be different NEXT time to make a chapter more likely to give me a bid?" Really reflect on what you could do differently. Were you too shy? Were you rude? Were your grades not as high as other PNMs? Did other women have a lot of friends in chapters when you did not? Make an effort to change that.

4. Be open minded. Ask yourself "Do I want to be Greek or do I only want to be in _______ or _______ sorority?"

With that being said, best of luck to you if you decide to try again!

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

My biggest thing with a second shot at recruitment is if you feel you will regret NOT doing it, by all means, do it.

Keep in mind a few things:

1. During informal recruitment, chapters are working with a certain number of spots based on spring graduates and such. It's a little different than formal, so not every chapter will participate and there are few, while they will participate, will not have many spots.

2. Bear in mind that a second try doesn't always yield a more favorable result. Ex: The chapter you had left could be the only chapter to extend you a bid or invite. Really think about whether you'd be ok with that.

3. Legitimately sit down and ask yourself "What will be different NEXT time to make a chapter more likely to give me a bid?" Really reflect on what you could do differently. Were you too shy? Were you rude? Were your grades not as high as other PNMs? Did other women have a lot of friends in chapters when you did not? Make an effort to change that.

4. Be open minded. Ask yourself "Do I want to be Greek or do I only want to be in _______ or _______ sorority?"

With that being said, best of luck to you if you decide to try again!

I would like to make an addition to #3: have you gotten involved in clubs and/or activities on campus?

Sororities expect their members to be involved in other activities than just the sorority. If you have been on campus for one semester and not joined anything, that could count against you.

Also, your reply to Titchou in regards to your reputation that you "have not done anything around sorority members" made me raise my eyebrows. Does that mean that you might have been involved in some activity(ies) that is/are questionable? If so, don't think that news can't travel around campus, because it certainly can. And if so, start trying to repair any damage you think may have been done.

[Titchou]

And I'm also talking about reputation from home/high school. It's not just what you've done on your campus. And believe me, people KNOW things. What's your FB/My Space/Twitter like?