How would you handling seeing people who don't like you while rushing

#1 06-24-2012, 12:45 PM

I plan on rushing in the fall and I do not know who is in greek life, but i have a feeling I will see people already members in the sororities who went to my high school. I didn't have many friends in high school and a lot of people picked on me and didn't seem to like me and I would just give them attitude in response which of course made me look worse. However I have grown since high school and I hope they have done the same.

I want to make sure that me getting a bid isn't influenced from high school years and if I do get a bid that there isn't so much judgment and dislike as I become a member in the sorority from girls that may have known me and misjudged me back in high school.

In case this does happen how should I handle it and not make me feel discouraged into not rushing or pledging?

33girl · #2 06-24-2012, 12:55 PM

Here's my question. If your HS years were such hell, why on earth are you attending a college where lots of your former HS classmates attend?

MST62 · #3 06-24-2012, 01:02 PM

I second 33's sentiments. However, if it's something you cannot change (it's the city college and you have to live at home, whatever), then you go through recruitment and be a nice and polite person. If you see them, you smile and say hi and be just as polite as you are to the ladies who don't know you. It's not that hard, and chances are, if they hated you that much they won't WANT to rush you.

#4 06-24-2012, 01:08 PM

Because I cannot afford out of state colleges. I don't know if I will see every single one because it is a decently big university, however I do know quite a few people who go there that went to my high school.

33girl · #5 06-24-2012, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Because I cannot afford out of state colleges. I don't know if I will see every single one because it is a decently big university, however I do know quite a few people who go there that went to my high school.

You don't have to go out of state, just not to the "favorite" college of your HS. Every school has one, you just have to figure them out and stay away. If there's a state school system in place, pretty much all of them cost the same.

That being said, if it's a flagship university (like Penn State, Indiana University etc) it'll be huge enough that you may never run into ANYONE from your HS unless you or they make it a point to. At a huge school like that, it's doubtful that one girl in a sorority is going to say "oh well when we were in 7th grade this girl did blah blah" because she knows it'll make her sound like an ass. The same goes for a small school, for that matter. I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it.

#6 06-24-2012, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

You don't have to go out of state, just not to the "favorite" college of your HS. Every school has one, you just have to figure them out and stay away. If there's a state school system in place, pretty much all of them cost the same.

That being said, if it's a flagship university (like Penn State, Indiana University etc) it'll be huge enough that you may never run into ANYONE from your HS unless you or they make it a point to. At a huge school like that, it's doubtful that one girl in a sorority is going to say "oh well when we were in 7th grade this girl did blah blah" because she knows it'll make her sound like an ass. The same goes for a small school, for that matter. I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it.

I am already in my last 2 years of college so i'd rather not transfer anymore, but thank you. I just needed advice on how to handle it being where I am now. Transferring over and over won't help me overcome it because I know I will see and meet people that don't like me or that I don't like no matter where I go. And okay thank you for your advice! Hopefully all goes well

AXOrushadvisor · #7 06-24-2012, 02:18 PM

My own personal opinion is that it WILL affect your recruitment. You just need to make sure you are making the best first impression both in your appearance and in your conversation. I would also make sure that you secure recommendations for every chapter on campus because that will SOMETIMES get you an invite back to round 2 with SOME chapters. A second look and more people who have gotten to know you can only help you in this situation. Good Luck!

#8 06-24-2012, 02:41 PM

Thank you! And i was told by someone who is in a sorority there that graduated that we do not need recommendations but she said she would talk to the main people that run recruitment there for me and said i had nothing to worry about as far as getting in. I hope she is right.

SWTXBelle · #9 06-24-2012, 02:46 PM

At the risk of being Debby Downer I need to say:

No, she is not right. If she is an alumna then all she can do is write you a recommendation and talk to actives. It is the ACTIVES alone who will decide on whether or not you are invited to parties or given a bid.

On the upside - unless you were actively involved in a negative relationship with members they will probably barely remember you. There's nothing you can do about the past - work on what you can do to present yourself in the best possible light now.

Titchou · #10 06-24-2012, 02:47 PM

Unusual for someone going thru "recrutiment" to use the term "soror" as that is usually used by groups who do "intake" not "recruitment." In other words, it's usually used by NPHC groups and not NPC ones.

In either case, the way you handle it is very simple - like a lady.

#11 06-24-2012, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

At the risk of being Debby Downer I need to say:

No, she is not right. If she is an alumna then all she can do is write you a recommendation and talk to actives. It is the ACTIVES alone who will decide on whether or not you are invited to parties or given a bid.

On the upside - unless you were actively involved in a negative relationship with members they will probably barely remember you. There's nothing you can do about the past - work on what you can do to present yourself in the best possible light now.

Okay thank you.

Titchou · #12 06-24-2012, 03:22 PM

No comments for me because I told you to act like a lady? Hmmmm

#13 06-24-2012, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou

No comments for me because I told you to act like a lady? Hmmmm

Sorry I just read that! I was so preoccupied with the rude commenter. And thank you for your advice as well. In regards to the comment about knowing somebody in a sorority who does not go to the school anymore she seemed really confident she could help me out. Its not a school like Ole Miss where we need reccomendations. Its not a small school at all but its not a really large in demand school either.

AlphaFrog · #14 06-24-2012, 03:39 PM

It's unlikely that if you see those girls from highschool they'll be outright rude to you during rush. Even if they still harbor ill feelings for you, they'd be stupid to say anything snarky or catty in the presence of other PNMs.

justgo_withit · #15 06-24-2012, 03:41 PM

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.