Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands
What do you mean by we listen beyond words, CG? See, I don’t like that whole y’all don’t want anything fixed shit, y’all just want us to listen. Listen to what? Why even bring it up if y’all don’t want anything?
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I think she means that sometimes you just need to vent, but don't need a solution. TKEGuy and I have gotten in the habit of asking "Do you need to vent or do you want help finding a solution?" Sometimes, you really just need to tell the story and get your feelings out.
I knew he didn't have to do much at home because others did it. I didn't know he wasn't capable or wouldn't step up. When we got married, I told him to pick two rooms that he'd be responsible for cleaning. He picked our bedroom and the upstairs bathroom. I rarely used that bathroom. About 5 years later, he tells me need a new toilet upstairs. I ask what's wrong with it. He says "It's all brown inside". I said "Have you CLEANED it?" SO gross.
He had to step it up when I left because he wanted 50-50 custody of the kids. I think that's when he realized how much I really did do around the house. When his (now wife) moved into the house, my son informed me "The quality of living has gone up significantly" LOL
Y'all need to understand- He was a boomer and I'm the first year of GenX. Times were very different. I was really the first generation where a lot more women went to work. Most of our moms were stay at home moms and they did the housework and the dads earned the money and those were the expected roles. As women pushed to go to work and continue working with kids, it took the guys a while to get with the program. People rarely lived out on their own before they got married (I did, for a year, before my first marriage). They got married during college or immediately after college and moved into a place together for the first time. Things were very very different then.
The way things are going in this country, you'll understand in a couple years what things were like when I was a kid... I'm afraid.