[DGTess]

Originally Posted by VioletsAreBlue

How do people define guidance? I think that's the real question.

Honestly, there are plenty of scenarios where the normal rules don't apply. That's life and life is not fair. Sorority recruitment isn't an exception to anything. We're watching what happens - in real time - when people think they are exceptions and when they think their kids are exceptions. And look at what's happened.

I'd suggest that moms need to take a collective step back and then a collective deep breath. Support your child. Give advice. Give guidance. But that's a big step away from getting involved in what the student is supposed to be doing themselves.

And - I say this out of curiosity - what has made the process as intense as it is now? I'd argue that the alumnae and parents have played a role in that. I get that won't be a popular opinion. But there are colleges and universities across the country that don't have moms hanging in trees, and their greek systems are thriving, their chapters are growing, and their nationals are quite happy with their performance.

I've always wondered what would happen if one year at Ole Miss or Bama - for example - the moms and alumnae would take a back seat and let recruitment and membership selection be run 100% by the collegiate membership. I truly believe that some people think it would be an absolute disaster. But honestly, if we are trusting that these women are representatives of the ideals of our sorority, if we trust them to hold leadership positions within our organizations, if we trust them to wear our letters - why don't we trust them to select their own sisterhood? Why don't we trust our own daughters who we've raised into capable adult young women, to manage their recruitment experience?

So yes, I'd say offer guidance, and support for your daughter. But after that - step out of it. I often hear people say that they don't think they'd survive rush if they went through it now. Of course you would survive. Your outcome might have been different, which is kind of bizarre to consider that you might have found yourself in different letters, but you would survive. I actually think the girl that goes in blind and naive might actually have a better experience than the girl who goes in with mom pulling strings and working connections every step of the way because, intentional or not, that level of involvement also sets a stage full of pressure and expectations.

Poundcake, Snowflake and Dumpling are much more capable than people give them credit for. College is the environment where they can try new things, make mistakes, fall on their butts, explore who they are, change who they are and spread those wings. And that includes sorority recruitment.

Hear, hear!!!!!!!!!