Quote:
Originally Posted by OldOleMiss
Groan- didn't know where else to share and this thread seemed appropriate enough-and need to vent--- a friend of mine contacted me about a month ago-- daughter will be a freshman at Alabama. She asked if I would write a rec. and give them some "recruitment advice"- this girl is not only OOS but northern OOS (NJ) AND has ZERO greek family connections-- of course I said I would be happy to help and told her what daughter needed to get me (and other writers) for the rec.
Friend JUST called me and after thanking me profusely for the offer to help told me that after preview weekend Daughter has been invited to SEVERAL teas- so she thinks they are ---direct quote "good to go on the whole rush thing"-- end quote....  OMG- can I just slap her?? I tried my best to explain to her that recs are still going to be needed, etc.. etc... but friend didn't want to hear any of it. I can only HOPE she comes to her senses soon or she is going to have one very upset daughter on her hands.... I talked until I was blue- and finally hung up with a "good luck, let me know if she changes her mind"-- UGH! some people just need to have sense slapped into them...... |
As an OOS with no Greek family connections I can relate to your friend to some extent. You don't know the ins and outs and recruitment brochures and the schools can make it seem like you sign up, show up, and at the end you'll have a house. Add in the mix of getting invited to teas and you can think you're good to go. I probably would have thought Debbie was good to go too........... until I came across this site.
If you have a friend like yourself or stumble upon this site then you slowly start to learn what you thought you knew about the process greatly differs from reality. In addition, a Greek friend in a WA school may have a completely different perspective than a Greek friend in AL.
When my Debbie went through recruitment I tried to share with my husband the before, during, and after of recruitment. He just didn't get it. He especially didn't understand recs when everybody has to get them what then made them unique or special. I couldn't explain it either but told him she had to have them.
An outsider to the process can easily be led to believe by talking to a school's Panhellenic office that it's not that big a deal when you know that it's exactly the opposite. Sometimes it's easier to take the "official" word as gospel instead of a friend or someone in the know. Maybe after teas your friend will come back to you for more info once her daughter hears the other girls talk. Tea/pre-tent talk can open a lot of eyes in a good or bad way.