Quote:
Originally Posted by ASTalumna06
The bridal shower/bachelorette party is in July. I will have to fly in for that, as well. We've just been informed that we have to cover the cost of the invitations, cake, and decorations for the shower, which is taking place at a nice country club….
Between the dress, shoes, bachelorette party, bridal shower, gifts, hotels, rental cars, flights (for both me and my significant other), I figure I'm already in this thing for at least $3,000….
It just seems like the costs keep piling up. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that this is getting outrageous?
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Where I come from, wedding showers are hosted by people who are close to the bride
who offer to do so. That's not what you signed up for and you need to make that clear. To manage the bride's (and MOH's) expectations about your shower participation, respond just like any other "guest" -- that you regret that you can't join them for the shower and that it sounds like tons of fun, but that you are looking forward to seeing them at the wedding itself. Then have the horrible BM dress shipped to you in Texas so you can get the alterations done. If they get bitchy, that's a sign to back out of the whole wedding. Instead, go the other weddings you had mentioned you had to pass on because of finances.
Over the years I've been a flower girl, jr BM, BM (several times), and a MOH. But my all-time favorite wedding role has been as the on-site wedding coordinator. I got to teach the ushers how to usher (seriously), help position the BMs and groomsmen during the rehearsal in the church, and then cue each attendant on when to enter during the actual ceremony. It was the perfect role for someone who likes to control things behind the scenes, and I didn't have to buy a fluffy pastel dress! Not surprisingly, that bride (who happens to be an OPA sister) and I are still super close even though we've moved to opposite ends of the country. We're closer to each other than we are to our blood sisters.