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There is a "what to do when you've been released from recruitment" thread that is geared toward female PNM's, but you should go over there and read it.
It strikes me as odd that both times you put all of your eggs in a single basket, and also odd that you didn't give your roommate's fraternity a shot, if you guys get alone (and it sounds like you do). We advise against that all of the time. It sounds like you made a bad strategic call, and you may have fit better elsewhere.
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