[wildcat601]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I thought the same thing. This isn't a new member who just received a bid 2 weeks ago.. She's an involved sister who has serious doubts about sticking it out in a sorority that she's currently not completely happy being a part of.

Thank you!

As a PNM my sentiments were similar to a lot of posters on GC -- I didn't know a lot of the girls, I felt like I was being rushed into sisterhood and it didn't feel as automatic as I thought it should have, if that makes sense. I became philanthropy chair and it was frustrating to be pressured by advisors to raise more money, yet they rejected all of the committee's ideas. To be fair, I can see why some of them were rejected. However, there were some ideas we had borrowed from the national sorority's facebook page, which other advisors accepted but ours still rejected. In the end, I couldn't make any changes as philanthropy chair besides increasing donations.

Living in the house sophomore year helped me find my best friends, and I thought I had the "sisterhood thing" figured out. I signed up to be a recruitment assistant of sorts, which meant designing and creating the decorations for one of the days of recruitment. My co-chair and I had a committee of volunteers, and no one came to help us for the several months we worked on the project, so we were both very frustrated with our sisters and the idea that we were supposed to be there for each other. We had to spend something like 300 hours doing the work on our own.

There are also frustrations with things like attendance. Of course attending chapter meetings and such is important, but my excuses (submitted 24 hrs in advance and all of that) were rejected multiple times and no one notified me until I was a member in bad standing. I had to be excused because I have a fellowship, which is like a job, and had to argue to get my 'good standing' back. I don't mean to undervalue the benefits of a sorority, but things like my fellowship are really important for my career path, and I wonder if I should direct my time else where.

So, there have been some highs and lows. Through it all I've had my handful of best friends in the chapter. I've talked to them about quitting the sorority, and whether or not I'm a member won't affect our friendship. This makes me wonder why I'm going through the motions when I only do it for these friends. (Again -- I don't mean to knock sororities because I do think they can be fun and productive, I'm just not sure it's helping me get to where I want to go in life. Other poster's comments about the alumnae network have been helpful, though.)

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

You need to be honest with yourself about why the national organization got involved and was threatening to kick members out of the sorority. And remember, you might not know the whole story.

This issue happened at the end of my sophomore year, to one of my best friends and future roommates. At the time my roommate in the sorority house was on Exec. so I got to hear most of the details regarding the issue from Nationals's perspective. It's likely I don't know the whole story, but from what I discussed with the members of Exec and my friend, there were just flaws in the system that we couldn't clear up without risking more punishment. There was another incident where a girl was kicked out of the house, and that was reasonable. I'm trying to be fair, though I'm not sure if that comes off in these posts!

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Are you the only member who feels this way?

No. The majority of the members strongly dislike our advisors (I don't mean to knock all advisors or make them feel unappreciated -- just ours haha). Dinner conversations often mention how we love the other members but hate XYZ sorority. A lot of us wish we could just quit and then spend time with one another.
Granted not everyone feels that way. Our president doesn't have a problem with Nationals, which has caused a whole load of other issues haha.

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

It sounds to me like youre able to manage your time (contrary to what other posters here have suggested), but you just don't want to attend some of these things.

Thanks. Yes I can manage my time, it's just an issue of choosing my battles and getting enough sleep.

I appreciate your advice. Last semester, I stepped back considerably, and thankfully I have two more months to decide if I want to drop before the school year. Your insight about the alumnae network was really helpful -- that's not something that's discussed often so it's good to know that information. Thank you again for your time and thoughtful response, and I'm sorry mine is so long!