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Originally Posted by christiangirl
Again, all of these things really speak more to the people behind the pledges than the pledges themselves. The pledge does not make a person see sex as something dirty or bad. If the young person has immense guilt after having sex, they would very likely have that guilt whether or not they had signed that little card. I say this because, if the person did not already feel that premarital sex was something they shouldn't do, they would not have sworn before God not to do it. If the church and/or family is pushing the young person to make the pledge, then that church and/family were likely attempting to control these kids (read: girls) way before the pledge was thought of and would continue to do so after. The vow of purity is like a marriage vow in a sense--one can make it when they are not ready or totally skew the meaning of the words to control another person (usually the wife). But the amount of power the words have depends entirely on the person saying them and the ideals that have already been instilled in them prior to the vow.
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I think there is something wrong with the actual purity balls themselves and not just with the people behind the purity balls. Therefore, I also think it is possible for there to be something wrong with certain types of purity pledges beyond just the people behind the purity pledges. There are purity pledges (not all of them, there are different types of pledges) that are designed a particular way which is why there are similarities in the outcome of some of these pledges.
Quote:
Originally Posted by christiangirl
FTR I am not a fan of churches or families encouraging kids/teens to take the purity vow. It's a deeply personal decision that no parent can make for you and the choice to make it/keep it/break it is up to the you. If you have been raised to make the decision for yourself and stick by whatever values you have that make this the best choice for you, then the pledge is really just a nice afterthought to a decision already made. If it's the opposite scenario, the pledge itself isn't the cause of a sort of sexist shame--that would be there because of a sexist, shame-fostering environment.
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I agree and this is a problem with certain types of pledges that are designed to remove the personal decision making from this. For these types of pledges, it would not matter which people are involved. The outcome would be the same because there is a problem with the design of the pledges because those who designed it were hoping for a particular outcome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by christiangirl
BTW Munchkin, I have seen photos from mother-son purity balls and I feel the same about them as the father-daughter ones--they were slightly vomitatious and the boys looked WAY too young.
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Yes, it is gross. These are much less common (even more relatively rare than father-daughter purity balls) for a reason. One such event is the mother-son Integrity Ball
http://www.dakotavoice.com/200701/20070115_1.html. I wonder whether this has become an annual event.
Quote:
Originally Posted by christiangirl
He was obviously very pleased that I wouldn't be having sex (what dad wouldn't be?)....
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Is this a dad-daughter thing or just a concerned parent thing?