Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil
Man-on-woman violence tends to be perceived differently than woman-on-man, man-on-man, and woman-on-woman violence. If a GC man shared the lesson that he and his wife learned after a violent altercation in which he punched her, he was arrested, and his wife felt bad seeing him in court--that would receive a different response from GCers. If a GC man said everything that IrishLake said but reversed the genders, it would receive a different response from GCers.
I appreciate IrishLake's honesty so my posts are not about her. It is simply the case that the responses to her post are extremely common. It is extremely common for people to respond to women in a manner that they tend not to respond to men. That includes the fact that women are more likely to share their experiences as the abusee or the abuser than men are. Men would not share if they were abused and they would not share if they abused someone else (even if they learned a huge lesson from it and it strengthened the relationship).
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I agree with all of this. I read this entire thread before work this morning, but I didn't have time to respond. That's the bad thing about this board, you almost have to keep checking it for good chatting sessions, otherwise you miss out LOL. This is one that I missed. Dr. Phil, I feel you on this. I've never been abused in a relationship and I've never hit a woman, but I have seen my pops beat on my mom several times. I was just a kid then, and I wasn't much older than 7 or 8 when they finally divorced. It was one of those things that she eventually got tired of. I think sometimes we live in a bad situation for so long that it becomes normal when in reality it isn't. When you mentioned the chuckling if it was a female beating on a dude, I'll admit, I'd probably laugh at that too. It's almost a normal response from a lot of dudes, but at the same time a wrong response. But, yeah, I agree with this all the way.