[IrishLake]

I've changed my mind about 40 times since I posted this. I talked to my husband, I talked to my mom... they both think I should back out simply because the dress will look godawful on me. My mom doesn't even think it'll look good on my sister, she's upset. Part of me wants to do it for my brother because I love him and I know he wants me to be a part of his big day. I feel like I'll be hurting his feelings if I back out. But at the same time... my pale, chunky ass is going to look horrible in this. But then my husband said if I back out, he's only going to step down if my brother asks him to. Then if FSiL finds a replacement bridesmaid they'll still have an equal number. Only if FSiL cant find someone else will he step down. Which bothered me at first, but now I'm thinking "sa-weet, he can take care of the kids all day doing wedding party stuff, and he can partner up with my sister!"

Sigh.... I'm still thinking.